Title: Gilmore Girls S5.E07 “You Jump, I Jump, Jack”
Gilmore Girls S5.E08 “The Party’s Over”
Released: 2004
Series:  Gilmore Girls

Drinks Taken: 21
Cups of Coffee: 3

Last week, on Gilmore Girls

Well actually, it was a couple of weeks ago, as we took a brief holiday hiatus here at the Gilmore Girls Rewatch Project. I, for one, am glad to be back! I missed these witty broads something fierce. And I missed YOU, my fellow Gilmore pals!

So let’s get to it, but first! A reminder of our drinking game rules:

Emily, Lorelai, and Rory Gilmore all with drinks in their hands

The Gilmore Girls Drinking Game Rules

Drink once every time:

Lorelai or Rory drinks coffee.
Emily gets flustered by Lorelai’s bizarre sense of humor.
Sookie is controlling about food.
Paris is controlling about anything.
Michel snubs a customer.
Luke is crotchety.
Taylor has an absurd scheme for Stars Hollow.
The girls acquire massive amounts of food and then fail to take even one bite.

Drink twice every time:

Kirk has a new job.
You see a town troubadour.
Emily gets a new maid. 

Onto the episodes!

5.7 “You Jump, I Jump, Jack”

Rory’s deeply immersed in her story on the Life and Death Brigade as Logan and company blindfold her and take her into the middle of the woods for a fancy, white-tented and candlelit party. It’s worth nothing that she misses a date with Dean to attend this shindig, although she maintains (and probably believes) it’s just because of her commitment to the scoop. Of course, we all know that she has a gigantic crush on Logan, but she doesn’t appear to realize it yet. After a night of debauchery in which Rory casually observes rather than participates, Logan convinces her to join him for the big Life and Death stunt – jumping from a seven-story scaffolding with little more than a harness and an umbrella to protect her. At first Rory demurs, but Logan’s charm – and his insistence that she needs to live in order to write – sways her. In a nice little metaphor moment, Rory drops her reporter’s notebook and climbs the scaffolding ladder.

And…I actually think it’s pretty great. Here’s the thing: the Life and Death Brigade is stupid. Logan’s friends are obnoxious elitists, and Rory will get into all sorts of trouble with them. But Logan does convince Rory to live, to take risks, to be adventurous, and that is important if she’s going to be a journalist. She’s good for him, certainly, but in many ways I think Logan’s good for her, too. Lord knows Dean isn’t exactly a boundary-breaker.

In Lorelai land, Emily and Richard have learned that she and Luke are dating, and they approach it in disparate but equally despicable ways. How have these two not reunited when they’re clearly so snobbily, diabolically perfect for each other? Emily invites Luke to dinner and begins to tear him down in that discreet, polite way she has. She manages to insult his business, his divorce, his truck, his appearance, his education and his choice of beverage (beer) in a few short hours – all without ever breaking decorum. Lorelai tries to protect him, but Luke won’t let her – he wants to take care of this himself. Then Richard invites him to golf, forces him to buy a set of clubs he’ll never use again, gets him drunk and shanghais him with plans for a diner franchise, an art dealership and a straight razor shave. Luke is stymied, and Lorelai is MAD – but they’re in it together, and it’s cute. Emily just wants to get rid of Luke, but Richard seems to understand that he’s here to stay, so he’s trying to groom him into an appropriate partner for Lorelai. I’ve got news for you, Dick: he’s already the perfect partner for Lorelai.

Finally, Zack approaches Lane at the diner and tells her, “I’m ready to date now.” Their first date is on their couch, finishing the Talking Heads film they started the night before, as Brian dozes off in Lane’s room to give them privacy. It’s pretty adorable, to be honest. Zack then walks Lane to her bedroom door, slings a comatose Brian over his shoulder, and gives her a lovely kiss goodnight over Brian’s corpse. Oh man. These two are happy, and I’m happy too. This first date gives us a glimpse of the weirdness that will be their relationship, but in its own way, it’s kind of exactly right.

How many times do I have to drink?

Only 6!

How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?


