Title: Veronica Mars S2.E12 “Rashard and Wallace Go to White Castle”
Veronica Mars S2.E13 “Ain’t No Magic Mountain High Enough”
Veronica Mars S2.E14 “Versatile Toppings”
Released: 2006
Series:  Veronica Mars

Trips to the Dentist: 14
Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Players: Inga, Jackie, and Mac

Previously, on Veronica Mars

Good morning, Marshmallows! Maybe it’s because a certain someone has been banished from Neptune, but it’s like a gloomy, boring cloud has been lifted! I might even like Jackie now. So let’s get to it!

The Official FYA Veronica Mars Season 2 Drinking Game

Take a drink every time:

  • Someone says “Veronica Mars”, even when they know full well who she is and there’s no other Veronica in all of Neptune
  • Veronica uses her camera
  • Mars family members hug (Backup counts!)
  • Backup appears
  • Someone mentions the 90909 zip code or ’09ers
  • Someone uses a disguise/alias/fake voice
  • A character, initially introduced as good, turns out to be a baddie (or vice versa)
  • Fisticuffs occur
  • Veronica has a meeting in a bathroom
  • Logan’s voicemail greeting is heard
  • A Taser is used
  • Veronica mentions ponies or unicorns
  • The communal argyle shirt appears
  • Someone says “bus crash”

Onto the episodes!

MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 2.12 “Rashard and Wallace Go to White Castle”

Wallace comes clean about the hit and run in Chicago to a reporter, but his story is never released. Instead, the other guys in the car accuse Wallace of driving, when it was really basketball star Rashard. And this is where being BFFs with a teenage detective comes in handy, because Veronica tracks down a key witness that clears Wallace of wrongdoing.

How many Trips to the Dentist did I take? (drink count) 6

Greasers vs. Socs + Jets vs. Sharks

Felix’s ties to the Fitzp.’s were strictly romantical; he had only been dating Molly on the DL, and not, like, dealing molly. But that got Weevil’s little gray cells thinking that the PCH/Fitzp. drops are going down at the church that they all go to. When Weevil confronts Thumper in front of the other PCHers, they ALL turn on Weevil, kicking the shit out of him and tossing his bike away. Weevil also figures out that Thumper was the one who really killed Felix, but Thumper has a video of Weevil beating up Curly Moran, the dead guy that washed onto shore. (So Veronica’s earring hunch was correct. Never underestimate the power of accessorizing!)

File Under the Bus Crash

Keith gets his hands on the interview tapes for the case by sneaking them out of the Sheriff’s Department in a hollowed out book (WHY WOULD YOU KILL A BOOK, KEITH?!). Both Casablancas boys mention the rancid smell on the bus, and that they had known Curly from his shop. Keith thinks that the rat may have been planted to stink up the joint, giving the rich kids a reason to get off the bus. Although Gia — whose family was also familiar with Curly — didn’t take the bus home, on the advice of her father Woody…

But the suspect du jour is actually Terrence Cook, who’s been linked to Ms. Dumas, the dead journalism teacher, and brought in by Lamb for questioning.

Life on Mars

There are some mentions of the D-word (Dunce? Dunkin’ Donuts? Lunk?), which is great for continuity, but c’mon, y’all — we can start forgetting now, so let’s remove him from our vocabs.

Now that Wallace is back in town, he’s totally brushing Jackie off, along with all of her dramz. OR IS HE? Wallace gets grossly possessive when he sees Jackie flirting with Rashard, but PSYCH! It’s all an act! Jackie had me fooled, given our brief time with her, and I’m glad that Wallace wasn’t actually a jealous non-boyfriend. He may no longer be the squeaky clean kid that we first met, but he’s still Wallace, dammit.

One last observation: I like how Veronica’s accidental confession with Father Patrick showed her awareness of her flaws. Although she hasn’t really grown on that front, in the 1.5 years we’ve covered so far. Which is pretty realistic, and maybe a mixed blessing that this show ended before that kind of internal conflict got dragged out well past its expiration date (ahem, Dexter).

MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Inga

Inga didn’t really do anything MVP-worthy in this episode (esp. since Keith made himself a key card and snuck into the evidence room on her watch), but I haven’t given her a shout-out yet, so consider this a lifetime achievement award. I adore Inga. And not just because the majority of female adults on this show are terribad.

Best Reminder That It’s 2006 (That Hasn’t Been Replaced by Something a Smartphone Can Do)

I know I have a no tech embargo, but Rashard’s uncle’s superphone is not-so-super. The title of the episode itself also works.

