Title: Gilmore Girls S7.E15 “I’m a Kayak, Hear Me Roar”
Gilmore Girls S7.E16 “Will You Be My Lorelai Gilmore?”
Released: 2007
Series:  Gilmore Girls

Drinks Taken: 16
Cups of Coffee: 5

Last week, on Gilmore Girls

Welcome back to the Gilmore Girls Rewatch Project! I’m really loving this run of episodes – it just feels like everything’s falling back into place, to where it should be. The latter half of Season 7 is just comfortable and easy, a gentle way of easing us into the final few episodes of this wonderful show. 

So let’s dive in, but first! A reminder of our drinking game rules. 

Emily, Lorelai, and Rory Gilmore all with drinks in their hands

The Gilmore Girls Drinking Game Rules

Drink once every time:

Lorelai or Rory drinks coffee.
Emily gets flustered by Lorelai’s bizarre sense of humor.
Sookie is controlling about food.
Paris is controlling about anything.
Michel snubs a customer.
Luke is crotchety.
Taylor has an absurd scheme for Stars Hollow.
The girls acquire massive amounts of food and then fail to take even one bite.

Drink twice every time:

Kirk has a new job.
You see a town troubadour.
Emily gets a new maid. 

On to the episodes!

7.15 “I’m a Kayak, Hear Me Roar”

The episode opens with Lorelai driving to Rory’s apartment at 6am – finding a suddenly very peaceful Paris, who’s taken up yoga with Doyle – and taking Rory for a drive in order to tell her that she and Chris have broken up. Rory’s so kind to Lorelai here, making sure she’s okay and then saying very gently, “First of all, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. And secondly… I guess I’m thinking that I’m not totally surprised. I mean, at first, I was so excited that you guys were getting together because it seemed like something that was meant to be. Something that was like destiny. But then, I guess to me, it kind of never felt right. I’m so sorry.” It’s such a great conversation, showing how much Rory has grown up and how protective she is of her mom during such a tough period in Lorelai’s life, but also how strong and mature Lorelai has become, because she’s handling a broken engagement and broken marriage in less than a year with more aplomb then most people could muster. Then, suddenly, the Jeep dies and they realize they’re out of gas, so the two girls take a walk down a country road in the early morning sunlight, and it’s nice. It’s just nice.

Meanwhile, Richard is home from the hospital, and homeboy is GRUMPY. He’s tired of fish, he’s tired of convalescing, he’s tired of wearing real clothes (he’s decided to wear a robe day in and day out, to Emily’s horror) and he’s tired of poor Emily, who’s doing everything she can to keep him happy and the house in order – despite a nurse who very firmly refuses to do anything outside her official duties as a healthcare professional, which I totally respect but you can be sure Emily does NOT. She’s losing her mind with the stress, so Lorelai comes over and helps out. She brings Richard’s medicine refills and a can-do spirit, helping Emily with the household chores and teaching her how to use a computer so Emily can take care of some of Richard’s tax forms for him. Emily, who’s kept the household dry out of respect for Richard’s heart, reveals a secret stash of booze as they work in his office together.

Lorelai utilizes a little of that liquid courage to ‘fess up to Emily that she and Christopher are over. Emily, at Lorelai’s request, lets this pass without comment, but after a few drinks she delivers one of the most encouraging, supportive speeches Lorelai has ever received from her mother in her life. It’s wonderful to behold:

She also tells Lorelai:

Emily: “You know, the way I was raised, if a married couple split up, it was a disaster, because it meant the system had fallen apart, and it was particularly bad for the woman because she had to go out and find herself another rich husband, only she was older now. But with you, it’s not such a disaster, is it? I mean, it’s really not such a horrible thing that you’re going to get a divorce, not really. Oh, you’re gonna be fine.”

And then she rubs Lorelai’s shoulder reassuringly, and Lorelai looks like she’s about to cry as she thanks her. It’s SUCH a great moment – of course, Emily tries to ruin it the next morning, hungover and embarrassed by her show of emotion and giving Lorelai crap about all of the work it’s going to be to cancel the party she was planning for Lorelai and Chris, but Lorelai removes herself from the conversation before that escalates. And I can’t imagine she isn’t still touched by Emily’s speech of the night before, even if Emily’s trying to pretend it didn’t happen. 