Flirtation quota

Rory and Logan are making all sorts of eyes at each other, even if they’re trying to play it cool – but one girl in the Brigade picks up on it, as she tells Rory, “There’s a line.” Zack and Lane are just killing me with their sweetness this week, but I think my favorite moment is Luke’s casual acceptance of the dreaded dinner with Emily. “Meeting the parents comes with the territory.” Remember how he acted when he had to meet Nicole’s parents? It just proves that these two are in it for the long haul, and that warms my heart.

Best/most dated pop culture reference

As Rory and Doyle pedeconference through the newsroom, discussing her story – and she refuses to reveal her source – Doyle takes a moment to geek, “I love this. We just had a very All the President’s Men moment!” Rory agrees with relish. You precious nerds.

Sookie’s best dish of the episode

No Sookie this week, so let’s take a moment to gawk at the insane feast the Brigade put together for this little party. These kids have too much money. Also, I wanna go.

Lorelai’s craziest outfit

There were a lot of hideous tops to choose from in this episode, but this guy takes the cake.

Outfit MVP

How can I choose anything else? The fact that Logan bought it for her, after eyeballing her size, is a bonus.

Kirk insanity/Michel madness

Allow me to quote Emily Gilmore here: “I called the inn looking for you, and Michel answered, but he was in the middle of some argument with the horse veterinarian. Then there was a cracking sound and the phone went dead. Then there was another man’s voice saying ‘hello.’ [This was Bob, the gardener.] He told me something in a heavy Spanish accent, all while Michel was yelling at the vet in French. Then Kirk came on. He was there delivering something. And when I told him I was looking for you, he said you were probably at your boyfriend Luke Danes’ house. Now why were you hiding it from me?”

Best Gilmore Gal witticism

A Gilmore Guy gets the honor! When Luke’s trying to remember the name of Philip K. Dick, the author of the last book he read, he says, “That Dick guy, science fiction guy, Dick something, something Dick… I just read one of his.” Richard, drily: “Well, I’ll bring ‘Dick’ up on the internet, see what comes up.” Don’t do it, Richard!

Random observation

You know, after Lorelai hid her relationship with Digger from her parents, you’d think they’d take a look at their own actions to try to understand why she’d keep something like that from them. Maybe they’d realize how inhospitable they’ve been to her past boyfriends? But nope! Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, Gilmores gotta interfere!

5.8 “The Party’s Over”

Richard And Emily Team Up To Take Down The Inferior Boyfriends Of Their Daughter And Granddaughter, Part Two. This time it’s poor Dean under the microscope; after hearing that Rory’s back with him, they decide to work together to throw a Yale alumni party. Of course, they only invite the Yale alumni who have sons – no daughters – and once Rory arrives, Emily rushes her upstairs where her hairdresser and makeup artist are waiting. Then Emily drapes Rory in diamonds and sends her downstairs to the meat market. Rory does look GORGEOUS, and all of the stuffy Yale fellas seem interested, but of course she’s bored out of her mind – until Logan and The Idiots arrive.

I really, really hate all of Logan’s friends, but I feel a little thrill as Logan pretends to be her boyfriend to get rid of some scrub. They then head out to the poolhouse for a sub-party, and Rory partakes of more than a little champagne, sitting pretty and surrounded by fellas like Scarlett O’Hara at the Wilkes’ barbecue – until she remembers that she told Dean to pick her up fifteen minutes ago. He’s been waiting in the driveway, and as she walks outside, laughing with the guys and looking like the prettiest debutante, it dawns on him: he doesn’t belong here. He breaks up with her in front of everyone, which would bother me except that Rory barely seems to care, a couple of obligatory tears aside. Maybe because earlier in the week she and Dean shared the saddest lunch ever in the stockroom at Doose’s, and maybe because when she asked him for feedback on her Brigade article he was only able to mutter “It was good,” while Logan had lots of positive, specific and canny thoughts on the piece. Say what you will about Logan (and his friends – especially his godawful friends) – but he’s brilliant. Anyway, bye Dean! Go be Sam Winchester, whom I like somewhat better!

