Title: The Carrie Diaries S1.E13 “Kiss Yesterday Goodbye”
Released: 2013

Previous episode: “A First Time for Everything”

So, the finale happened and it was interesting? I know this show is still finding its legs and hopefully we’ll get another season for it to do so but the finale was kinda a letdown. Mainly because it used some of the most tried and true teen tropes without regard to what our characters would ACTUALLY do.

In honor of this, I’m gonna go through these tropes that came up in this episode. Let’s discuss!

Revealed Secrets

I mean we all knew this one was coming. The two main secrets that had been floating around were Walt being gay and Carrie’s dad making out, one of which is obviously much more important.

Maggie accidentally blurts out that her and Sebastian saw Carrie’s dad on a date, just after the two have got back together (more on that below). When Carrie confronts Sebastian about it, he tells her the standard “wanted to protect you” reasoning but mentions that it wasn’t a date so much as an intense make-out session that they witnessed. Carrie doesn’t react well. However, this is a non-secret considering how much Drakkar Noir that the dad has been wearing to the gym and Carrie knows this. Also, why do we care about the dad again?

After this Maggie apologizes to Sebastian for telling the secret and then laments her own unhappiness because Sebastian tells her “clearly you can’t find happiness with a guy.” UM. So, I know I always forget that Sebastian isn’t really the most developed character at all, mainly because of his face (Sorry for the blatant objectification Austin Butler! Call me!) so I guess for plot purposes (?) they decided it made sense for HIM TO OUT WALT TO MAGGIE. Again, even though there still isn’t a ton to Sebastian, he also doesn’t seem like a guy who would just go around saying things.

Maggie takes it pretty badly. She goes to the diner where Carrie, Mouse and Walt are at and makes a huge scene in front of everyone asking him if he’s gay, a homo and then telling him that he makes her sick. I totally understand how Maggie would be upset, but I really don’t feel like she would have acted like that.

Break-Up/Back Together

Carrie and Sebastian do the break-up/back together SO many times in this episode. When the episode starts off, the two had broken up in the previous episode. Carrie gets some seemingly shallow surface advice from Larissa about Sebastian basically saying if he was willing to go to Manhattan to come hang with the “fabulous gays and the hags that love them” that means he really cares or something.

When Carrie gets back from the office, Sebastian is waiting at her house for her. He tells her he misses her. Then in a long, annoying speech they begin apologizing to each other and talk about the things they hate that they do. Guess what they don’t hate? Each other! Carrie finally tells Sebastian that she loves him.

Now, they are supposed to go to prom together and all that, but the dad secret comes out. Carrie flips out about it. She’s so mad he didn’t tell her. This ends up resulting in Carrie thinking that they are just “too different” because of their backgrounds to be together and she breaks up with him.

Carrie and Walt go to Larissa’s going away party where again Larissa gives Carrie some real talk. She tells Carrie that she would never be satisfied with a man who doesn’t challenge her or supports her. Carrie realizes that Sebastian is that person and goes to go find him. Little does she know, something else has happened. They  tentatively get back together. Carrie wants them to have sex and Sebastian thinks they shouldn’t yet.

And with the next reveal, they break up again.

Best Friend/Boyfriend

So, I called that this was going to happen. And I’m not happy about it.

Maggie and Sebastian didn’t sleep together, praise be but still. After all the secrets are revealed, the two find themselves drowning their sorrows at the local bar. They get super drunk. Also what teenagers drink straight whiskey? Maggie tells Sebastian she doesn’t want to be alone tonight and they kiss. UGH. I know Maggie is a self-destructive mess as is Sebastian but I really don’t think that either of them would do this to Carrie. AT ALL.

Maggie goes to Carrie’s in the morning after Carrie has just spent the night at Sebastian’s. She tells Carrie what happened and Carrie is pretty rightfully angry and things are not good between them. Sebastian starts calling and then shows up. Carrie has Dorrit tell him she’s not home. But Dorrit tells Sebastian she thinks they will work it out.

Virginity Loss

Let’s start this one with maybe the most fucked up thing Carrie has said in voice over all season.

Carrie: “It was strange to think my sister was happy and in love and I wasn’t.”

