Drinks Taken: 15
Follow the whole rewatch here!
Last week, Meredith welcomed us to Season Two, a.k.a. the Best Season, though it doesn’t kick off on the best note for Felicity. So she does what any girl would do–she makes a fresh start with a new haircut!
Oh yeah, and she gives Ben a monumentally awesome speech about how he doesn’t deserve her. I’ll drink to that!
The Felicity Season Two Drinking Game Rules
Drink once every time:
Felicity is endearingly earnest.
Ben smiles sheepishly.
Noel is adorkable.
Elena is a better friend than anyone deserves.
Meghan is mean and it’s awesome.
Javier butchers a word or figure of speech.
Richard freaks out (in a good or bad way).
Drink twice every time:
Felicity stresses you out.
Felicity says, “Dear Sally.”
Sean invents something.
Javier refers to Ben as “Benjamin.”
Now let’s get to this
haircut episode, shall we?
2.3 “Ancient History”
We finally get to see Felicity’s new ‘do, and haters gonna hate but let’s be honest, anything looks good on Keri Russell. Of course, everyone has an opinion, from Meghan (“Wow bad”) to Burke (“You look hot”) to Carl (have we talked about Carl yet?) to Noel (who is SUCH A DICK ABOUT IT) to random people on the street, which leads to Felicity to remark, “People had these huge reactions to my haircut.” Um, major understatement (or foresight on the writers’ part?). That’s not the only change our girl is making–she’s also dropping pre-med!
Backing up a bit, we meet Ruby, a blonde sprite of a freshman in Kelvin Hall who needs advice on which classes to take. Felicity starts flipping through the course catalog (on paper!) and becomes enchanted by all of the art classes. She and Ruby end up taking the same drawing class together, along with Noel (ugh) and Bridgid, the girl who gave her number a pizza delivery number to Noel at the loft party (she is subsequently dubbed Pizza Girl). After being paired with Bridgid, Felicity learns that she’s gay but promises not to say anything so that Bridgid can break the news to Noel herself.
Richard (hi Richard!) is back as Noel’s wingman and immediately tries to convince him that Felicity is trying to turn Bridgid against him, though initially Noel refuses to believe that Felicity is capable of that (points earned). But when Felicity tries to civilly and diplomatically work to restore some semblance of friendship, Noel acts like a huge brat (points immediately taken back). He’s clearly still upset about what happened and asks her, “What is it about him? Or about me?” Felicity, in a MAJOR ACT OF HUMILITY, responds, “What if I told you that I made a huge mistake and that I never should have gone with Ben. Would that really make it any better?” To which Noel replies, “You’re just saying that because Ben broke your heart.” The cruel streak that Meredith pointed out last week is still on full display and I AM SO OVER YOU, NOEL. SO OVER. BEYOND OVER.
At least Felicity doesn’t have to deal with this on top of a mountain of pre-med homework. She’s clearly loving NOT being in lab, much to the disappointment of her lab partner. Elena feels abandoned and assumes that Felicity will come back to the medical fold, but eventually she realizes that Felicity is pursuing her dream, because Elena is The Best™. “I’m proud of you,” she tells Felicity. “You made a tough decision, and you’re sticking to it.” LOVE HER.
Meanwhile, Julie finds a new apartment and is all set to move out of the loft (hooray!) but it’s obvious that Sean doesn’t want her to leave, because he sabotages all of the interviews with potential roomies (including a professional chef! Sean, you are truly a prize idiot). In spite of the fact that Julie has written a song or two that involves Ben dying, she seems way more forgiving of him than Felicity and even offers some words of comfort (?) to him about his break-up with the latter: “Maybe you don’t actually get it over it. Maybe you just learn to live with it.” Please, Julie, stick to your folk songs and leave the wisdom to people who are actually, you know, wise.
Then, in a terrible turn of events, Julie’s apartment falls through (Sean, try not to look so excited) and she’s back at the loft, where their morning cereal ritual seems to indicate that everything is fine and cool and like, nothing has changed at all minus the whole Ben dumping Julie and then briefly dating Felicity thing. Okay then!