Liz and TJ are back in town, and the less said about that, the better. Well, Liz is thrilled that Luke and Lorelai are together, and I like that and I like her, but UGH TJ. They buy a house in Stars Hollow for the Renaissance Festival hiatus months, and he keeps saying the word “escrow” like “escArow” and I can’t quite take it. Luke has Lorelai over to make her a super-fancy, multi-course dinner, and he’s lit candles and bought wine and it’s SO HOT AND ROMANTIC AND I LOVE HIM. Then stupid nightmare TJ shows up after a fight with Liz and yells and cries and ruins everything. HOWEVER, Lorelai and Luke are still incredibly hot and flirty. Not even a crying TJ can throw cold water on these two!

After the date Lorelai heads back to her house and calls her parents to give them a hard time about the meat market party, telling them, “Rory will choose her own path in life and there’s nothing either one of you can do about it.” At that moment, she hears a noise and looks out the window, as a champagne-drunk Rory, complete with tilted tiara and messy bun, stumbles, giggling, out of a limo filled with rich white boys – and Lorelai’s face falls as she realizes that Rory might be choosing a path that she never expected.

Finally, things are going swimmingly with Zack and Lane, and they both seem on Cloud 9 about it. When Mrs. Kim’s foreign exchange student Kyon sees them hugging at Luke’s – she’s there because Lane’s smuggling her fries, since it’s flaxseed muffin month at the Kim household – she spills the beans to Mrs. Kim. Mrs. Kim responds by cornering Zack on the street and giving him the most hilarious rant ever, calling him a wild pig of filth and cursing him to the following: “You will swim in the sludge with Satan’s hell-dogs, and feed them your innards for eternity!” IT IS AWESOME.

How many times do I have to drink?


How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?


Flirtation quota

Logan and Rory really ratchet up the flirting this week, and they’re both looking pretty fine for this soiree. But Lorelai and Luke are crushing this category, with the eyes, and the kissing, and the COOKING, and the eyes.

Best/most dated pop culture reference

par exemple: Lorelai tells Luke he’s the perfect man when she sees the feast he’s prepared for her, and then in response to his artichoke soup, she says, “You know, it may have choked Artie, but it ain’t going to choke me. Some Little Rascals humor there for ya.” Luke: “I know.” Lorelai: “You know? You are the perfect man.” Amen, sister!

Sookie’s best dish of the episode

No Sooks again this week, more’s the pity, but Luke’s got this category covered in spades: “Lamb and artichoke stew, penne with pesto and potatoes, roasted garlic with rosemary focaccia, tomatoes stuffed with bread crumbs and goat cheese, and ricotta cheesecake with amaretto cookies to go with your coffee.” HOLY CRAP. My pants have melted clean off.

Lorelai’s craziest outfit

She shows up to Luke’s wearing this silliness because, “This is as close as you’re going to get to me cleaning up tonight.”

Outfit MVP

She may be turning into a shiftless trust fund layabout, but she’s doing it with style.

Kirk insanity/Michel madness


Best Gilmore Gal witticism

After hearing that she’s off the hook for Friday night dinner due to the party, Lorelai: “Wow, Friday night without my mother! I don’t know if I can deal. You might have to come over and force-feed me pickled herring and tell me what a disappointment I am.”

Random observation

I think this officially marks the beginning of Rory’s Dark Period, her age of becoming someone we don’t quite recognize – and worse, someone completely alien to Lorelai. Most fans seem to hate this arc, and while I don’t like Rory’s choices, I like the show‘s choices. Most people go through a messy transition at college, when we kick off the shackles of childhood and try on a bunch of new personalities before growing into the person we will ultimately be for the rest of our lives. It was brave of Gilmore Girls to let their darling, naive nerd make huge mistakes and unseemly choices for a couple of seasons – but I don’t, nor will I ever, blame Logan. He may be the impetus, but he’s not the cause. Rory’s her own person, and she makes her own choices here.

That’s it for this week! Meet us back here next Wednesday morning as we cover “Emily Says Hello” and “But Not As Cute As Pushkin.”

And I leave you with a question, dear FYA readers: am I alone in appreciating Amy Sherman-Palladino’s chutzpah in sending Rory down this dark path? Anyone else go through a split personality phase in college, or was that just me and Rory?

Meredith Borders is formerly the Texas-based editor of Fangoria and Birth.Movies.Death., now living and writing (and reading) in Germany. She’s been known to pop by Forever Young Adult since its inception, and she loves YA TV most ardently.