Previous episode: “Heartbreaker”
Hey everyone, it’s cat people time! And just for funsies, I am going to show you some photos of our favorite cat people dressed up as humans in ugly clothes. Doesn’t that make you excited for tonight’s episode? Cross your fingers that we will get plenty of Alek and Paul. Or at the very least no Brian (what, can’t a girl dream?)
Our episode begins with Chloe walking into her bedroom to find roses placed on her desk. I’m assuming they’re from Alek, which would be good, because I LOVE HIM. Also, I’ve pretty much embraced the fact that Alek likes to creep in through Chloe’s open window. Which I know is bad, but he’s a cat, so some bad manners are to be expected. Though, I am deducting points because they’re roses, which are stereotypical and require little thought. And Alek shows up! Which makes me wonder…had he been waiting there for Chloe since he dropped off the flowers?
Chloe asks him about the flowers and Alek claims he is “starting over” like she asked. I’m not sure that starting over involves wooing someone with generic gifts, but then again “starting over” is usually code for “let’s pretend that never happened” so I’m not sure what the protocol is for actual starting over is. Chloe calls Alek out on stealing the roses from her neighbor’s yard. He is unashamed, which is good, because flower theft is totally funnier than standing in line at a Harris Teeter to buy your $7.99 bouquet of flowers (or, God forbid, going into an actual flower store, which I’m pretty sure I’ve never done.)
Sad Sack Mom busts into Chloe’s room with some excuse about laundry, but let’s be honest, Sad Sack just wants attention from Chloe. Alek proceeds to hide behind Chloe’s bed and gets to eavesdrop on Sad Sack talking about him. This scene is pretty cute, which just reminds me that this show IS capable of being delightful, so long as they utilize Alek or Paul, constantly.
Cut to Chloe and Brian, lovingly gazing at each other from a park bench. Brian says something along the lines of “you are my love, you are my life”, which is beyond creepy, but even creepier than I would except from Brian, so I’m thinking this may be a dream. Ahhh, turns out Brian is reading Chloe excerpts from his mother’s old letters. I guess BD really loved Brian’s mom and now we know exactly where Brian inherited his “romantic sensibilities” from. Brian asks Chloe if Alek is okay with her helping him. What an obnoxious question. The camera moves back from Chloe and Brian and we see that some shady dude is taking photos of them. Wah wah.
Chloe is at work with Amy and Paul. Man, I could NOT get my friends to visit me at work during high school. Seriously, I almost never received visits from my friends and I worked at THE LOCAL LIBRARY. I mean, the library! The library is the best! Why didn’t anyone want to go to the library??? And the worst part was, people would always ask me if I could erase their fines for them. Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I CAN in the sense that I have the ability to, but I won’t. It’s the library…they give you stuff for free. Making fines disappear is like stealing. Pay your damn fines, you assholes (says the girl who is currently using her husband’s library card due to her own outrageous fines.) Anyway, Chloe is talking about her paycheck and how she has enough money to pay for half the down payment on a car and Sad Sack promised to pay the other half. Huh, I WONDER what kind of car Chloe wants to get. If it isn’t a Kia Soul, I will be shocked, because that would mean Chloe is just as flighty about cars as she is about boys. Brian is a Kia Soul. Alek is a (uhhh, struggling here because I hate cars) a Shelby Cobra. Yeah, that’s right! (Sadly, I only even know about that car because I’ve been watching entirely too much Pawn Stars on Netflix Instant. I can’t help it, I love the Old Man!)
Jasmine shows up at the vintage clothing boutique. She needs help! What kind of help? Clothes help. She has a date with a boy who is from the New York Mai pride. Let’s get her a date outfit! Cut to BD’s house. They show us a shot of the house, which I’m not sure we’ve seen before? The place looks like a goddamned English manor, jeez. That red haired lady is there and I’ve completely forgotten her name. She and BD are talking about taking out all the people protecting/close to The Uniter. BD says the Mai need to pay for what they did to his family. So…are we still thinking the Mai murdered Brian’s mom? I guess? Except, then why all the mystery surrounding her death?
Jasmine is out walking on the street and senses someone following her. She sees shady camera guy and begins to chase him down. Camera guy gets away, but not with his camera.
Chloe comes home and her mom is frantically cooking dinner in the way that people on TV always cook dinner (lots of steam and pots and stirring things). Maybe this is how it looks when real people cook dinner too. I wouldn’t know, since I’m not real people I cannot cook, at all. I mean, actually not at all. Like, I can make a sandwich or spaghetti and that’s about it. I refuse to be ashamed of it, but I’m also not proud of it. You know how certain people take a lot of pride in never doing something or not knowing how to do something? My dad used to be so damn proud, for years and years, of the fact that he’d never gone to the Mall of America. Which is quite a feat when you live in suburban Minnesota.
