Fix: bar fights, buff dudes, Florida, beaches, Gyllenhaal, Conor McGregor, remakes
Platforms: Amazon Prime
Amazon Prime Summary:
In this adrenaline-fueled reimagining of the 80s cult classic, ex-UFC fighter Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) takes a job as a bouncer at a Florida Keys roadhouse, only to discover that this paradise is not all it seems.
FYA Summary:
The best update to this take on the definitive bar fight movie of 1989 is to set it in Florida. We were never told why the original Double Deuce was such a shithole and why everyone in that small Missouri town was always spoiling for a fight. But tell me this bar exists in Florida, and it all makes sense now. In reality, The Roadhouse of this iteration is actually a pretty nice place. It’s right on the water in the Florida Keys with kind of a thatched roof tiki vibe and zydeco-style live music. I would totally drink at this place on vacation! Frankie, the owner, recruits the infamous former UFC fighter, Elwood Dalton, to restore some order to her previously chill establishment. The hell-raising bikers who have been causing trouble are minions of the town asshole, but this time, instead of just liking to run a corrupt town (though he does) this guy also has his greedy sights set on the prime real estate The Roadhouse occupies. Dalton will have to figure out who he can and can’t trust in this town in order to get the bar cleaned up and make the town safer for hot doctors, as well as adorable moppets and their bookstore-owning dads. How did they know the way to our hearts?
Familiar Faces:
Jake Gyllenhaal as Elwood Dalton and Daniela Melchior as Ellie
Jake Gyllenhaal, I do not know what made you decide to get hella ripped and take this role, but I’m not gonna argue about it. As the laconic Dalton, Gyllenhaal is a little less zen than his predecessor and mostly comes off stoned. But at least he’s provided with a tragic backstory that explains why he’s so well-known, since I guess dudes can’t get famous just for being bouncers in 2024.
Daniela Melchior has previously been in Fast X and Guardians of the Galaxy 3, though she’s not given a ton to do here. She’s the town doctor who doesn’t approve of Dalton’s profession, or maybe just his methods. But I do enjoy when she “borrows” her cop ex-boyfriend’s (a blink and you’ll miss him Travis Van Winkle) boat so she can take the hot bouncer to make out on a sandbar. Those are just smart life choices.
Connor McGregor as Knox and Billy Magnussen as Ben Brandt
Nobody is having as much fun in this movie as Conor McGregor. This dude is a real-life UFC fighter and not really much of an actor, but he’s so gleefully unhinged that he was an utter delight. Considering how physically demanding the fight scenes must have been, he’s an excellent casting choice. Billy Magnussen is experienced at asshole roles from his turns in Ingrid Goes West and Game Night, so he makes for the perfect villain, or more accurately, the unseen villain’s spoiled and ineffectual son.
Jessica Williams as Frankie
Jessica Williams is so great in Shrinking (omg, please watch it) and Booksmart. You may have also seen her in Love Life and those Fantastic Beasts movies. As Frankie, she gets to be her usual hilarious self while making the savvy choice to hire a disgraced UFC fighter to be the bouncer in her bar. In an interview with ExtraTV about the making of the movie, she said “I had a blast. Are you kidding? I got to walk around on the beach looking all hot wearing some short shorts, hiking boots, and yell at people. I had a freakin’ blast.” I LOVE YOU, JESSICA WILLIAMS.
Couch-Sharing Capability: If You Wanna Go To Get Away From It All
This is a mindless confection of a film. Invite some friends over to ogle hot men and plan your Florida Keys trip. Watch it with your dude and get some action movie brownie points. Or have a great couch potato weekend all by yourself.
Recommended Level of Inebriation: Tropical Drink Melting In Your Hand
The sunny beach setting had me wanting a pina colada bad. But since I had just come from a bourbon tasting where we were given 13 different samples I decided to stay conscious instead. LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE. If fruity tiki drinks are not your jam, I highly suggest something of the edible variety to achieve that tropical vacay feel.
Use of Your Streaming Subscription: That’s Where We Wanna Go
With the Dominican Republic standing in for Florida, the filming location is not exactly a hardship to look at. Directed by Doug Liman, who made Edge of Tomorrow, Jumper, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and The Bourne Identity (we’ll just skip right over that Chaos Walking adaptation – yikes), this guy knows how to do legit action sequences. And because it’s based on Road House for god’s sake, it never takes itself too seriously. Rated R for nudity among other things (thank you to Conor McGregor’s ass), this makes for a fun popcorn movie. With the summer coming up, this is exactly the kind of mindless entertainment a lot of folks will be looking for. And hello, did you see how shredded Jake Gyllenhaal got? That poor man probably hasn’t had a carb in a year.
This version makes some different choices, like skipping the whole mentor character altogether, which might have been the right call since Sam Elliott is one of a kind. Instead of the old man with the auto parts shop, Dalton befriends a bookstore owner and his daughter. My favorite update might have been the choice to go with a slightly different ending for Dalton, one that I actually think makes more sense for the character. No, in the end, this Road House doesn’t quite measure up to the original, but give it 30 years, and who knows?
