The O.C. S3.E23 “The Party Favor”
Drinks Taken: 18
Welcome back to The O.C. Rewatch Project, in which we inch closer and closer to Season 4! Last week, Britt asked me how I’m handling the return of Giant Dumb Lie-Baby Seth Cohen, and the answer is NOT WELL. I have been loving the crap out of honest, kind Season 3 Seth Cohen, and this is some stupid, infuriating Season 2 bullshit. Come back, S3 Cohen! We hardly knew ye!
Let’s drink to a better, kinder, truthier Seth Cohen:
The O.C. Drinking Game
Drink once every time:
The ladies have a convo while primping in front of a mirror
Seth makes a nerdy reference
Ryan wears a white tank top
Anyone plays a video game
Summer says “ew”
Anyone eats a bagel
Anyone references The Valley
Drink twice every time:
Someone says “Newpsie”
Fisticuffs occur (three times for pool fights!)
Someone grabs a cup of coffee
Ryan and Seth read comic books
Someone reminds us that Kaitlin Cooper exists
3.22 “The College Try”
It’s Visit Your College weekend, and all the kids are traveling. Summer and Seth to Brown, even though only one of them actually got into Brown, and Ryan and Marissa to Berkeley. Seth’s trying to weasel his way into Brown so he can win Summer back, and while he’s there who does he run into but our old dear friend Anna Stern! They’re thrilled to see each other, and it’s nice to see how easily they slide back into their old friendship – and old patterns, as poor sweet wonderful doormat Anna immediately starts advising dumb clueless idiot Seth on how to win Summer back. I don’t THINK Anna’s still in love with Seth, except she totally is.
Summer sees the two of them together and assumes the worst: that Seth wants to go to Brown, just with Anna instead of Summer. She, of course, refuses him a chance to explain himself, and in the meantime, the dean very politely refuses Seth’s very polite request to be allowed into Brown even though he wasn’t actually accepted into Brown. Anna, being the greatest, then gets Seth an interview at Rhode Island School of Design based on the strength of his Atomic County comic book, because Brown and RISD are very close to one another. Promising!
Meanwhile, Marissa and Ryan are visiting Berkeley and being very friendly (but not too friendly, thank lord) with one another.
They both admit that, though Berkeley seems like a dream, it doesn’t feel real to them, because they’ve both been through so much. They deal with this in different ways: Marissa goes home and makes up with Volchok, and Ryan hauls ass to Theresa when he hears from Kirsten that she saw Theresa AND A BABY together at the airport. Theresa puts all of our concerns to rest with the assurance that the baby is definitely Eddie’s, but she and Ryan seem to have reignited their spark, regardless. It’s nice to see all of these ex-girlfriends! Theresa has found a career in hotel management, working her way up the hospitality ladder, and that coupled with her single mother status totally make her Lorelai Gilmore! I approve.
Kirsten and Sandy keep growing apart in the wake of his devotion to the hospital project above all else. Finally, at a fundraiser dinner, Kirsten gives a shady toast comparing Sandy to her dad and then walks off and drinks a glass of wine. OH KIRSTEN. Oh, Sandy. Oh, everyone except Julie and Neil, who continue to be the greatest.
How many times do I have to drink?
She refers to Volchok as “almost homeless surfer dude,” and yeah, that about covers it.
The truest thing anybody said this week
Marissa teases Ryan that she’ll inform his new college buddies about his musical theatre past, and he replies, “I have enough dirt on you to last the next four years, so bring it on.” Even Marissa has to agree that’s the truth.
Best Seth Cohen line
As he sneaks his way into a campus tour, he grabs a nametag labeled ‘Kumar.’ At the tour guide’s glance, he says, “Yes, Kumar Zimmerman. I’m half Indian, half Jewish. I’m Hinjew.”
The Brown dean is played by ever-present character actor Erick Avari.
Marissa, reminiscing on simpler times, mentions that her sister had a pony, but “the pony lost all its hair.” Aww, China!
