About:
Veronica Mars S1.E12 “Clash of the Tritons”
Veronica Mars S1.E13 “Lord of the Bling”
Trips to the Dentist: 24
Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Players: Mac, ?, and Logan, by Default
Welcome back to the rewatch, Marshmallows! So I know I’m unabashedly a Troy stan, but I love Leo, too! I pretty much love Veronica and anyone together. Well, except those other two.
Anyway! In honour of Deputy D’Amato’s arrival, let’s revisit the gun show together:
The Official FYA Veronica Mars Season 1 Drinking Game
Take a drink every time:
- Someone says “Veronica Mars”, even when they know full well who she is and there’s no other Veronica in all of Neptune
- Veronica uses her camera
- Mars family members hug (Backup counts!)
- Backup appears
- Someone mentions the 90909 zip code or ’09ers
- Someone uses a disguise/alias/fake voice
- A character, initially introduced as good, turns out to be a baddie (or vice versa)
- Fisticuffs occur
- Veronica has a meeting in a bathroom
- Logan’s voicemail greeting is heard
- A Taser is used
- Veronica mentions ponies or unicorns
- Lilly appears in a flashback
- Pour one out when it’s her corpse
Onto the episodes!
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 1.11 “Silence of the Lamb”
Word’s getting around Neptune High that Veronica’s, like, really good at this detective business. She takes on side jobs of digging up family secrets, including those of our girl Mac, who had actually been switched at birth. (Wow, that could be its own TV show or something.)
Meanwhile! Mars Investigations proper has been brought on as a consultant on a thought-to-be-solved serial killer case. (Gee, the Neptune Sheriff’s department got a murder investigation wrong? You don’t say!) Sheriff Lamb is not taking well to Keith being more competent than him. But he should really get used to it, because Keith stops the killer in time to save a life — thanks to a rookie deputy named Leo.
And this is super unimportant, but I couldn’t help noticing that this episode was aired out of order — Madison’s birthday bash being a fall rite of passage, and all the Christmas decorations (plus the next episode actually referring to the Christmas stabbing). And now you know, too.
How many Trips to the Dentist did I take? (drink count) 8
A Long Time Ago, We Used to Be Friends
No flashbacks!
File Under Lilly Kane’s Murder
Now that Keith’s back in with the Sheriff’s department (at least temporarily), Veronica sees an in to dig around for the recording of the Abel Koontz anonymous tip. With a few assists from Weevil and Mac (and some flirting with a certain deputy, who shamelessly flirts back), Veronica identifies the mysterious caller as none other than head of security for Kane Software, Clarence Wiedman — who then receives a package of surveillance photos of himself. Turnabout’s fair play, Clarence. GAME ON.
Life on Mars
Veronica quickly becomes acquainted with Deputy Leo and his false promises of a tearaway uniform. Even though Deputy Marblemouth saves Keith from the E-String Strangler, he gets suspended for missing evidence on his watch (thanks to you-know-who). Courtship over. (… Or is it?!)
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Mac
Funny that Veronica’s the one warning Mac not to dig too deep into a secret. Anyway, Mac is curious to know what life would have been like with her biological parents, esp. since that life is being occupied by the awful Madison Sinclair. It’s pretty much the nerd dream of books and travelling (and, presumably, also of books on travelling). She also shares some very bittersweet moments with her biological sister and mother.
The only thing foible I have with this storyline is the whole nature vs. nurture thing. Mac is totally like the Sinclairs, but Madison is def. not a NASCAR girl. The Sinclairs are pretty awesome, and the MacKenzies are sweet in their own misguided way. So why is Madison so terrible? Are certain people just predisposed to be horrible human beings who don’t know how to wear a proper shirt? But this has also given me an excuse to use the word foibles, so.
Best Reminder That It’s 2004 (That Hasn’t Been Replaced by Something a Smartphone Can Do)
Mac suggests combining superpowers with Veronica for a web business that digs up dirt on anyone, which is just called Google and Facebook now. (Though the Justice League of Neptune were right about it making them filthy rich.)
And the Snark Award Goes To…: Gabe the E-String Strangler
Gabe may kill people, but he also slays them — with laughter.
Lamb: “Strapping on a guitar. Does it get rid of feelings of inadequacy?”
Gabe: “Does strapping on a gun?”
Neptune Cameos
- Max Greenfield as Deputy Leo. Deputy Leo is here! I can’t wait for all the words he’s going to mumble.
- Aaron Paul as Eddie, the amateur ‘filmmaker’ suspect. Yo, it’s Jesse Pinkman! BITCH.
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “The Way You Are” by 46bliss
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 1.12 “Clash of the Tritons”
Random student Tim is in a coma because of alcohol poisoning, and his friend Rick claims they got their fake IDs from Veronica Mars (drink!). Understandably upset from being suspended and hauled away in handcuffs, Veronica confronts Rick, who blames it on the Tritons, a secret society at Neptune High. Veronica’s in even more of a rush to clear her name when Tim’s parents are threatening to sue everyone for millions of dollars. Because, y’know, their poor son played no role whatsoever in drinking himself into oblivion.
The Tritons turn out to be a bunch of dorks who have seen The Skulls too many times. (Or maybe not. I’ve never seen The Skulls too many times.) They’re guilty of locking Veronica in the trunk of her car OMFG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU SAC OF DOUCHEHOLES, but they’re not the ones framing Veronica for the shoddily made fakes. As someone who appreciates fine craftsmanship, I feel ya, V.