And the Snark Award Goes To…: Veronica x 2

After Wallace finds out what kind of trouble he’s facing with the hit and run, he tries to stay positive. Veronica, ever the grammar police:

Veronica: “Good? What, in the same way that Rashard is cool? Do you know what any words actually mean?”

And here’s her response to Weevil and Logan’s poor attempt at being sneaky:

Neptune Cameo

No one new!

Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “Veronica” by Elvis Costello

This gets sung in the recurring karaoke subplot, which I haven’t mentioned yet, but the show is seriously pushing musical cameos, so here it is. Plus, it’s super easy to add on Mars to the end of all those Veronicas in that song. (For an actual pick from the episode, I choose “I Summon You” by Spoon.)

MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 2.13 “Ain’t No Magic Mountain High Enough”

Neptune High is holding its Winter Carnival, and the seniors are raising money for their class trip. Except the cash box has gone missing, and Ms. Hauser the jerk teacher accuses Veronica of taking it. There are a bunch of guilty parties, but none of them Veronica: J.B., for making a copy of an upcoming health test; Ms. Hauser, for skimming money from the trip funds; and Weevil, who also helped himself to some trip money. And just like Mac before him, Weevil spends his ’09er cash on a shiny green car.

How many Trips to the Dentist did I take? (drink count) 3

Greasers vs. Socs + Jets vs. Sharks

Not only did Weevil score a new set of wheels, but he set Thumper up for the theft. Thumper is so fucking weird. He tries to intimidate Weevil by… hitting a balloon. OOOH SCARY. And then he makes a big deal about getting a stuffed snake, which he later uses to scare kids. Really? Thumper’s such a loser. Even if he’s named after a cute bunny (in my mind).

File Under the Bus Crash

Lamb thinks that Terrence Cook detonated the bus bomb via cell phone, and Terrence thinks Lamb has it out for him, on account of Terence being Mayor Woody’s ally. As for Terence and Ms. Dumas, they had an affair, but she was bunny-boiling NOT OVER IT and she also threatened to expose Terrence for throwing a playoff game. Now that Terrence has finally come clean about his dirty laundry, Keith decides to take on his case, because he’d get no screen time otherwise. (I miss seeing the main cast interact. And the Season 2 additions are hogging up all the time for regulars like Cliff and Vinnie!)

Life on Mars

This episode is all about hair! OK not really, but these are things that I care about. Logan gets a haircut, Mac has pink streaks, and Weevil’s hair migrates from his face to his head.

Speaking of hair, new character Hannah’s is unimpressive and lacking some volume. Logan doesn’t appear to share my concerns, because he flirts with her anyway. (But Logannnnn! VERONICA IS SINGLE NOW — WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, BRO?) Logan even ends up meeting Hannah’s dad — who’s none other than Dr. Tim, the Felix murder non-witness. GASP. (Although I really was surprised the first time around. Mostly at what a small world Neptune is, since everyone is connected to everyone else.)

Meanwhile! Mac and Beav are official, all cute and hand-holdy. Mac also calls him Beaver, which I find super strange, but WHATEVS, LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE.

And as always, Dick is being a dick, so Beav and Mac get back at him by setting him up with a trans sex worker. Just as Dick’s about to pound on Beaver (I know, I’m sorry, I’m so immature), he backs off when Beav asks him, “You remember Sally?” I… do not. Can someone help me out? Does this ever get explained? (I guess I’ll find out soon enough. Or I could Google it. But IMPAAATIENT and LAAAAZY.)

MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Jackie

A dishonourable WORST HUMAN EVER to Asshole Teacher. And also Madison, who is never not horrible. But yeah — no more UGH JACKIE. I’m coming around, y’all. Though she seems to have gone under a personality change since Wallace has been away. As in, she’s not being a jerk or hating on Veronica for no reason.

Anyway, Jackie’s getting shat on by everyone because of her dad — with the aforementioned Asshole Teacher and Madison being among the offenders. Jackie bravely goes through with being the dunk tank victim, which proves that Neptune High is full of sadistic assholes. Obvi, their classmates are dead and it’s horrible, but Jackie herself isn’t a suspect. Jackie draws a parallel between her sitch and Veronica’s, back when V. stood by Keith through all that adversity. And dare I say — Jackie is actually more remarkable, considering that Terrence is being accused of mass murder, and that they’re nowhere as close as the Marses are.

Best Reminder That It’s 2006 (That Hasn’t Been Replaced by Something a Smartphone Can Do)

A few entertainment references that weren’t even that current back then: Ghost World and Thomas Crown Affair. Plus, Weevil’s niece is rocking a Powerpuff Girls Buttercup backpack.

And the Snark Award Goes To…: Veronica and Weevil

Some snarky banter between Veronica and Logan (JUST MAKE UP ALREADY), but this has GIFs, so.

