Title: The O.C. S3.E10 “The Chrismukkah Bar Mitz-vahkkah”
The O.C. S3.E11 “The Safe Harbor”
Released: 2005
Series:  The O.C.

Drinks Taken: 15

Last week, on The O.C.

Welcome back to The O.C. Rewatch Project! Last week, Britt asked me how I feel about the spontaneous sexism among our typically sweet fellas, and I agree: it’s nice that the show used the opportunity to make some important points about female stereotyping, but I’m happy to say that it’s out of character for these good boys.

Let’s to drink to the boys!

The O.C. Drinking Game

Drink once every time:

The ladies have a convo while primping in front of a mirror
Seth makes a nerdy reference
Ryan wears a white tank top
Anyone plays a video game
Summer says “ew”
Anyone eats a bagel
Anyone references The Valley

Drink twice every time: 

Someone says “Newpsie”
Fisticuffs occur (three times for pool fights!)
Someone grabs a cup of coffee
Ryan and Seth read comic books
Someone reminds us that Kaitlin Cooper exists

3.10 “The Chrismukkah Bar Mitz-vahkkah”

It’s Chrismukkah time again, and that means it’s time for a new Chrismukkah miracle. Johnny can’t afford the surgery he needs to repair his surfin’ knee, so the awesome foursome conceive of a plan: Ryan will partake in an honorary bar mitzvah, and the money he raises will go toward Johnny’s surgery. BUT WAIT: a bar mitzvah for a gentile?

Johnny, of course, is all huffy about receiving charity, and claims he’ll take care of this himself, but his plan is literally just to buy a gun and knock over a liquor store. Dude, have you tried selling drugs? Marissa continues to be a really sweet friend to Johnny, Johnny continues to be in love with Marissa, and Ryan continues to waffle between being an adult and a total baby about their friendship. But, after all (as Sandy Cohen points out), it is his bar mitzvah, so Ryan grows up and convinces Johnny to do the right thing and “let the rich people take care of you.”

Johnny’s not the only one feeling bittersweet about Chrismukkah: so are Kirsten, Julie and Summer. Kirsten’s feeling that way because it’s the boys’ last Chrismukkah in the house, and the first Chrismukkah without her dad. But the bar mitzvah helps raise her spirits, because that’s what bar mitzvahs are for (maybe?). Summer’s missing her mom, and so is Summer’s dad, who tells her that her step-monster is on a zen retreat, when we know that they’re actually going through a divorce. Oh and no big D, but Dr. Roberts and Julie Cooper sure seem to be getting along, by the way. It’s nice Julie has a new friend, because she’s feeling PRETTY down in that trailer park. Fortunately, she also has a wonderful friend in Kirsten, who keeps trying to convince her to tell Marissa about her new mobile address so they can be together for the holidays.

Meanwhile, Seth is viewing this bar mitzvah as a do-over, because he had exactly zero friends attend his own. Everyone feels a little guilty about skipping out on tiny Seth’s big day (well, not Ryan, because he didn’t live in Newport back then), but they certainly make up for it here. After Ryan gives an incredibly lovely speech at the bar mitzvah, thanking the Cohens for everything they’ve done for him, and Johnny accepts his friends’ kindness, everyone’s bittersweet Chrismukkah loses the bitter and embraces the sweet, with some slow-mo swaying to “That’s What Friends Are For,” because Seth promises that’s the song they play at all bar mitzvahs. I believe him, yo.

This is something of a slight episode, but a very sweet one, and I really love the way it ends. Slow-motion swaying for everyone! <3

How many times did I have to drink? 


Best Seth Cohen line

Ryan, about submitting to this humiliating honorary bar mitzvah: “Yeah, maybe it’ll make me a saint.” Seth: “Jews don’t believe in saints. Just really good stand-up comics.”

The worst nickname

Summer calls Marissa “Cooper Scooper,” and I have to concur with Mariss that the name has to go.

The sweetest callback

Kirsten and Sandy, hanging the stockings, fondly recall when Seth first made Ryan’s stocking. I don’t think we knew until now that Seth’s the one who made it, though of course we shouldn’t be surprised. I reserve the right, however, to be very moved.

White trash Julie Cooper


Tiny Seth

Eeeee, look at Tiny Seth!

Tiny Ryan

Eeeee, look at Tiny Ryan!