It’s Logan’s birthday, and after learning that the Huntzbergers were never much for birthday celebrations, Rory goes all out to plan about a hundred different birthday surprises for him. Her plans get a little derailed when Mitchum invites them both to dinner, but he’s very civil throughout the evening, and Logan seems pleased. When Logan goes to the bathroom, Mitchum springs this weird little speech on Rory about how she’s part of the team now and it’s all because of her that Logan’s done so well lately, and Rory stands up for Logan, refusing to take credit for his success. When Mitchum tells her she can take her pick of any of the Huntzberger newspapers for a job, Rory is so great when she replies coolly, “I seem to remember you saying that I didn’t have it.” Mitchum laughs that off and then toasts Rory “to being on the same page,” and she feels sleazy about it afterward so she confides in Logan, who just tells her that’s what Mitchum does and it’s no big deal. So everything is still great with them, and they’re about to take off for Logan’s birthday ice skating trip when he gets a call from his partner – the deal he’s been working on, in which he’s invested all of his money and a bunch of other people’s, is a total bust. A patent infringement lawsuit has lost them millions of dollars. He leaves for the skating rink with Rory still in the dark. 

Finally, Liz, TJ and Doula have shown up at the diner to stay with Luke for a while since they have moths. They’re annoying and pushy and take over his entire life, of course, but Newly Sweet Luke is barely crotchety about it. At night, he’s lying on the couch as he overhears Liz and TJ talking about him and Lorelai – Liz is pulling for them to get back together, now that Lorelai’s single again, but TJ quotes Liz’s space-time continuum thing from the premiere, saying that he agreed with her then, that Lorelai and Luke are just in two different dimensions. Liz says “it’s all about the wormholes” between dimensions. “You just have to find the right wormhole.” Luke looks thoughtful and sad as he stares up at the ceiling. 

How many times do I have to drink?


How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?


Flirtation quota:

Rory and Logan are just so crazy about each other. I love it. 

Best/most dated pop culture reference

Lorelai to Rory, on why she told the Quickie Mart guy about her divorce: “I was upset. I was standing by the magazines. I didn’t want him to think I was verklempt over Nicole Richie.”

Sookie’s best dish of the episode

She makes a whole bunch of healthy, delicious food for Richard, and while we don’t hear the specifics, we are privy to this one great exchange.

Lorelai: “Mmm, that looks unhealthy.”

Sookie: “Thank you!”

Lorelai’s craziest outfit

It’s not crazy, per se, but I’m not crazy about this shapeless sack of a dress. 

Outfit MVP

It’s hard to get a good pic, but Rory looks like such a knockout for Logan’s birthday dinner. 

Kirk insanity

He overhears Miss Patty and Babette gossiping about Luke and Lorelai in the diner, both of them dying for those two crazy kids to work it out (me too, girls), but giving animal code names to Luke (rooster), Lorelai (hen) and Chris (beagle) – plus any potential suitors for Lorelai (ostrich).

Kirk: “I’m sorry, but I can’t in good conscience let this perverse conversation continue. Are you insinuating that a hen could mate with an ostrich? Because even ignoring the question of biological feasibility, it’s completely morally reprehensible. How do you expect her to lay those eggs? Have you thought about that, have you?”

Michel madness


Best Gilmore Gal witticism

Rory, urging Lorelai to tell Emily about the breakup before Emily goes too far in planning their party: “She’s going to kill 400 Cornish game hens – probably with her own bare hands…Only you can save the Cornish game hens. Save the Cornish game hens!”

Random observation

I just like that Miss Patty and Babette and Liz – and probably everyone else in Stars Hollow – are all rooting for Luke and Lorelai to get back together. I just think that’s sweet. 

7.16 “Will You Be My Lorelai Gilmore?”

Rory’s new goal is to score this Reston Fellowship, and it’s quite a long shot. So in pursuit of this goal, she secures a coffee appointment with an editor at the New York Times, and she’s thrilled and nervous, naturally. The timing’s not great because she’s in the middle of preparing a blowout baby shower for Lane, so Lorelai promises to take care of everything while Rory stays the night at Logan’s place in New York. Logan’s been acting erratic – staying out late drinking, not calling her – since getting the news that he’s now basically broke and his career’s practically ruined (I say “basically” and “practically” because it’s hard to tell how much of this is Logan’s innate self-loathing and how much is legit), and he still hasn’t told the news to Rory. She heads to her coffee appointment – which goes great, naturally – and comes back to pick him up for the baby shower, and he finally spills the beans. She’s so supportive, so sympathetic and encouraging, and he appreciates it – but he still tells her he’s leaving to go party in Vegas with those idiots Colin and Finn, like the Logan Of Yore. Rory’s disappointed in this backslide, but leaves for the shower without much comment. 

