About:
Veronica Mars S3.E14 “Mars, Bars”
Veronica Mars S3.E15 “Papa’s Cabin”
Trips to the Dentist: 3 Drinks, 3 Shots
Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Players: Weevil, Mac, and Wallace
Y’all, there was ZERO PIZ in these three episodes. I DOTH PROTEST.
The writers tried to make up for it by killing a ton of people but when it comes to my pulses racing, nothing beats Piz’s smile.
Also, RIP SHERIFF LAMB.
The Official FYA Veronica Mars Season 3 Drinking Game
Take a drink every time:
- Someone says “Veronica Mars”, even when they know full well who she is and there’s no other Veronica in all of Neptune
- Veronica uses her camera
- Mars family members hug (Backup counts!)
- Backup appears
- Someone mentions a fraternity or sorority
- Veronica uses a college cliche as a disguise
- A character, initially introduced as good, turns out to be a baddie (or vice versa)
- Fisticuffs occur
- Veronica gets some action (kissing or otherwise)
- A Taser is used
- Veronica mentions ponies, unicorns, kittens, or puppies
- The communal argyle shirt appears
Take a shot every time:
- Veronica solves a case
- Logan calls Veronica “bobcat”
Onto the episodes!
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 3.13 “Postgame Mortem”
Coach Barry, the head of the Hearst basketball team, got murdered! His son Josh is the number one suspect, especially after Mason reports having seen him arguing with his dad at the murder scene. This mystery actually continues into the next episode, so for now, I’ll ask: Did anyone else think the culprit was Josh’s autistic brother? And am I a bad person for thinking that?
Trips to the Dentist: 2 Drinks, 1 Shot
File Under Dean O’Dell’s Murder
Keith pays a visit to Mel Stoltz, who has an alibi for the time the Dean was murdered. Likewise, Professor Landry and Mindy have a convenient explanation for why they called each other in the middle of the night– because the brand of toothpaste you purchase at a hotel store is a REALLY big decision. But that doesn’t explain who took the Dean’s Volvo out of valet parking right around his time of death. And the room service dude overheard two men arguing in Landry’s hotel room…
Life on Mars
In a desperate attempt to make me like Logan, the show writers decided to pair him with a precocious little girl. It kinda worked? While Dick is off to Vegas with Melinda, her little sister Heather is stuck with Sad Sack Logan. Over the course of the weekend, Heather cheers Logan up, but she also convinces him to make the cheesiest dedication EVER to Veronica over the radio, so I’m not sure if Logan truly benefited. Veronica runs into Logan in the hotel elevator right after hearing the dedication (and turning it off), and he does… nothing. WAH WAAAAH.
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Weevil
Even though it violates his parole, Weevil sets up a meeting with Veronica and the PCHers so she can determine their involvement in Coach Barry’s death. It’s not much, but there were hardly any other members of the Scooby Gang in this episode so WEEVIL WINS!
And the Snark Award Goes To…
This episode wasn’t all up on the humor, but I did love this exchange between Heather and Logan:
Logan: “Well, with age comes wisdom. You know, you can play Mario Kart online. We should have a weekly game or something, keep you sharp.”
Heather: “Quit flirting with me, old man. I’m eleven.”
Neptune Cameo
- Juliette Goglia as Heather. Girlfriend has been steadily working since her stint as The Worst Radio Dedication Requester Ever.
- Jonathan Chase as Josh. I also checked out Jonathan Chase, but, well, no.
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “What’s Left of Me” by Nick Lachey
This is the song that Logan (Heather) dedicated to Veronica. This. THIS.
Now you know why it didn’t work because GROSS.
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 3.14 “Mars, Bars”
Veronica gets arrested so she can make a lot of hilarious prison jokes for helping Josh out.
But her belief in Josh’s innocence is valid, because Coach Barry was suffering from Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease, so he asked a close family friend (a.k.a. the assistant coach, who looks a bit like Josh) to assist him (get it?) in dying so that his family could cash in on the life insurance policy.
