Drinks Taken: 10
Welcome to the Dawson’s Creek Rewatch Project, where Gwen Stefani’s here because it’s the last season and why not!
Let’s drink to walking into spiderwebs:
The Dawson’s Creek Drinking Game
Drink Once every time:
Joey purses her mouth or chews on her lip
Joey tucks her hair behind her ear
Sex makes Dawson and/or Joey extremely uncomfortable
Grams says “Jennifaaah”
Pacey wears a shirt that makes you want to blind yourself
Audrey declares something risqué or insane with utter confidence
Drink Twice every time:
You have literally no idea why Joey is mad
Pacey gives someone a really good hug
Cool Jen Lindley is totally crapped on by the universe
Onto the episodes!
6.07 “Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell”
Woof. I’m gonna level with you guys: not much happens in these episodes aside from Audrey’s spiral into the abyss, and that arc really bums me out, so I’m going to rush this writeup just a bit. (By the way: “Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell” is another Dawson-free episode, which makes me think that James Van Der Beek was doing some hard-hitting contract negotiations or had simply checked out by Season 6.)
Audrey’s doing very poorly since her breakup with Pacey, and she’s pretty furious with Joey for not noticing. She has a gig at Hell’s Kitchen with the Hell’s Belles, which certainly makes sense from a branding standpoint, and she gets TRASHED beforehand. Joey’s trying to placate her while Audrey’s being pretty snobby and uncool to Eddie, which pisses Eddie off, and then the gig goes… okay? Audrey’s about as punk rock as anyone has ever been, and the crowd loves it, but she sure trashes the joint.
The night ends with Audrey puking and screaming at Joey in the bathroom. Wait, no, sorry – I wish that’s how the night ended. But after Joey leaves, the night actually ends with Audrey going home with CJ, who just minutes before rejected a kiss from Jen and told her he’s not ready to date. Ugh, CJ suuuuucks and Audrey is in far too bad of a place to be making decisions like this. She’s no longer drunk by the time they have sex, but she’s clearly damaged and vulnerable, and it’s truly awful that CJ takes advantage of her like that. But, hey, at least Joey and Eddie make up and decide to go on a real date! (Kidding, nobody cares about that.)
Other stuff that happened in this episode:
* David and Jack are really hitting it off, and they make a date for the Hell’s Belles show. But that day, Professor Freeman tells his class he’s moving and invites them to a book signing as his farewell – and then makes a point to specifically tell Jack he’d like him to be there. Jack goes, and spends too much time at the book signing, keeping David waiting. Jack even gets close to kissing Professor Freeman, who told him he’s left his (pregnant!) wife – but then Jack realizes he’d rather be with good, simple, drama-free David. He makes it to Hell’s Kitchen just as David’s leaving, and David is so cool and mature about Jack’s baggage. Jack apologizes and promises to make it up to him, and they walk off holding hands. Yay!
* Ugh. So Pacey’s slimy boss Rich Rinaldi invites his team on a trip to New Orleans, where they all embark in a DISGUSTING competition to see who can get laid the most. Pacey’s striking out until a woman seems interested, but right as they’re about to have sex, she reveals that she’s a sex worker employed by Rinaldi. Pacey picks a fight with Rinaldi and this whole thing is so gross and embarrassing. Ugh ugh ugh.
How many times did I have to drink?
Best pop culture reference
Eddie says he and Joey have a “Sam and Diane” thing happening, and honestly, with the bar and the banter, he’s not far off.
The worst line I’ve ever heard
Rinaldi tells a woman “You have breasts that are begging to be touched,” and that reminds me that his face is begging to be punched.
No Doubt’s in town! And thanks to Dawson’s movie connections, he’s got tickets for everyone. It’s only moderately awkward because 1) Joey and Dawson still aren’t talking 2) Audrey and Pacey still aren’t talking 3) Audrey and Joey still aren’t talking 4) Eddie hates Audrey 5) Jen’s obsessed with CJ who’s obsessed with Audrey 6) Jen doesn’t know about CJ and Audrey. No big whoop, right? But hey, at least Jack and David are getting along great.
Joey and Eddie end up having the nicest time of all of them, probably. Joey forgot their tickets in another coat, the dummy, so Eddie gets them in because his dad’s the janitor at the venue! Joey and Eddie’s dad really hit it off, and it’s super cute. They bond and she tells Eddie about her own dad.
Dawson and Natasha end up having a pretty good time, too, as the other couple that can’t get into the concert, because their tickets are for the following night. Natasha tries to scheme her way in, and when that doesn’t work they start making out in the car and get busted for having sex in the parking lot. Todd has to pick them up from jail, and he is PISSED, but they’re all cute and giggly about it.
Jen’s doing her best to take care of Audrey through all of her recent trauma, and she convinces Audrey and Pacey to talk it out during the concert. They do, and it’s great, and it seems like they’re on their way toward reconciliation when STUPID CJ ruins it all. He’s been basically stalking Audrey since they hooked up, even though Audrey’s begging him to leave her alone and never tell anyone what happened, and he starts harassing Audrey just as she and Pacey are making up. Pacey and CJ end up getting into a fistfight, LIKE IDIOTS, and Jen finds out about CJ and Audrey and tells both of them off, albeit in a very calm, mature way. Poor Audrey was about to have ONE good night and CJ had to ruin it.
How many times did I have to drink?
Best pop culture reference
Jen and Audrey maintain that a No Doubt concert is the perfect place to reconcile with one’s ex.
Jen: So, you’re coming, right? I mean, if the band can overcome their complicated romantic entanglements and still be friends, the least that we can do is all get along for one night.
Audrey: All right, I am willing to grant that there is a certain karmic appropriateness to seeing one’s ex-boyfriend for the first time at a No Doubt concert.
The truest thing anybody said this week
Audrey, telling CJ that the fact that she had sex with him does NOT mean they’re meant to be. “Sometimes, guys just win the lottery. That’s it. It doesn’t mean anything.”
The least true thing anybody said this week
When Audrey asks Jen if Joey has ever made a mistake, Jen says, “Yeah, actually, the same one that you did. She dumped Pacey.” Actually, no, everyone knows that Pacey dumped Joey. Brutally! And Audrey certainly wasn’t wrong to dump Pacey after the way he was treating her. So, uh, both of those were fully Pacey’s fault. (I still love him.)
Most recognizable songs
No Doubt sings four or five songs, all of which you’d recognize.
When Pacey’s freaking out about CJ and Audrey, Emma tells him quite accurately, “She’s not your girlfriend anymore, mate.”
Hello, from 2002.
That’s it for this week! I have a question for you, readers: what’s your favorite musical cameo of all time? Mine is definitely The Bangles on Gilmore Girls, though I could certainly make an argument for Prince on New Girl.
Meet me here next Wednesday morning as we talk “Everything Put Together Falls Apart” and “Merry Mayhem”!