Anyway, Sad Sack is cooking dinner because her hot South American boyfriend is coming over. And bringing his teenage daughter, who will be hard to impress. They all sit down to dinner and Sad Sack tries her hardest to make things not awkward.
Jasmine is at home and shows Alek the creepy stalker pictures on the camera she got. She wants him to know someone has been following Chloe but also wants him to know that Chloe has been seeing Brian. Aww, I think Jasmine’s a good friend. It’s always important to have those friends who will show you or tell you things you might not necessarily want to hear. I should emphasize that it’s important to have those friends who do that but do NOT delight in it. Huge difference between the two. Alek tells Jasmine that Chloe and Brian are just friends. She asks what he and Chloe are and he says “current status undetermined.” He decides to go and follow Chloe, to protect her from her paparazzi followers. Jasmine is about to come with, but someone is at the door. It’s her date! And his name is Zane, which I won’t even dignify with a comment.
Chloe is hanging out in her room with Sad Sack’s boyfriend’s daughter, whose name is Vanessa. Chloe starts bugging her about her life and gets her to reveal that she has a secret boyfriend. Vanessa starts gushing about him. Turns out his name is Cody and they met online and Vanessa has yet to tell him how she feels. So the “boyfriend” part of secret boyfriend is less than accurate. Chloe tells Vanessa that she should tell this guy how she feels.
It’s the next morning and Sad Sack reveals that Vanessa has gone missing. Her suitcase and laptop are gone. Chloe reveals that there was a secret “boyfriend” and they realize she must have run off with him. Chloe meets up with Amy and they discuss the missing Vanessa. Alek shows up to show Chloe the camera they got. Brian calls and Alek starts getting a bit jealous, warning Chloe that she probably shouldn’t be going out with people in public while she’s being followed. Alek makes it clear that he doesn’t really want to see Brian and says most girls would be flattered that he is jealous. Chloe claims she is NOT like most girls. Which is suppose is true, since most girls aren’t cat people.
Chloe and Brian meet up for dinner to discuss his mom stuff. Brian found letters from his grandma to his mother. The problem is that BD had said this grandma had died years before these letters were mailed. Curiouser and curiouser!
Paul is hanging out at the coffee shop book store. This place really needs a good, short name that I can refer to it with. Something hip, like “The Stacks” or “The Book and Coffee Emporium.” Someone come up with a good name for me! And a good name for the vintage clothing boutique. I will reward you with an internet hug. Alek is there too, drinking coffee and generally moping. Alek goes up to Paul and tries to talk to him. Paul is surprised and wonders what Alek is doing. Alek claims “I do other things besides follow Chloe around.” Paul concludes that Alek wants some advice on Chloe. Alek won’t admit it, but it’s obvious. Paul says he will only answer a Chloe question if Alek answers Mai related questions for him. Paul is great, at least SOMEONE on this show wants to understand the Mai. Paul asks about other races and whether Alek uses a litterbox. Finally, the Alek-Paul buddy cop moments we’ve all been waiting for!!!
Amy finds Vanessa online and Chloe is able to convince Vanessa to meet up with her. Everyone is right and Vanessa IS planning on running away with Cody. He’s booked them on a cruise. That confuses Chloe who asks how old he is. 27! Hahaha, yesss, of course he is! And ladies and gentlemen, we are currently in the middle of an internet predator trope. Love it. Sad Sack’s hot boyfriend shows up to try and talk to Vanessa. Vanessa bolts and gets into the car with Cody. Cody is totally some doucher with side burns and a “hot” red sports car.
Sad Sack tells Chloe the police are now involved in finding Vanessa and that Chloe should stop looking. Chloe being Chloe is obviously going to ignore this. Chloe is with Amy and Paul and they are trying to think of where Vanessa could be. We cut over to Alek who has managed to track down Cody’s car. He smashes the window and starts snooping around. Vandalism I can support!
BD is talking to Brian who is even more pouty than usual. I suppose that’s to be expected since he’s just discovered his father likes to lie to him about major life events. BD asks Brian about Chloe. Brian says he likes her, but there isn’t anything he can do about it. BD says something about there not being many things in life outside of someone’s control. Ummm, yeah. That’s a great attitude to have about business and careers and such, but a HORRIBLE attitude to have toward relationships. No, in fact, you CANNOT control whether someone likes you or not. You can do anything/everything within your power, but at the end of the day, other people are not within your control. Realizing that would save a lot of people from a lot of heartache. And stop a lot of stalkers. Brian proceeds to bring up his Grandma, Olivia, and BD keeps up his lie about when she died.
