Holy robot revolution, Batman! Things really reached cray level orange last week with the discovery that the machines are experimenting on humans by trying to turn them into robots. Guys, machines can be scary. Remember that time Captain Picard was assimilated and became Locutus of Borg? Or that episode of Battlestar Galactica where the cylons sent Starbuck to that baby farm where they tried to harvest hybrid babies inside of kidnapped fertile women? Seriously Boehner robots, get out of my uterus!!!
Eh hem. Anyhoo, the majority of you all chose to D. Signal to Rolex that he should try to take the stun gun and you’ll distract the guard for him.
Oh good, I don’t see how anything could possibly go wrong with this decision! Let’s begin!
Chapter 21: Ready For Your Final Appointment
You realize you are not very interested in finding out what exactly your appointment involves. They wiped your memory once already and since that didn’t keep you out of trouble, there is no way the machines are going to go that easy on you a second time.
Rolex’s eyes keep flickering nervously toward the manbot’s stun gun. Rolex is closer to the guard – perhaps if you can distract the guard, Rolex will be able to take it and use it? You begin signaling to Rolex. You move your eyes dramatically toward manbot’s holster.
Rolex eyes begin to bug out as soon as he realizes what you’re implying. No! you hear him hiss under his breath. Trust me, you whisper in an exaggerated manor so Rolex can read your lips. I know what I’m doing, you think, I apparently led this resistant, after all. Maybe they can wipe my memory, but certainly not my instincts?
If the guard has either cared about or noticed your wild gesturing, he hasn’t made it obvious. Now for a distraction. You fall down on one knee and give out a loud, embellished squeal. “My ankle!” you rasp. “It must have gotten twisted on my way here. The tranqs are wearing off and OOWWWW” you finish with a dramatic flare.
Rolex is looking more nervous than ever but you don’t see what choice you have. “Mr. Manbo – er, I mean Guard, Sir, could you help me? My ankle, it’s twisted. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to get to my…appointment. On my own. A little help, please?”
“Affirmative” the guard answers and turns toward your direction. “Ow ow ow” you keep yelping as the guard comes closer. As soon as his back is fully in Rolex’s direction, you shout “nOOWW”, a hint of an ‘N’ sound in front of your ‘oww’ing that you hope the Guard won’t pick up on. Rolex obviously has picked up what you were putting down, because his hand darts out and grabs the stun gun.
The whole thing is over so fast, you barely had time to process. As soon as Rolex had the stun gun in his hand, the guard turned around, grabbed Rolex’s throat and shoved him against the wall so fast you barely had time to let out a gasp. The guard was squeezing his mechanical grip even harder, Rolex’s barely audible moan disappearing to nothing.
In all the commotion the stun gun had fallen to the floor. Without thinking, you leap toward it. You picked it up and hold it in your hands. Shit, you think. How do I fire this damn thing? You point what you hope is the front of the gun toward the guard. You press down on every part of the gun until you reach a small red button. The gun goes off and you hear a noise somewhere between a sentry colliding with a wall and vid screen getting hit with a hammer.
Smoke begins to clear around the guard. He drops Rolex, who falls with a sickening thud on the hard cell floor. The guard turns in your direction and begins heading your way, despite the large, smoking hole in his chest. “Stand down” he says. “I repeat. Stand down.” You fire the gun at him again. The sun hits in the shoulder. He staggers back but keeps on coming. “Shit!” you say. “Shit shit shit! How do I set this to kill!?”
Realizing your gun is not going to do the trick nearly as quickly as you’ll need to avoid his robo-grip, you aim the gun toward his legs. You quickly take four shots, two at each knee. The robo guard falls over and hits the ground with a deafening clang. You tentatively walk closer to check on his status. You bend down to take a closer look at his face. His eyes are wide open, starting at you. He blinks.
You yelp and jump up. “Stand down” he says. “Uhhh, I’m not sure you’re in any position to be giving me orders.” You put the stun gun point blank against the guard’s head and give one last blast. That should do the trick.
I can’t believe it! I just killed a goddamn robot! Before the excitement can sweep you too far off your feet, you remember. Rolex! You rush over to him. “Rolex?” you says quietly, turning him over. “Are you okay?” His eyes are closed and he says nothing. You place your head down near his chest, to hear where his heart should be beating. Still nothing.
A giant sob wracks your whole body as you realize the truth. Rolex is dead. And it’s your fault. How could I have been so wreckless and selfish. Putting Rolex in danger like that. It should have been me. Shaking and crying, you reach for Rolex’s glasses which had fallen to the floor nearby. You set them gently back on his face. There, you think. That looks better. His limbs and all askew and you move one of his arms and rest it on his chest.
You reach to move the other arm, which oddly, is in his pocket. As you remove it, part of an envelope is visible. You reach further into him pocket and remove the envelope and what you can only guess is a key. It’s made of metal and has a long thin protrusion with different etchings along it. This is old school and you’ve only seen one in pictures. You pocket it and turn over the envelope. You gasp. Written on the front is:
Please Open and Read in the Occurrence of the Untimely and Unfortunate Death of Rolex.
Do you:
A. Read it, immediately. How could you not? Never mind where you are.
B. Pocket it and get the hell out of dodge? Who knows when other guards will begin to show up and see what you’ve done.
C. Get out of the cell but see if you can find where they’re keeping Tiny? If you find him, he can probably show you the way out.
D. Find another guard to bring you to your appointment? You need to help anyone else getting an “appointment” and you’re feeling a lot braver with a stun gun equipped.
