About:
Gilmore Girls S1.E14 “That Damn Donna Reed”
Gilmore Girls S1.E15 “Christopher Returns”
Drinks Taken: 30
Cups of Coffee: 8
It’s Week 5 of our Rewatch Project, and I have to be honest with you guys: I am having the time of my life. Thank you so much for joining me on this nerdy endeavor! I’m feeling good about it because as great as this has been already, this show is only getting better, so let’s dive in!
But first! A reminder of our drinking game rules:
The Gilmore Girls Drinking Game Rules
Drink once every time:
Lorelai or Rory drinks coffee.
Emily gets flustered by Lorelai’s bizarre sense of humor.
Sookie is controlling about food.
Paris is controlling about anything.
Michel snubs a customer.
Luke is crotchety.
Taylor has an absurd scheme for Stars Hollow.
The girls acquire massive amounts of food and then fail to take even one bite.
Drink twice every time:
Kirk has a new job.
You see a town troubadour.
You see a moment from the credits.
Mrs. Kim says “We appreciate your business.”
On to the episodes!
1.13 “Concert Interruptus”
Sookie nabbed four tickets to The Bangles, and she wants to bring Lorelai (a dyed-in-the-wool Bangles fanatic), Rory and Lane, because she is the sweetest. However, Mrs. Kim is unsurprisingly unyielding when she hears that Lane has been invited to a concert in the big city. Meanwhile, Rory’s working on a debate project with Paris, Madeline and Louise, and they’re all getting along fairly well. Lorelai convinces Rory to give the other three ninth row aisle seats to the girls while she and Sookie sit in the nosebleed section, because she is also the sweetest. Paris and Rory are having a great time until Madeline and Louise take off with a couple of boys they just met (including erstwhile Superman Brandon Routh!) to go party at a strange apartment, because these girls ARE IDIOTS. Lorelai tracks them down, tells everyone at the party off and is generally awesome. But the most important takeaway here: Paris and Rory bond!
Also, Lorelai’s organized a city-wide rummage sale to raise money to fix a bridge, and their house is a disaster. Luke brings over some items, including a tie-dyed, bedazzled hoodie that is just Lorelai’s style (meaning, ugly), and he freaks when he sees her wearing it. Turns out it belongs to his fabulous, adventurous ex-girlfriend Rachel, the woman who broke his heart. Lorelai is shocked – and not a little jealous – to learn of this Rachel, even though she has no intention of admitting it when Sookie points it out. She and Luke share a nice moment when she returns the hoodie and tells him to hang on to it for memory’s sake.
How many times do I have to drink?
9.
How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?
2.
Flirtation quota
ChaMM gets caught staring at the back of Rory’s head in class, to Rory’s (and Paris’) chagrin. When Lorelai returns the hoodie, she and Luke make some goo-goo eyes at each other, but all in all, not much a week for flirting.
Best/most dated pop culture reference
They’re at a Bangles concert, you guys.
Sookie’s best dish of the episode
She’s too busy procuring amazing seats and then generously giving them up to cook this week.
Lorelai’s craziest outfit
Here she is in Rachel’s hoodie and a fuzzy leopard-print cowboy hat she also found at the rummage sale. Don’t worry, Rory scolds her duly.
Kirk insanity
No Kirk, but in his stead we get a good dose of Taylor’s fastidiousness and Miss Patty’s showbiz past this week.
Best Gilmore Gal witticism
Paris decides to let Rory split the debate time with her after they bond at the concert. Rory, explaining to Lorelai why that’s a big deal: “Splitting debate time with Paris is like doing that whole ‘spitting in your palm and shaking hands’ friendship oath thing.”
Random observation
A couple of things – Rory matter-of-factly tells the debate team that Lorelai’s her best friend, and my heart melts. Also, this lady is my hero:
That’s my new forever gif.
1.14 “That Damn Donna Reed”
Dean comes over for movie night and finds the girls hate-watching The Donna Reed Show.
While they make fun of Donna’s Stepford Wifeliness, Dean mentions that he thinks it’s nice that she cooks dinner for her family. Rory and Lorelai are aghast, and Rory and Dean actually get into a stupid argument about it the next day. Rory’s staying the night at Morey and Babette’s to babysit their new kitten Apricot, and to make up, she invites Dean over. See, she’s done some reading, and it turns out Donna Reed was actually one of the first female television executives and not a sadsack at all. So she dresses up, makes steak, potatoes, and lime fantasy supreme, and puts on a whole cute little show. When Lorelai gets a load of Rory’s new look, she of course teases her mercilessly.
Meanwhile, Lorelai’s been spending a lot of time at Luke’s lately (I mean, more than usual). She decides he needs to paint the diner, and though he’s said no every time Taylor’s made the same suggestion, he says yes to Lorelai. (As he says about Lorelai last week: “She’s not real good with no.”) She comes over with paint samples and they drink beer and flirt, and Luke talks wistfully about his dad, and the whole thing is MY FAVORITE SCENE EVER. She goes home and realizes she’s misplaced the baby chick Rory’s studying for class, and invites Luke over to help her find it. Luke believes that Lorelai’s inviting him over for other, sexier reasons, but nope, she really just wants him to find a baby chick. The next day when Sookie hears the story, she agrees that it sounds like Lorelai wanted some sexy time with Luke, and Lorelai is just vehemently defensive enough to confirm Sookie’s suspicions.
That night at Friday night dinner, Emily hears yet another story about Luke and demands to know what’s going on with the two of them. Under duress, Lorelai admits that she may have feelings for Luke, and Emily seems pleased to finally be in the loop. But as she walks off, she adds, “Now we can discuss what on earth you could possibly be thinking.”
