About:
Veronica Mars S2.E22 “Not Pictured”
Trips to the Dentist: 18
Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Players: Weevil, Beaver, and Mac; and Mac
A new Veronica Mars movie featurette came out yesterday! Check back later today for that discussion. But first: the rewatch!
The Official FYA Veronica Mars Season 2 Drinking Game
Take a drink every time:
- Someone says “Veronica Mars”, even when they know full well who she is and there’s no other Veronica in all of Neptune
- Veronica uses her camera
- Mars family members hug (Backup counts!)
- Backup appears
- Someone mentions the 90909 zip code or ’09ers
- Someone uses a disguise/alias/fake voice
- A character, initially introduced as good, turns out to be a baddie (or vice versa)
- Fisticuffs occur
- Veronica has a meeting in a bathroom
- Logan’s voicemail greeting is heard
- A Taser is used
- Veronica mentions ponies or unicorns
- The communal argyle shirt appears
- Someone says “bus crash”
Onto the episodes!
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 2.21 “Happy Go Lucky”
After being arrested for stalking the Goodmans and then getting fired over it, Janitor Lucky snaps, bringing a gun to the Neptune High and looking for Gia. Wallace tries to be a hero — fortunately, Lucky’s only packing blanks — but it’s a security guard that ultimately takes Lucky down and out for good. (But not-a-spoiler alert: it’s not the last time we’ll see of that actor.)
Even though Woody keeps denying any connection to Lucky beyond him being a bat boy for the Sharks, the self-appointed ‘Mr. Goodwood’ (BLECH) received a bunch of incriminating emails that suggest otherwise. (Not the ones from Lucky; those are kind of ranty and unhelpful.) If incorporation had passed, someone threatened to release a conversation between two of Woody’s child molestation victims, saying that the Sharks had to know about what Woody did to the kids. The scene is super tense, with Woody almost catching Veronica in the act of discovering the emails, and the ominous score makes everything Woody says sound menacing. THANKS, SHOW, for making these perfectly innocuous lines so creepy:
Woody: “Veronica. What are you doing in here?”
Woody: “Come on, Veronica. Mi casa es su casa.”
Woody: “So. How’d it work out for you? […] Are you as smart as you think you are?”
Woody: “It’s the computer screen. All that squinting. Can’t be good for you.”
Once Veronica gets out of Bad Touch Woody’s house (and presumably douses her mindgrapes with bleach), she realizes that the recording acting had a third speaker that was edited out. She tracks down other bat boys during Lucky’s tenure, but to no avail. (One might even say she struck out — and one will!)
That is, until she finds out that Woody’s Little League team is also called the Sharks. And two of the bus crash victims were former players, what what! Veronica and Keith take the info to Lamb, who chooses his own ego over freaking justice yet again, accusing Keith of just trying to make him look a fool.
Oh, and Lucky also left a bomb under one of the Goodmans’ cars. It seems kind of weird that something as major as an explosive is an afterthought, but it really is. Lamb equates car bomb with bus bomb, even though Lucky was accounted for in a psych ward on the day of the bus crash. Thanks to Lamb’s supreme incompetence, Woody is now on the lam (but not the way that Madison is).
How many Trips to the Dentist did I take? (drink count) 8
Greasers vs. Socs + Jets vs. Sharks
Eyewitnesses have come forward re: Thumper’s disappearance, and they’ve ID’d Weevil. Yay for follow-through, but ughhhhh this storyline just won’t end.
File Under the Bus Crash
Speaking of alibis, Indian casino owner Leonard Lobo has provided one for Terrence Cook, who’s now off the hook. With the law anyway, because Lobo’s forcing him to work at the casino to pay off his gambling debt. Is it just pride preventing Terrence from selling his airplane hangar with eight cars? It may not cover the millions of dollars of debt, but it’d at least make a dent in it, no?
Life on Mars
Aaron’s trial is underway, and the bastard is claiming all sorts of ludicrous shit. (“Leave me out of this!” Ludacris probably doesn’t say.) Aaron’s version: Lilly was a hormonal attention-whore who he only made made out with because he was all mid-life crisis sad panda-y, and it was really rage-y Duncan who killed her.
This definitely brings out the angry, vengeful Veronica. But Aaron’s lawyer keeps insinuating that she’s a social-climbing gold digger, and he outs her for having an STI. And UGH to this judge for deeming this relevant to Veronica’s testimony on the sex tapes.
