Netflix Summary:
It’s Christmastime in Aldovia, and a royal baby is on the way. Amber and Richard host royals from a distant kingdom to renew a sacred truce, but when the treaty vanishes, peace is jeopardized and an ancient curse threatens their family.
What’s Actually Going On In Santa’s Workshop:
Well, we made it through wacky journalistic hijinks and, somehow, a more ridiculous wedding planner than Franck, so there’s really nothing else the A Christmas Prince franchise can do to me. This year, Queen Amber is expecting Aldovia’s new heir right around—wouldn’t you know it—Christmastime! I appreciate that the writers realized a plot hung around various movie/TV pregnancy clichés (pregnant ladies love donuts!) wasn’t going to be enough to carry an entire ninety-minute feature, so there’s also some nonsense about Aldovia and another fake country, Penglia, and their 600-year-old Christmas Eve treaty that has to be symbolically renewed every hundred years or they are back at war with one another. This plot is absurd.
I dearly hope that three movies in this franchise is MORE than enough. If there has to be a fourth, then I demand it be about Amber and Richard’s child hosting a Christmas spouse-finding competition, complete with hot chocolate cooking contests and caroling sing-offs.
Naughty or Nice List:
Rose McIver as Amber
They must have fired the makeup/hair team that Rose McIver pissed off in the last movie, because she had actual makeup and styled hair the entire time! She looked quite nice actually. Once again, Amber got to pull out her “investigating chops” when the Penglia treaty went missing and everyone tries to figure out whodunnit. Unfortunately, her character also basically convinced herself that her baby would be “doomed” by a 600-year-old curse if a piece of paper wasn’t signed by midnight, so…Amber is kind of all over.
Verdict: Nice. But only because I still feel bad for her.
Honor Kneafsey as Princess Emily
Princess Emily was the only saving grace of the second film, but she was a bit of a pain in this one. She believed whole-heartedly in the aforementioned curse and kept goading Amber into worrying about it. Lay off; pregnancy is hard enough.
Verdict: Naughty. I’m disappointed, Emily.
Melissa is Amber’s friend from New York I never remember seeing before but who has apparently appeared in the last two movies. She’s secretly been dated Simon, Richard’s sort-of evil cousin, for the last year, and shows up at the castle to spend Christmas with her boo and her BFF. Amber is not thrilled about the romance, but she does the right thing and is a supportive friend. Melissa is jealous of Simon’s friendship with an old flame who happens to be the executive assistant (?) for the Penglia royal family, and of course it looks like he’s totally still into her. Jealousy is basically her entire storyline.
Verdict: Nice. But kind of spineless.
Queen Ming hates feminism, and it’s up to Amber to change her mind. Discussing motherhood also brings them together. As villains go, she doesn’t hold a candle to last year’s annoying Mrs. Averill.
Verdict: Naughty. She refuses to sign a treaty because she’s “only” a queen.
Sleigh-Sharing Capability: You Know Your Person
There will be a small pool of people who have willingly watched the first two movies and want to subject themselves to this one, so I think by now you’ve got a single name in mind. If you don’t, it’s probably better that way. No one needs to know you’re still putting on this schlock when you’re bored.
Recommended Level of Inebriation: As High As The Star On The Tree
There’s zero reason to watch this franchise sober, especially since it’s not like you need to be wasted in order to be confused by the plot (“Oh, we checked everywhere for the missing treaty!” they said. Everywhere except, you know, like the entire DUNGEON. *Thousands of eye rolls*) Maybe slip some Crown Royal whisky into your hot chocolate if you want to be on the nose with your libations.
Did It Get Me In The Christmas Spirit?: Do You Have To Ask?
The most Christmas-y part of the movie was the weird Aldovian trivia game with a tiered tree-tray you placed ornaments on that Emily and Simon force the king of Penglia to play to distract him from the castle’s poor security protocols.
But I guess watching questionable movies in December is my Christmas tradition, so…maybe?