Oh and – at the end of the episode, a man on a motorcycle zooms up, tells Lorelai to take off her shirt, removes his helmet and reveals himself to be Christopher, Rory’s dad! Rory’s thrilled; Lorelai is not.
How many times do I have to drink?
12.
How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?
1.
Flirtation quota
So much amazing flirting this episode! When Rory and Dean make up, they make up super cutely, but Luke and Lorelai take the real prize this week. I mean, just look at this. SWOON.
Best/most dated pop culture reference
Lane’s entire illicit, under-floorboard CD collection, while surely cutting edge at the time, is hella, hella dated. (Hello, Bush.)
Sookie’s best dish of the episode
She makes a three egg omelette with goat cheese and pancetta cooked in a sherry olive oil – mostly to taunt Michel, who just wants to watch his girlish figure, dammit.
Lorelai’s craziest outfit
This shirt sucks.
Kirk insanity
Taylor is so shocked that Luke’s actually painting his diner that he brings in Kirk and has Luke settle their bet. It’s not all that insane, but we take what we can get in Season One.
Best Gilmore Gal witticism
I love this whole exchange during The Donna Reed Show:
Dean: “She looks really happy.”
Lorelai: “She’s medicated.”
Rory: “And acting from a script.”
Lorelai: “Written by a man.”
Rory: “Well said, sister suffragist.”
Random observation
We see our Stars Hollow troubadour (Grant-Lee Phillips) for the first time!! Drink twice.
1.15 “Christopher Returns”
Yep, Christopher’s back – for the moment, anyway. He crashes on Lorelai’s couch for a week, because his business is ostensibly going well and he decides he wants to be a part of Rory’s life…finally. Rory’s thrilled, Richard and Emily are thrilled, Lorelai’s skeptical but growing cautiously optimistic, and Luke? Luke is trying hard to play it cool and failing:
Christopher takes Rory to the bookstore and tries to buy her dream book (this hit so close to home – after my parents got a divorce, my dad and I would bond the exact same way – he’d take me to bookstores and let me pick out what I wanted), the Compact Oxford English Dictionary, but his credit card’s declined. Turns out his business isn’t doing so well, but hey, at least he’s trying sort of hard!
They all go to Friday night dinner together, and Emily invites Christopher’s parents, who are dicks. Well, mostly Christopher’s dad Straub, who insults Rory and Lorelai and clearly blames them for derailing his son’s future. Richard yells at Straub and kicks them out, and Emily has a really sweet conversation with Rory, telling her how glad they all are that she was born (despite indications to the contrary, poor Rory). Lorelai tries to thank Richard for defending her, and he gets very angry with her for all of the old wounds – we learn that Emily couldn’t get out of bed for a month after Lorelai ran away.
Lorelai hides out on the balcony, crying, and Christopher meets her there with a bottle of Cuervo – and they do it! Oh, Lorelai. And it turns out that in all the excitement, she completely forgets that she had a paint date with Luke. She rushes over there in her PJs the next morning to apologize, and he interprets that she stood him up because of Christopher. He lets her off the hook, but it looks like their chance for a relationship has been forestalled – but she does paint the diner for him, and at least they’re friends again.
OH YEAH – and Christopher proposes to Lorelai because he’s crazy (and crazy in love with her, to be fair), and she basically laughs him right out of town, but nicely, and with a sweet goodbye kiss. She tells Rory everything, which I love, and Gilmore Girls gets a little deeper and more complex as we start to see what a fully-realized history this family has. “Christopher Returns” is such a great episode.
How many times do I have to drink?
9.
How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?
5.
Flirtation quota
Lorelai and Luke flirt a bit before she stands him up, and Lorelai and Christopher’s entire dynamic is so casually flirty. Plus, you know, they had sex, but I don’t know if that counts as flirting.
Best/most dated pop culture reference
All of the townies are wigging over Christopher’s arrival (Jackson, Andrew, Miss Patty who of course hits on him), and they’re all trying to decide who he looks most like: Brad Pitt, Billy Crudup or George Clooney. They settle on Billy Crudup, which is stupid because of those three, he looks most like Brad Pitt. Although, as Lorelai tells him with no hesitation, Christopher doesn’t really look like any of them.
Sookie’s best dish of the episode
She hands Lorelai fresh-baked biscotti for her coffee. I want a Sookie!
Lorelai’s craziest outfit
She rushes over to Luke’s in her pajamas and fleece-lined jacket. Too little, too late, girlfriend.
Kirk insanity
He’s at Dean and Luke’s softball game heckling them like a boss – until Luke finally comes after him, and Kirk “gets a page” and wuss-runs away.
Best Gilmore Gal witticism
When a nervous Rory curtsies to Straub and Francine – her grandparents that she’s meeting for the first time – Lorelai: “Did you just curtsy?” Rory: “Shut up.” Lorelai: “Sorry, m’lady.”
Random observation
Lorelai and Christopher have such an interesting relationship – it’s unlike anything else you’d see on TV, but it feels authentic. It really does feel as if they’ve known each other for decades. “This man knows all of my secrets,” Lorelai says to Sookie, and we have no trouble believing her. The easy way they talk to each other, their oblique references to past misdeeds, their hilarious Offspring/Metallica argument – these guys have history. They don’t hate each other – they really like each other, actually – but Lorelai has to be protective of Rory, and she knows how unreliable Christopher is. Still and always Team Luke, but I like Christopher, and I like his friendship with Lorelai.
Next week we’ve got “Star-Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers,” “The Breakup: Part 2” and “The Third Lorelai,” so things are about to get intense. Meet us here next Wednesday morning for the scoop!
And I leave you with a question, dear FYA readers: how do you feel about Christopher? You’ve read my take, now give me yours downstairs!