Back to Ruby, she’s on the hunt for a new computer, so Meghan tells her to call Noel, because Meghan is a Master Strategist. Noel blows Ruby off due to the Felicity connection, but later he apologies and they start talking computers like the adorkable nerds they are (drink). Once Ruby admits that she’s a Mac person, Noel is smitten and SURPRISE SURPRISE instantly forgives Felicity. At least the way he does it is sweet–she gets a rough critique in drawing class and he speaks up with a positive comment amidst the negative feedback (like, it’s way harsh, you guys. This art professor suuuuucks). Afterwards, they both apologize to each other (um, even though Felicity’s already done that like five times) and thankfully Noel seems to be returning to B.H. (Before Hannah) Noel. Felicity even suggests that they go somewhere and hang, but oh snap Noel has plans with Ruby. There’s a poignant moment when he looks at Felicity as if to ask, “Is this okay?” and she softly smiles in acceptance. Because she’s a smart, mature woman, Noel. That takes real effort, as Sally points out when she says, “The hardest part about moving forward is not looking back.”
How many times do I have to take a drink?
Team Ben Or Noel
Not today, show. Not today.
F*ck you, Art Professor
I hate her so much that I’m posting this photo just to point out how her big stupid hair accentuates her fivehead.
Y2K Nostalgia Moment
Bridgid rocks not one but two hair trends of the time.
First, the piecey look:
And far less egregious, the zigzag part:
Lynn, We Hardly Knew Ye
Lynn went from being Ben’s best friend in Season One to… never being mentioned again. Seems like the writers could’ve thrown that storyline a bone simply by having someone mention that he transferred to a different swim team or something?
Before she played Ruby, Amy Smart made a splash in everyone’s favorite life they don’t want, Varsity Blues.
2.4 “The Depths”
Meghan, with no small amount of enjoyment, tells Felicity that Julie is singing a song about her. “The only way people knew it was about you,” she says, with relish, “is that the song was called ‘Felicity.'” It’s clear that while Julie may have forgiven Ben, she’s harboring a grudge against Felicity like it’s an Olympic sport and she’s going for the gold.
On her way to meet up with Noel and Ruby at the Modern for a class assignment, Felicity gets on the subway, only to see Julie enter the same car. UGH. Felicity changes seats so she can sit next to Julie (instead of moving farther away–she’s a much better person than I am), but only gets monosyllabic responses from Julie, whom Felicity describes to Sally as “Singer of Evil Songs.” (Which isn’t even mean. Like I said, such a better person than me.) Unfortunately for both of them, the train comes to a halt… and doesn’t start moving again.
After about an hour has passed, their fellow passengers grow restless and actually start talking to each other. Initial panic turns to boredom, which then turns into curiosity about the very animated conversation that Felicity and Julie begin having about what happened with Ben. Suddenly, everyone gets invested in the drama, with passengers demanding that Julie play the song. She finally agrees, but then the episode cuts to commercial and we don’t get to hear it! RUDE. Then again, I already despise Julie enough as it is so that’s probably for the best. The song galvanizes one of the passengers, who’s a lawyer, into launching a mock trial and basically putting both women on the stand. He’s no Will Gardner, but he does nail it when he asks Julie, “So how is it that you could forgive [Ben] but not your supposed best friend?” I REST MY CASE.
An hour and a half later, there is zero order in the court and Julie and Felicity are getting cross examined like nobody’s business. I love this scene because it feels like the writers are using passengers to voice everything that fans were thinking and feeling at the time–I am so totally the guy that gives Julie shizz because she knew that Felicity had liked Ben for ages, but she still dated him. Julie admits that she had a ton of boyfriends in high school but no girl friends (shocker), and that Felicity was her first best friend. That does kinda make me soften a little bit, especially when Felicity confesses that before college, she didn’t really have any friends (boy or girl, bless her heart) either.