Tiny Tim

Summer makes me laugh so hard by saying about Johnny, “Poor guy. Slight of build and on crutches. He’s kind of like our very own Tiny Tim.”

Most recognizable song

“That’s What Friends Are For,” obviously. In good times, and bad times…

The most Jewish Sandy Cohen

He’s VERY disapproving of the idea of a fake bar mitzvah, and gives a lot of very solemn, Hebrew-sounding reasons why. When he finally agrees on behalf of Kirsten, who perks up at the prospect of a new social event, he insists, “No tallit, no challah, no tefillin.” Later he sings the dreidel song and calls Ryan a mensch. It’s all very, very hot.

3.11 “The Safe Harbor”

After the awesome foursome shared a wonderful holiday break together, they’re all blue that it’s over and Marissa has to go back to *gasp* public school. So Summer decides to start a Free Marissa campaign, and she wrangles the boys to help. Sympathetic principal Dr. Kim tells Ryan about a similar precedent in which a student was allowed back into Harbor after a violent incident, so Ryan recruits Sandy Cohen, Seth recruits Taylor Townsend and they’re off! But obstacle: Taylor’s mom continues to be a grade-A asshole. Taylor’s excited to participate in Seth and Summer’s campaign, mainly because Taylor’s excited to do anything that a) involves Seth Cohen and b) makes her feel like part of a group, but it turns out that Taylor’s mom is the one who got Marissa kicked out in the first place. She bullies Taylor into abandoning the campaign, but Seth’s kind, wonderful friendship gives her the courage to stand up to her mom, and together, they all get Marissa back into Harbor. Have I mentioned that I love Taylor Townsend? Have I mentioned that I love Season 3 Seth Cohen?

Johnny got the surgery but his knee’s still bunk and he can’t surf. He’s heartbroken and still in love with Marissa, and she feels so bad she almost doesn’t attend her own trial because she doesn’t want to leave Johnny in his time of need. When Ryan tells Johnny that Marissa is about to throw away her future for him, Johnny convinces Marissa that he’s healed and leaving for his surf tour and everything’s a-okay, just so she’ll stop being such a martyr on his behalf. It’s all kind of sweet and kind of sad and pretty boring. Let’s get back to the good stuff!

Julie and Neil (aka Dr. Roberts) are still really getting along, and it’s all very nice. Flirty, but not scandalous – they’re supporting each other through their respective troubles. Julie’s trying to convince him to tell Summer about the divorce, and he’s trying to convince her to tell Marissa about the trailer park. He speaks on Marissa’s behalf at the trial, and they eventually come clean to their kids with each other’s support. I really like this pairing.

And finally, Marissa’s admitted back into Harbor just in time for class photos, and the episode ends with a lovely musical montage of the friends hanging out. Man, these are nice, happy episodes. A lot of good friendship stuff happens in these two eps.

How many times did I have to drink? 


Julie, no

Julie’s white trash wardrobe just gets worse and worse. It’s hard to tell here, but her midriff is sheer leopard print, that nubby, bell-sleeved sweater is embellished on the back, the skirt ends at tea-length and it’s met by a pair of ankle-high booties. BLURGH.

Most recognizable song

The concluding montage is set to Rogue Wave’s “California.” Obviously I’m not the first, nor four thousandth, person to say it, but damn. What a great soundtrack this show had.

Best Taylor Townsendism

Summer tells Seth to seduce Taylor into helping their campaign, and he comes clean to Taylor about the plan. Her perky reply is AMAZING: “Wow. Anything else, you’d be facing a long night involving candle wax, tube socks and the new Fiona Apple CD.”

New besties

Summer’s so grateful to Taylor for helping them help Marissa, I love it. Taylor’s mom storms out of the trial and Taylor asks for a ride home, and Summer laughs and hugs her, saying, “A ride? Hell no – you’re sleeping over, sister!” EEEE I WANT TO SEE THAT SLUMBER PARTY.

That’s it for this week! Britt, I have a question for you: how do you feel about Julie and Neil? He’s my favorite of Julie’s beaux, with the possible exception of Luke.

And meet Britt here next Wednesday morning as she covers “The Sister Act” and “The Pot Stirrer,” and you know what that means: TEENAGE KAITLIN COOPER, BABY!


Meredith Borders is formerly the Texas-based editor of Fangoria and Birth.Movies.Death., now living and writing (and reading) in Germany. She’s been known to pop by Forever Young Adult since its inception, and she loves YA TV most ardently.