Neptune Cameo

  • Jessy Schram as Hannah. Jessy played Cinderella on Once Upon a Time, and she’s also been in Life with Damien Lewis. Most recently, she was in Last Resort as BEN COVINGTON‘S WIFE. Jessy is the luckiest duck, is what I’m saying.

Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: ?

Apparently there weren’t any songs at all! So enjoy the song that inspired this episode’s title.

MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 2.14 “Versatile Toppings”

Pizza delivery boys are getting mugged, and one of them has lost a list of gay closeted students at Neptune High. And now those kids are being blackmailed to stay in the closet, and the mugger’s also being blamed for stealing the rims off of an ’09er. But just like the last episode, there are multiple culprits: the mugger’s just some kid trying to prove himself to Thumper’s PCHers; the blackmail was an inside job, i.e. one of the closeted kids; and the ’09er actually sold his rims to make blackmail payments, because he’s gay too.

How many Trips to the Dentist did I take? (drink count) 5

Greasers vs. Socs + Jets vs. Sharks

In addition to their drug empire and feuding with high schoolers, the Fitzp.’s are enforcers for the Indian casino’s owner. As if all these factions weren’t complicated enough.

File Under the Bus Crash

Terrence Cook alibis out by being at the casino, with its cell phone jamming tech, at the time of the bus crash. But then why did Veronica find explosives and detonators in his airplane hangar!? (And what’s a guy with a gambling problem doing with an airplane hangar full of cars? Jackie insinuated that there used to be more, but still.) We also find out that one of the bus crash victims was gay.

Life on Mars

Post-break Jackie is so much better than pre-break Jackie, just like a lot of other characters who have changed since their first appearance (I’m thinking Logan and Lamb, even though Lamb’s still pretty douchey). Anyway, she and Veronica go on a road trip for one of Wallace’s games, and they do it in style, aka one of Terrence’s many cars.

One character that I won’t be doing a 180 on is Hannah. Aside from being an obstacle to LoVe (and her hair, obvs), Hannah exclusively wears winter gear. BISH PLEASE, YOU LIVE IN CALIFORNIA. Talk to me when tear icicles form on your eyelashes. (Not to perpetuate inaccurate Canadian stereotypes or anything, so just to clarify: that’s only happened to me like once or twice. Which is probably still once or twice more than it should happen, ever.)

Anywayyyy, Logan and Dr. Tim finally address the big, stabby elephant in the room. Dr. Tim wants Logan to stop hanging out with Hannah; Logan wants Dr. Tim to stop committing perjury. Dr. Tim tells Hannah all about Logan’s murder case, but Logan counters with Dr. Tim being a cokehead under the Fitzp.’s thumb. Hannah finds proof that backs up Logan, and the two of them go public… and Veronica finds out that they’re dating, and that Hannah’s dad is Dr. Tim in one fell swoop.

MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Mac

She ends up relenting, but Mac preserves the privacy of the website for as long as she could. After all, “it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends.” Ten points to Mac!

Best Reminder That It’s 2006 (That Hasn’t Been Replaced by Something a Smartphone Can Do)

The fact that the website’s called a chat room? There’s also a bit of “very special episode” vibe, with everyone coming out to Veronica. (Not that she doesn’t handle it well, but it’s like the show’s making up for its lack of gay characters thus far, all at once.)

And the Snark Award Goes To…: Corny

When he helps Veronica catch the mugger, he calls himself master bait. Hee.

Neptune Cameo

  • Kristin Cavalleri as Kylie. I marathoned way too many episodes of Laguna Beach back in the day. I always liked LC better, though.

Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: ?

HMMM tough call! “On the 54” by The Dandelions is more upbeat, but “I Don’t Know” by Starsailor is a solid pick, too. Good thing I make my own arbitrary rules so I don’t have to choose!

That’s it for this week, Marshmallows! Next up is “The Quick and the Wed”, “The Rapes of Graff”, and “Plan B”.

So I know that keeping a case-of-the-week format FRESH! and INTERESTING! is not always an easy feat, but this set of episodes relies a little too much on multiple culprits working simultaneously. (Oooh or — spoiler alert — maybe that’s supposed to be foreshadowing?) Same goes for the season-long mysteries — did these twists and turns keep things unpredictable for you, or did you find the storylines to be a bit bloated? 

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Mandy (she/her) lives in Edmonton, AB. When she’s not raiding the library for YA books, she enjoys eating ice cream (esp. in cold weather), learning fancy pole dance tricks, and stanning BTS. Mandy has been writing for FYA since 2012, and she oversaw all things FYA Book Club from 2013 to 2023.