Keith’s turn on the witness stand is just as unsuccessful, when it ends with him threatening the asshole attorney with bodily harm. Which is a shitload of restraint, given the web of ‘boyfriends’ that the lawyer claims Veronica has. Anyway, Veronica’s accused of messing with the tapes because she lied about their contents, so says lawyer.
Another evidence tampering candidate is Logan, but he’s been granted immunity in exchange for his testimony. But UGHHHH none of it matters, because Aaron has been acquitted of every.single.fucking.charge.
In less stabby news (but still pretty stabby, since it’s her excuse to snoop around at Woody’s house), Veronica and Gia have made up — thanks to her gorgeous cupcakes (not a euphemism) and a casual brush with death — and they study together for their health final. Seriously, how fucking hard is this health class, if people are have study sessions and cheating on tests for it? But more importantly: look at these cupcakes! Can I get mad at you too, Gia?
Meanwhile, Wallace has been accepted to Hearst, as if there was ever any doubt. In light of Terrence’s release, Jackie wanted to defer going to the Sorbonne. But Terrence doesn’t want her around his now-shambles of a life, so he pushes her away and towards France. Which is where Jackie decides to leave for ahead of time. (Or is it?)
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Weevil, Beaver, and Mac
Weevil needs help with algebra, so he offers to fix Beaver’s car in exchange for some tutoring. Howevs, the Beav is a TERRIBLE tutor (Weevil: “Screw it, man. I’ll just cheat.”) — but Mac isn’t! She steps in to help Weevil for Beaver, and a romance is rekindled (along with some super-nerdy math technique banter).
Best Reminder That It’s 2006 (That Hasn’t Been Replaced by Something a Smartphone Can Do)
Chia pets were even dated 7 years ago, right? Then either Gia having a MySpace account, or Keith explaining POP servers.
And the Snark Award Goes To…: Mac and Weevil
These two def. needed more scenes together. (Maybe in the movie?)
Neptune Cameo:
No one new!
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “Lost and Found” by Adrienne Pierce
Ignore the few bars of “Poker Face” at the end of this clip.
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 2.22 “Not Pictured”
With Woody on the run, Keith uses medical records to track the sleazeball down in Reno. Woody tries to justify sexually abusing children, GROSS. But he insists that he didn’t crash the bus.
Veronica tries to identify the kids on Woody’s Little League team with the bus crash victims, when she notices OH SHIT not pictured: CASSIDY CASABLANCAS. The other two wanted to come forward about Woody, but Cassidy didn’t. So he used the explosives knowledge he picked up from Curly the mechanic to kill them. And when Curly figured it out, Cassidy killed him, too — and incited a war between the PCHers and the Fitzp.s as a distraction. And that time he hired Veronica to spy on Kendall? He was really punishing Big Dick for, well, being a big dick, so Daddy Casablancas’ fraud scheme got exposed.
As if Cassidy wasn’t already the evilest evil that ever eviled, remember those medical files on Woody? Well, he has chlamydia. And Veronica has chlamydia. And because chlamydia is such a rare condition* that there could only be one degree of separation between their chlamydia, OH GUESS WHAT — Veronica was raped after all!
*Definitely a lie. But I’m unwilling to verify because the internet has PHOTOS.
And Cassidy tops it off with blowing up the plane that was bringing Woody and Keith back to Neptune.
Cassidy’s excessive mustache-twirling has given Logan a chance to find them on the roof of the Neptune Grand. Veronica manages to get Cassidy’s gun, turning it on him. Logan talks her down from killing Cassidy, but he couldn’t do the same for Cassidy. He jumps. Everything Cassidy did was awful, but oof: “My name is Cassidy!”
Then Veronica goes to the room that Cassidy had rented. He intercepted Veronica’s warning for Mac. And UGH WHHYYYYYY Veronica finds Mac traumatized, with all the sheets and clothes gone from the room. </3
Mars apartment. Logan stays with Veronica during the night. She wakes up thinking that Keith is alive!… but it’s just Logan. But IT’S ACTUALLY KEITH TOO! (Although WHY DO THEY FAKE HER OUT, THAT IS A HORRIBLE THING TO DO TO SOMEONE.) Lamb’s ego actually did some good for a change; he didn’t want Keith arriving with Woody, so he pulled Keith off the doomed flight. Logan Houdinis away as the Marses reunite.