Other best flashback
When Seth doubts he’ll get into RISD, Anna tells him, “Cohen! Confidence, remember?” <3
3.23 “The Party Favor”
It’s senior prom time! Ryan asks Theresa, who is sort of seeing someone else but agrees anyway. Marissa asks Volchok, who is sort of the worst but agrees anyway. Taylor’s going with her boyfriend Seung Ho, and when it’s clear that Summer and Seth won’t be attending together, she gets Summer a date in the form of Seung Ho’s K-pop star pal Big Korea. BIG KOREA IS THE BEST. He’s the too cool for school chap top middle in the above picture. I love him.
So who’s Seth’s date? Poor sweet wonderful doormat Anna Stern, who has flown to Newport with a three-phased plan for getting Summer and Seth back together. Phases One and Two are both a disaster, resulting in Summer getting trashed at prom and Seth looking like he wants to commit seppuku. But because Anna is a) sweet b) wonderful c) a doormat and also d) very smart, the first two phases were INTENDED to be a disaster, to convince Seth that the only way to win Summer back is to tell her the truth about Brown. He does, and they make up, and it’s all very nice.
Less nice: Volchok, who comes to the prom just to make out with another woman in front of Marissa and then steal the $5k that Taylor has amassed for the after-party. At first, when he and Marissa walk up on Volchok macking on a rando, Ryan keeps his calm and doesn’t instigate a fight, and Theresa is later very impressed and notes how much he’s grown. And then, when it’s revealed that Taylor’s money has gone missing, Ryan leaves Theresa at the after-party to go wail on Volchok and pretend it’s about the money instead of about Marissa (who seems fine, tbh. Who among us hasn’t found our date making out with another girl at prom and yes this literally happened to me). By the way, this fight is BRUTAL.
Also brutal: this shit with Sandy and Kirsten. They kind of hate each other right now? Ugh, remember at the beginning of the season, when they were so wonderful, like S1 levels of wonderful, and then they became S2 levels of shitty at the exact same time that wonderful S3 Seth became S2 levels of shitty? WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH THE SECOND HALF OF THIS SEASON. Anyway, the hospital board is launching an investigation into Sandy and Maya’s dad who will never deserve a name.
How many times do I have to drink?
Awkward factor 10
This weird, shoehorned, pre-prom group photo situation that has Summer and Marissa heading to the Cohens’ house even though they’re no longer dating the Cohen house men. Plus Taylor is there. ALSO BIG KOREA.
Best Seth Cohen line
It’s all in the delivery, but when Summer drunkenly falls off the stage during her prom queen acceptance speech and Seth runs around in a panic, screaming for a towelette to help her for some reason, it makes me laugh so hard. “DOES ANYONE HAVE A TOWELETTE?’
When Seth first tries asking Summer to prom, she responds with the most amazingly emphatic no of all time, “Not only will I not go to prom with you, but if you and I were stranded on a deserted island, I would take the nourishment that your meager frame has to offer, and then I would feed your bones to the sharks.” YES.
Of her sexy Korean boyfriend, “He’s got this wonderfully hairless body. It’s like hooking up with a seal.”
To be clear – those pants are culottes.
When Anna tries to convince Summer that she has no designs on Seth, she says, “You’re still my Blanche, you know?” Summer does NOT know, but I do. Aww, Anna.
The rando with whom Volchok is macking at prom is 90210 (2008)’s AnnaLynne McCord.
Most recognizable song
Syd Matters’ “To All Of You”
That’s it for this week! Britt, I have a question for you: are you sick to death (like me) of all of this Seth and Summer back and forth? It’s been going on for three seasons now, and yes, it always ends nicely, but goddammit if it’s not the EXACT same story every single time. Seth is trying to impress Summer, so he deceives her, then she finds out and is incredibly disappointed, he explains that it’s just because he wanted to impress her, they make up. GET IT TOGETHER, COHEN.
Meet Britt here next Wednesday morning as she covers “The Man of the Year” and “The Graduates.”