Unfortunately for Josh, he’s still facing a murder wrap, so he slips into Mexico to ensure that his family can keep the insurance money. I can’t imagine what an 18-year-old could do to keep himself occupied south of the border… oh wait.
Trips to the Dentist: 1 shot (and pour one out for Sheriff Lamb)
File Under Dean O’Dell’s Murder
HOLY HELL A TON OF SHIZZ WENT DOWN!!! Veronica and Keith realized they were an hour off on O’Dell’s time of death, and Weevil found Professor Landry’s shirt and a pair of bloodstained gloves, and then Mindy’s ex, Steve Botando (Richard Grieco) broke into her house again, so Sheriff Lamb pursued him! And then Botando beat him with a baseball bat! And Deputy Sacks shot Botando! And then Lamb whispered, “I smell bread,” and THOSE WERE HIS LAST WORDS.
Life on Mars
Mac, Bronson and Parker are dying to compete in a Valentine’s scavenger hunt, so of course they ask Logan to be their fourth teammate. WAIT WHAT?
The scavenger hunt is super cute, but what’s with this sudden chemistry between Parker and Logan? And HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO VERONICA?
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Mac
DEFINITELY NOT PARKER.
I’ll give it to Mac, because even though she didn’t help V in this episode, she did finally have HEALTHY HAPPY SEX!! Yay Mac!!!
And the Snark Award Goes To…
Wallace, for giving Lamb a MAJOR BURN. And right before he died, too! Nice one, Wallace.
Lamb: “I know you from somewhere.”
Wallace: “Yeah, you told me to go see the Wizard and ask him for some guts.”
Lamb: “Well, did you?”
Wallace: “Yeah. He said to let you know you’re the only sheriff in America who he considers a true friend of Dorothy.”
Neptune Cameo
Nada!
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “Lovers Who Uncover” by The Little Ones
I totally forgot about how much I love this song until I heard it play in this episode (when the scavenger hunt gang is taking Kama Sutra photos). Seriously, though, Parker, HANDS OFF LOGAN.
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 3.15 “Papa’s Cabin”
Trips to the Dentist: 1 drink, 1 shot
Let’s get straight to…
File Under Dean O’Dell’s Murder
This mystery went out with a bang! Mindy bought a boat, and then she and Landry skipped town. After his alibi (the night of O’Dell’s murder) turned out to be a woman he supposedly blackmailed, Landry seemed guilty, especially after he got in a fight with Mindy and threw her overboard to sleep with the fishes. Dude, have your students taught you nothing because that is NOT the perfect crime.
Veronica, of course, ended up discovering the true culprit– Tim Foyle! WHAT THE WHAT. Tim bugged Landry’s phone and heard a less than glowing recommendation on Tim’s behalf, so he murdered Dean O’Dell then framed Landry for it. I knew I didn’t like that guy.
Life on Mars
Parker attempted to ask Veronica if it was okay to date Logan, and then Veronica blew her off, so she was all “Chicks Before Dicks!” with Logan. But, in true dick form, Logan decided to approach Veronica with the same question, and she said fine, because what else can you say without sounding like a crazy bitch? UGH. Seriously, WHERE IS PIZ TO MAKE IT ALL BETTER?
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Wallace
Wallace!!! I love how Wallace totally tattled on Parker and Logan to Veronica. That, y’all, is the sign of a true friend.
And the Snark Award Goes To…
Veronica, for her response to Wallace being a true friend:
(Psst — we have a rewatch for that!)
Neptune Cameo
Sorry, wannabe celebs, V Mars has a big mystery to solve and NO TIME FOR YOU.
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: None
There were no recognizable songs in this episode either. I’d like to think it was out of respect for Piz’s absence.
So, do you remember watching this arc for the first time? If so, did you predict that Tim was the killer? I have had a ton of whiskey a terrible memory, so even the second time around, I had no idea whodunnit. Which made things pretty exciting, actually.
Now, who’s ready for Pizneyland?
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