Finally, this old black dude, who’s been silent the entire time, stands up. “The way I see it,” he declares, “you two best friends were never best friends to begin with.” He points to the fact that they met when they both needed a bestie, but they never earned that BFF relationship. He’s a little too Magical Negro for my taste BUT I agree with the sentiment. Suddenly, the train starts to move again and this episode of Subway Law comes to a close. As people say their good-byes (how is everyone not rushing to go pee right now?!), Felicity suggests grabbing a cup of coffee, but Julie says no. AFTER ALL THAT. Ugh, can we add a rule to the drinking game so at least something positive can come out of Julie sucking?
Above ground, people are having a much better go of it. Noel and Ruby end up kind of on a date by default since Felicity never shows, and I gotta say, they are super duper cute together. Later, Ruby rushes over to Felicity’s room just to gush: “He’s like this nerdy graphic design type, but with a total stud body. That almost never happens.” TRUE DAT. She tells Felicity that they kissed, and while Ruby’s ignorance of Noelicity makes this a little awkward, it’s also incredibly sweet, especially because Felicity seems genuinely happy for her.
And THEN there’s Maggie, the Caterer. I hate this storyline so let’s just get this over quickly, shall we? Maggie comes into Dean & Deluca and demands a last minute order for brownies (is this how catering works? Just ordering food from other places?), and she’s terribly rude to Ben. When she comes back, she interrupts Ben’s break and then he gives her a speech about treating people as human beings, which is awesome except for the fact that it results in her asking him to come to a CD release party (for a pianist?) and they start looking reeeeeal cozy together. Gross.
The episode closes with Felicity finally ending up at the Modern, only to run into Julie. The latter admits that the song was mean, and she’s not going to play it anymore. I’m relieved for Felicity but… yeah, Julie still sucks.
How many times do I have to take a drink?
I say this only because Maggie and Ben make me want to vomit, and because it’s great to see B.H. Noel, especially a B.H. Noel who’s happily letting his nerd flag fly for a girl.
Greetings from Meghan
The “Hey there!” is for Felicity, and the “You’re weird” is for Carl. Lest you think that Meghan is happy to see Felicity, she isn’t–she’s just excited to tell her about Julie’s song.
Y2K Nostalgia Moment
– Remember CD release parties?
– Noel tells Ruby that he bought his G-shock watch from the internet. Ruby replies, “So wow, you’re like a real geek.”
– Not that a cell phone would’ve necessarily worked in the subway tunnels, but it’s funny to think about a time when you would just have to wait a while for a friend to show up and then, if he/she didn’t arrive, you would simply go about your day with absolutely no idea of what happened to your friend. That’s crazy.
Sean’s Big Idea
Smoothaise has arrived, y’all! Fun fact, Sean’s condiment could’ve been named:
So… I guess Smoothaise really was the best option.
When the train passengers are in panic mode about the subway delay, one of them talks about Mole People (which is a real community that I became intrigued with after this episode originally aired and then obsessed with after I read this book) and then whadayaknow, some Mole People walk by! And MEGAN IS ONE OF THEM. Because of course she is.
Earlier in the ep when Felicity sarcastically says that she loves living with Megan because, “this way I never have to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show,” she has no idea how much her point is about to be proven.
The best thing to come out of this episode? Julie’s song reminds Elena that in the third grade, a girl wrote a poem about her titled, “Stinky Girl.” And Elena still knows it by heart. (Why won’t anyone let her recite it?!!)
This poor gentleman who’s having to listen to Felicity and Julie bicker is played by Rockmond Dunbar, whom you may have seen in a whole slew of things–Sons of Anarchy, Prison Break, The Mentalist and now 9-1-1. Also, that is one badass name.
So, am I being too hard on Julie? Do y’all agree with the Subway Sage that they were never truly best friends, or do you think they’re simply besties torn apart by liking the same guy?
And are we cool with Noel again or does he still have some work to do?
Join me for a convo in the comments, then tune in next week when Meredith recaps “The Crash” (ugh, David) and “The Lovebug.”