How many Trips to the Dentist did I take? (drink count) 10
Greasers vs. Socs + Jets vs. Sharks
Weevil gets arrested for Thumper’s murder just before he gets to cross the graduation stage for his grandma. Even though he’s a murder suspect and everything, it’s totally DAMMIT, LAMB — JUST LET THE BOY GET HIS DIPLOMA. Especially when Grandma Navarro has become vision impaired, ten-plus years older, and a completely different person since last we saw her. (Apparently, employment by the Echolls had been keeping her youthful.)
File Under the Bus Crash
Um, everything?
Also, Cassidy’s suicide means Kendall can’t cash in off of her stepson’s death. His real estate company, however, is worth over eight million dollars (benefits of betting against incorporation when you’re blackmailing to prevent it). And everything is already under Kendall’s name…
Life on Mars
So, UGH Aaron has been acquitted and he even Nixon poses. He’s also back in charge of Logan’s finances. (Which doesn’t make sense, because how old is Logan now? Veronica’s been 18 for almost the whole year. Maybe it’s a 21 thing? Actually: DON’T CARE, MOVING ON.) And in case you’ve stopped barfing at the injustice, cue those gag reflexes because Aaron and Kendall are definitely fucking. But my beloved Clarence Wiedman puts us all out of our misery when he SHOOTS AARON DEAD! At behest of Duncan, thus finally justifying the donut’s existence. (It’s also a very nice existence that he has now, building sandcastles with Baby Lilly in Australia.)
ANYWAY. It’s graduation day! Or at least Veronica’s dream of it, in a world in which Lilly hadn’t died — meaning she’s Wig Veronica from the flashbacks but with better style. Aside from Lilly being alive, the big changes are UGH Lianne (even if it’s topsy-turvy good Lianne); Wallace never even meeting V.; and, of course, VERONICA’S WITH LOGAN. And they are happy and they are smiley and UGH isn’t it nice when they smile?
But real graduation day now! (There’s a teeny bit of time discrepancy, since they’re Class of ’06 but they’re having their ten-year reunion for the movie. It makes more sense, with the actors’ ages.) Anyhoooo, Veronica is stunned by her warm reception.
And to wrap up those loose ends of Jackie’s: Wallace is following his heart to Paris for her!… only she’s not in Paris; she’s in Brooklyn. Her mom isn’t a glamourous model; she’s a waitress who’s been taking care of Jackie’s two year old son. (My problems with this resolution that have no bearing on the rest of the show: why did even Terrence think that Jackie was going to the Sorbonne? If Jackie made the deal with her parents to go to Neptune when her son was born, why did she only move there last year? Again: DON’T CARE. But I think of things.) Anyway, Jackie intercepts Wallace at JFK Airport. She ‘fesses up to that and her troubled past, and she’s being written off the show staying in New York.
Speaking of New York, that’s where the Mars Family Graduation Trip is taking place!… if Keith ever gets to the airport, that is. Kendall has a briefcase full of somethin’ that convinces Keith to ditch Veronica at the airport.
Lastly: THIS. FINALLY. AGAIN.
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Mac
LOVE YOU, MAC.
Best Reminder That It’s 2006 (That Hasn’t Been Replaced by Something a Smartphone Can Do)
Back in the days before the WB/UPN merger, this show’s fate had been rather shaky. (And after it, too.) So the convo between Duncan and Clarence Wiedman was meta before meta was a meme.
Duncan: “CW?”
Clarence: “It’s a done deal.”
And the Snark Award Goes To…: Logan
Logan, to Kendall: “I didn’t know you could come out during daylight hours.”
This is more like snark-lite, but I like a Charisma Carpenter vampire reference.
Neptune Cameo
The credits finally stop being a liar, since Teddy Dunn shows up one last time. But no one new!
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “Time Flies Tomorrow” by Paul Westerberg
Aww, I don’t want to pick the Cassidy song. Too sad.
That’s a wrap on Season 2, y’all! What was your fave episode? There really wasn’t one that I LOOOOVED every single second of, though I always like the season-end reveal episodes. And the epic episode, minus the the last minute or two.
Coming up next week is a new season and a new recapper! Sarah is kindly taking over for me, since I refuse to acknowledge don’t own Season 3. (My personal strategy for catching up is to read Sarah’s recaps while staring at photos of Chris Lowell.)
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