Tina Fey: “RUDE.”

Dorrit is still seeing the insufferable Miller. We find out that Miller is a senior via Sebastian since the two went to the same private school that Sebastian got kicked out of for smoking pot (swoon). Sebastian also describes him as “not caring about anything.” He’s perfect!

But he apparently, hopefully cares about Dorrit. He doesn’t want them to have sex with Carrie downstairs he wants things to be special, even though Dorrit just wants to get it over with so she can know what it’ll be like good or bad. Miller insists it won’t be bad (sure bro). One thing to note, Miller says this, “I will like you afterwards.” THIS IS NOT A GREAT SIGN.

Oda Mae Brown (Ghost): “You in danger, girl.”

Dorrit goes to Miller’s where things are special with candles and rose petals. If Miller is so anti-authority wouldn’t he have done something slightly more unique? Black rose petals? Dorrit is so overwhelmed by it all she begins crying. Miller takes that to mean she’s not ready.  She explains about how she never cried when her mom died and that just now she did because she felt everything.

They do it. And Dorrit is wearing pink and declares that she loves Miller to Carrie. I am worried for Dorrit.

Dating Not Parent Approved Boy

Mouse and West are finally together but her parents don’t know about him. When Carrie gingerly asks if her parents are racist, Mouse exclaims, “Duh! Of course they are.” Basically against anyone who isn’t Chinese. Mouse says this is mainly because their family are descendants of Chinese royalty and they only want her to date others of those origins.

This means going to the prom with Eugene, a boy who is Dorrit’s age and looks like he is 10. He has recently created a family tree for fun and reveals that their families are not from royalty but from the same farming village. Mouse goes and finds West at the diner. She’s told her parents about him and says “I want to go to the prom with my hot geek boyfriend.” And then they dance in the diner! It’s adorable!

Later, we see West meeting Mouse’s parents. Aw.

Convenient Out/Escape

I think that Walt’s storyline, unlike everyone else, feels the most honest. Even though Sebastian outed him, he’s not mad at him. While they are at Larissa’s going away party, Bennett tells him he’s proud of Walt for acknowledging his sexuality, even if he’s not completely comfortable totally coming out yet. Bennett does tell Walt that some people won’t accepts him no matter what he does.

After clubbing until the morning hours, Walt kisses Bennett, who likes Walt but wants him to not be jailbait first, which won’t be until the end of the summer.

Unlike everyone else, Carrie and Walt have their convenient escape. Larissa’s studying to be a geisha (yeah, no idea) for part of the summer so Carrie and Walt are staying in her loft in the city. They can escape their problems (Sebastian, Maggie, coming out) and not have to deal with anyone until they get back.

We’ll see if The Carrie Diaries gets picked up for Season 2, so I’ll maybe see you in the fall so we can discuss the symmetry of Austin Butler’s face some more. I mean look how long 90210 has ran for if that’s any indicator and that show makes no sense.

Things of Note/Hilarity/WTF

  • The dad had a ton of loud sex this episode and is still with the FACE who Carrie is now referring to as the GYM. I just finished the first season of Scandal, so seeing the dad was really weird for me. Carrie has a problem with the dad seeing the GYM. Dorrit just wants the dad to have a life so he won’t bother her.

  • “Proms are for getting drunk, getting laid and getting in fights.” – Maggie

  • Mouse’s prom dress is terrible. Carrie’s is very SATC tutu reminiscent.

  • None of them actually go to prom.

  • Maggie’s sleeping with the cop again, who has a fiancee.

  • “My roommate Stanford is a party promoter. He’ll get us into the hottest clubs.” Bennett’s roommate is STANFORD BLATCH.

  • Carrie is wearing the most insane outfit in the last scene.

About the Contributor:

Kerensa Cadenas is a writer living in Los Angeles. She grew up on binge reading Sweet Valley High and watching Saved by the Bell at a very young age. Hence, she is now unable to grow out of this life-long phase. She loves terrible teen television, young adult novels and probably listens to One Direction more than she should. She also enjoys more adult things like margaritas on patios and dance parties. A Marcus Flutie/Nate Archibald man-hybrid remains her ideal.


This post was written by a guest writer or former contributor for Forever Young Adult.