Back to Jasmine’s house. She and Zane are supposed to go on their date, but too much is going down with Chloe. Zane says they don’t need to go out, they can stay in if she’s worried. Stay in … and make out!
Cody and Vanessa are walking around in a sketchy shipyard. Finally Vanessa starts wondering why they are there. Cody proceeds to toss Vanessa into a shipping container, filled with other (presumably dumb) girls who wanted to go on cruises with gross older men they met on the internet. Oh man, we just went from a internet predator episode, to an episode about human trafficking. Am I watching a show about mythological cat people or a bad Degrassi: TNG rip-off? I can’t decide! Also, this shipping container is totally giving me Dexter flashbacks.
Alek meets up with Chloe, Amy and Paul. He shows them all the stuff he stole from Cody’s car. There are receipts from near the shipyard. Brian shows up and wants to talk to Chloe more about his dead Grandma. Chloe indulges him, even though they are all in the middle of trying to track down a missing girl. Brian thinks the key he received in the mail came from his grandma, because the postmark matches up with one of her addresses. Paul discusses the Vanessa situation and concludes, VERY QUICKLY, that if Cody has been near the shipyard, it’s probably because she is about to be trafficked. So they decide they need to go to the shipyard asap. Alek goes up to Chloe, who is talking to Brian, and grabs her and says they need to go. Now, Alek probably shouldn’t have grabbed her, but he IS in a rush because he’s TRYING TO PRVENT A GIRL FROM GETTING SOLD INTO SEX SLAVERY, so time is kinda of the essence here. Brian totally Hulks out and shoves Alek, telling him not to grab Chloe like that. Alek pushes back and Brian PUNCHES my precious Alek. Alek is about to start some serious Mai shit but Chloe tells him to stop. He wisely does, so now Chloe respects Alek and is pissed at Brian. About time! Chloe tells Brian to leave. Which is kind of odd, if you think about it, because she’s leaving herself.
They try to call Jasmine to tell her what’s going on, but she’s TOO BUSY MAKING OUT with Zane to notice her phone. Alek and Chloe show up at the shipyard. Alek and Chloe spilt up and start taking out guards. Alek gets knocked out. Chloe runs up to the shipping container and stupidly gets herself locked inside.
The traffickers bring Alek to the container and open it…but Alek was faking. He and Chloe begin fighting them all. All the sex traffickers are defeated, yay! They lock them in the container and are planning on calling the cops on them.
Vanessa and Chloe are on their way home. Vanessa now loves Chloe forever and ever for keeping her out of a life of sex slavery. It’s the next day and Chloe is at work. Brian shows up and makes a shame faced apology. I mean, I’m glad he said he’s sorry, but I wouldn’t have forgiven him. Or hang out with him ever, in the first place. Chloe says she’ll go with him to the address from the dead Grandma’s letters.
Back at the King house. Sad Sack tells Chloe that things are over between her and Hot South American boyfriend. He has decided he needs to focus on his daughter. Which is true, but it doesn’t mean you can’t bang Sad Sack on the side. What a jerk. But, Chloe’s mom got Chloe her car. And lo … it’s a Kia Soul. There is also a Kia Soul commercial airing with Chloe and Amy in it. Now, commercials I don’t mind, because they’re commercials. But I really HATE these product placements. It just jolts you right out of the story with its ridiculousness. (Note: this morning I went to my car and behind it was a Kia Soul! In that EXACT color! THIS CAR IS HAUNTING ME!)
Alek and Chloe are hanging out on her roof. More make outs! I love these two, but this probably isn’t going to last, is it? Scene change to evil red-headed lady. She meets up with the shady photographer, who turns out to be Jasmine’s make out buddy Zane! Why is he betraying his own people? Red haired lady shows the pictures of Alek, Jasmine, Valentina and Sad Sack to BD. I guess they are going to try and take them all out. However, she pointedly does NOT show BD the picture of Chloe with Brian. Myyysterious.
And that’s it for this week! So what did you all think about tonight’s episode? Did you learn a Very Important Lesson about how not to be trafficked? Next week’s episode is the LAST of the season! And the previews for next week have me VERY CONCERNED. Chloe best not be confessing her love for Brian! If Chloe dumps Alek, I don’t think I will ever forgive ANYONE. What do you all want to see go down in the finale?