We’ve made it to Tony’s episode which the whole season has been leading up to—Tony trying to regain any sense of his old self, Sid and Michelle hooking up and Cassie going off the deep end (again). After popping molly at a club with Cassie, it’s clear that Tony’s not doing any better or dealing well with Michelle and Sid’s pairing. But a campus interview and a mysterious lady might help him figure things out. Here’s what we’ve learned about Tony.
1. He’s still not completely better
In the opening scene, we learn that Tony is still have nightmares and needs Effy to read to him for him to go to sleep. Whether or not it’s related to his previous injuries, Tony’s first drug use doesn’t go so well. After confronting Sid, he ends up throwing up and having a panic attack in the bathroom.
1b. His dick doesn’t work
While he’s high with Cassie, he has to tell her that his dick doesn’t work which of course is overheard by everyone in the club as the music goes conveniently silent.
2. He’s in the midst of a love square
He’s not happy about Michelle/Sid, Cassie’s not happy about Sid/Michelle, so there’s just a bunch of angsty feelings all over the place. These feelings are not helped when Michelle and Sid come over to speak to Tony while he hides under his bed.
After Old Tony has been fucked back into commission, he goes back and confronts Michelle and Sid, interrupting them while they are having sex. He tells Michelle he loves her and that he loves Sid. Tony’s really pulling out all the Skins OTP’s here: Michelle/Tony, Sid/Cassie.
3. He does have glimpses of Old Tony
While he’s high, he confronts Sid in a very old Tony sort of way—grabbing Sid’s beer and chugging it and generally being a dick (calling Michelle ‘Nips’ and saying they are the “greatest couple”).
Old Tony shows up again when he finally has his interview during his university visit. He yells at his interviewer on sleeping with first year students and even grabs him by the lapels. It’s very intense and seems to give Tony his swagger back.
4. He meets a mysterious lady
I mean, ugh. She somehow knows who he is and is gorgeous obviously. And she keeps popping up where Tony is which also happens to be at his university tour. She keeps coming to his rescue when he needs it and also to cause trouble. She’ll speak up for him in the group but will disappear when they get caught swimming in the pool. Then she’ll take him into a darkened lab to walk across to her and runs off again. But my main question about this chick is that DOES SHE EVEN EXIST? I really do not believe she’s real especially when Tony has that tattoo that she gets?!
4b. She gets his dick to work again
Of course, she begins to challenge Tony to do all the things he believes he can’t do including fucking. He freaks out because she’s really egging him on. After yelling at his interviewer, he goes and bones that mysterious girl. And I will say that this sex scene totally holds up from my first viewing. It’s still hot. Does this mean that sex is weirdly Tony’s secret power or something?
Was half of this episode some sort of weird side effect of Tony’s previous drug use? There is A LOT that doesn’t make any sense at all. When he’s on the train talking to the man with the burned face, is that supposed to be a metaphor for what Tony thinks he looks like on the inside? And is it the same actor who then plans the group leader for his orientation? I am very confused.
I think this whole episode is literally some weird drug induced masturbatory fantasy Tony had when his dick finally worked while he was alone scouring porn on the internet to emo music.
Necessary Tony Judgment
- Effy reads about Orpheus to Tony—a Greek poet/singer who apparently could charm all living things. SOUND FAMILIAR TONY?!
- Tony tells Jal she looks different. HE KNOWS! HE IS ALL KNOWING!
- “I’m sad about them. Aren’t you?” Cassie to Tony on Michelle and Sid.
- Cassie thinks that she and Tony should date.
- Sid watches Cassie make out with another dude at the club.
- Effy’s side eye to Michelle is great.
- Skins is a great PSA for not making out with everyone in your friend group.
- Michelle’s orange flower necklace is hideous.
- The university tour team are super annoying.
- The lady tour guide rejects the dude tour guide HARD. It’s sad for him actually.
- Love this douche in the group who talks about building both literal and figurative bridges in South America or something. He’s obviously wearing a vest.
- “I don’t really find intellectual thrust that sexy” Tony’s mystery lady.
- Is it just me or are the stoner bros in that dorm totally hot?
- Why are they all getting naked in this dorm room? Was this everyone’s college experience but mine?
- Of course, the one stoner bro is also a tattoo artist.
- I fully expected the dorm room tattooing sitch to turn into a weird orgy.
- That’s also a terrible tattoo that Tony’s mystery gal gets and that Tony ends up with.
Next week: We get to see what kind of trouble Effy’s in and I think we meet Panda for the first time!
About the Contributor:
Kerensa Cadenas is a writer living in Los Angeles. She grew up on binge reading Sweet Valley High and watching Saved by the Bell at a very young age. Hence, she is now unable to grow out of this life-long phase. She loves terrible teen television, young adult novels and probably listens to One Direction more than she should. She also enjoys more adult things like margaritas on patios and dance parties. A Marcus Flutie/Nate Archibald man-hybrid remains her ideal.