Lorelai’s been busting her ass to ensure everything’s perfect for the shower in Rory’s absence, even moderating a giant fight between Lane and Mrs. Kim about how the twins will be raised – with punk rock and fried shrimp or church services and bean sprouts. She gets them to compromise on the particulars so they can make up, and THEN Lane has an early contraction and is put on bed rest. So at the very last minute, Lorelai moves the entire party (which was already decorated at her house) to Miss Patty’s studio, and then Team Lane wheels her giant bed down the street into the studio so she can still attend her own party! It’s a GREAT party – everyone in town is there, making onesies and listening to Hep Alien jam to “Hush Little Baby.” Rory and Lane are so sweet together – particularly when Lane tells Rory: “You didn’t hear about the fight? Me and my mom, classic Kim family grudgefest? If not for your mom, we might have gone the way of Pretty Girls Make Graves. They were so young and had so many killer albums left in them.” Rory: “So my mom brokered peace?” Lane: “Hard-core. Listen, here’s the thing. My kids are gonna need that, too – you know, when they’re hiding bibles and they can’t stand me. So what I wanted to know is… would you be their Lorelai Gilmore? I guess that’s the proper term.” Rory’s so touched (so am I!), and Lane points out: “I can’t think of anyone who would be better. Plus, you already have the name.” LOVE IT. And then Mrs. Kim thanks Lorelai with John Adams’ doorknob! (Dirty!)

Meanwhile, Liz and TJ are tired of storing Luke’s dad’s boat in their garage, so they try to convince him to sell it. He, unsurprisingly, doesn’t budge at first – until Liz tells him that she doesn’t want him to end up like their dad. “He was stuck, Luke. He was stuck doing the same thing at the same time the same way every day of his life.” Luke stubbornly disagrees, until April later innocently says something similar about Luke, and then he decides to make a change in his life. He sells his boat (to Kirk, naturally) and buys a new one! In one day! When he tells Lorelai about it outside of the baby shower, she is duly impressed. 

Lorelai: “You just bought a boat?”

Luke: “Yeah, and it’s even bigger and better than the old one. I mean it’s got everything. It’s got a little kitchen, a bathroom, even a place to sleep.”

Lorelai: “Wow.”

Luke: “I’m just gonna keep it in the marina you know, and then when April comes to visit in the summer, I’ll take it out on little trips, you know, go away for a few weeks.”

Lorelai: “Luke, that sounds really nice.”

Luke: “Right?”

Lorelai: “God, I can’t believe you bought a boat in a day. It used to take you a week to buy a t-shirt.”

Luke: “Yeah, well, things change.”

They stare at each other meaningfully for a beat, until Luke heads inside to the party. Lorelai, much like Luke in the last ep, looks thoughtful. 

How many times do I have to drink?


How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?


Flirtation quota

It’s about sixty seconds of screentime, but that scene between Luke and Lorelai still has me all fluttery, days after watching it. 

Best/most dated pop culture reference

Super pregnant Sookie is sitting around reading months-old gossip mags, out of the loop as a busy, working mother of two and shocked to discover, months after the fact, that Brad and Angelina had their baby, that Britney drove a car with her toddler sitting on her lap, that she and K-Fed have gotten a divorce and especially that “it turns out he was kind of a stabilizing influence in her life.” That last one shocked us all, Sooks.

Sookie’s best dish of the episode

She’s serving up some guilt trips, still not letting Jackson off the hook for the vasectomy thing. (I mean, nor should she.)

Lorelai’s craziest outfit

This is a hat for children. Like, it’s even child-sized. 

Outfit MVP

I love the fancy suit she wears to meet the NYT editor. 

Kirk insanity

Well, he bought Luke’s boat! Also, April cracks me up with this: “We had to write a five-page fictional story featuring someone we know as the hero, and I chose Kirk. It’s hilarious.”

Michel madness


Best Gilmore Gal witticism

Rory: “God, I need to prepare. I mean he’s gonna expect me to ask him really intelligent questions.”

Lorelai: “Honey you’ve been asking intelligent questions since you were 3.”

Rory: “Yeah I know, he’s probably expecting something a little more sophisticated.”

Lorelai: “Than ‘what is a color?’ ‘Cause that one, like, blew my mind.”

Random observation

Some readers last week expressed frustration with how Luke’s character has been all over the place – he’s the best guy on earth, then he’s a total jerk in Season 6, and then he’s so sweet again, especially last week when Richard was in the hospital. But I think his arc actually makes a lot of sense. He’s always been a great guy, but he got complacent with Lorelai – and we know he’s never been good at long-term relationships. He took her for granted and he blew it, but then he lost Lorelai, and he nearly lost April – and he got her back with Lorelai’s help, even after the way he treated her. I think he’s making some big lifestyle changes now because he doesn’t want to be the guy who pushed away the best thing in his life anymore. This week’s storyline with his dad’s boat really supports that theory. 

That’s it for this week! Meet me back here next Wednesday morning as we cover “Gilmore Girls Only” and “Hay Bale Maze.”

And I leave you with a question, dear FYA readers: in light of their wonderful scenes this week, and because I’m feeling nostalgic as the end nears – what’s your favorite Lane/Rory scene of the series? Your favorite Emily/Lorelai scene? 

Meredith Borders is formerly the Texas-based editor of Fangoria and Birth.Movies.Death., now living and writing (and reading) in Germany. She’s been known to pop by Forever Young Adult since its inception, and she loves YA TV most ardently.