That’s all on Rick, who couldn’t measure up to his family’s sausage fest Triton legacy and has a vendetta against the Marses. Rick blames Keith for ruining his family, because Keith turned his dad in for embezzling money. But the good kind of embezzling! Like a modern-day Robin Hood! Who robs from the rich and, uh, gives to himself. Sure, Rick — your dad’s situation was shitty. But that doesn’t suddenly make embezzling LEGAL. In other words: CRY ME A RIVER.
Was Tim’s reasoning supposed to make him sympathetic? Because it clearly didn’t work for me. TONS of people deal with money woes without resorting to crime. The Mooncalf Collective was much better at highlighting the moral ambiguity of detective work. And also: Casey.
Speaking of detective-izing, Aaron has hired Keith to look into who’s been selling stories of his infidelity to the tabloids. (Uh, anyone? He’s done a piss poor job of hiding it thus far.) It’s none other than disgruntled Lynn, who’s fed up with her aggressive, adulterous, and abusive husband. I WONDER WHY. Anyway, Lynn self-medicates and drives off — only for her car to be later found abandoned on the side of a bridge…
How many Trips to the Dentist did I take? (drink count) 6
A Long Time Ago, We Used to Be Friends
Not exactly flashbacks, but Keith’s guidance counsellor ex provides an outlet for the three guys in Lilly’s life to reminisce about the time leading up to her death. (No, not guys in that way; Duncan’s involved. And he’s certainly not the type to want to sleep with his own sister. Noooope.)
Lilly had gone back to Logan — again — and Weevil expressed his feels in stalker letters… which Lilly used as proof for transferring out of their class together. And that’s why you always never leave a note!
When Lilly had broken up with Logan — again — he made out with someone else, which was then reported back to Lilly by dutiful BFF Veronica. So Logan blames Veronica, blames himself, and blames Lilly for how things turned out, murder-wise.
Duncan discloses that he’s off the anti-depressants, but still on the regular stuff. (Regular stuff, eh?) He also admits to missing a HUGE chunk of time before and after Lilly’s death. Ruh-roh.
File Under Lilly Kane’s Murder
No new clues! (… Or are there?!)
Life on Mars
Gross, Veronica called Duncan cute. She didn’t mean it as an invitation to open-mouth kiss, but still.
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): ?
No real standouts — although Wallace makes the most of his appearances, per yoohz. But how about props for the writing team for planting the seeds of continuity? Among the shoutouts from this episode: Wallace’s basketball career, Trina Echolls, and maybe even the coffee shop that Veronica later works at (spoiler alert).
Best Reminder That It’s 2005 (That Hasn’t Been Replaced by Something a Smartphone Can Do)
Wallace makes a shoutout to Candid Camera, and 1983 is used as the birth year on a fake ID. Let’s all cry and be old now.
And the Snark Award Goes To…: Veronica
Veronica catches Rick, by writing on a bill used to buy a fake ID. The message?
Neptune Cameo
No new faces! Just a lot of Duncan’s UGH.
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “All They Ever Do Is Talk” by Earlimart
I know that Kristen Bell sings in this one, but I’ve HATED “One Way or Another” ever since the cast of Sabrina the Teenage Witch covered it. And this is not a democracy; it’s a cheer-ocracy.
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 1.13 “Lord of the Bling”
Yolanda Hamilton has gone missing, and her rap producer father Bone suspects someone from his long list of enemies. Bone can’t go to the police — y’know, cred with his constituency — but Keith isn’t having much luck, either.
Veronica traces a ransom drop to Bone’s son Bryce, who was sick of being a disappointment because he IS smart. But Yolanda had never been abducted at all; she was only eloping with the son of Bone’s enemy, and the newlyweds won’t be coming back until the new in-laws hug it out.
How many Trips to the Dentist did I take? (drink count) 10
A Long Time Ago, We Used to Be Friends
Yolanda had also once been the new girl in school, and her very first friend in Neptune was Veronica. The two of them plus Lilly were becoming fast friends — until Veronica spots Yolanda and Logan kissing at a party in Lilly’s absence. Lilly totally shuts out Yolanda from the ’09er inner circle, and Veronica follows suit.
File Under Lilly Kane’s Murder
No new clues!
Life on Mars
Ummm, Keith hurt his back and Wallace has a new haircut? Not much happened in Veronica’s life, y’all.
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Logan, by Default
It’s Lynn’s wake, and the Echolls household is in mourning. Well, as much as revisionist historian Aaron, absentee Trina, and in-denial Logan can be. Laterwards, Logan is at Veronica’s doorstep, asking her to find his mother. Cliff(-McCormick-)hanger!
Best Reminder That It’s 2005 (That Hasn’t Been Replaced by Something a Smartphone Can Do)
Lilly narrows down the choice of her next boyfriend to Jude Law or Colin Farrell. Choose better, Lilly.
And the Snark Award Goes To…: Veronica
It’s not snark, but this line beckons to be picked. BECKONS.
Neptune Cameo
- Anthony Anderson as Bone Hamilton. But seriously, why would you rename yourself Bone? That only makes me think of the seventh grade boy’s definition of bone, because I am extremely immature.
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “The Bomb” by Pharcyde
Since Dime Bag’s greatest hits, “Shot My Boo” and “Thuggin'”, are unavailable, this will do. Plus, 1) foreshadowing in the title, and 2) it has a random reference to Dragon Ball Z.
That’s it for this week, y’all! Next up is Guest Star Bonanza, aka “Mars vs. Mars”, “Ruskie Business”, and “Betty and Veronica.”
I leave you with some super unimportant questions that I might as well bring up now, before the fans start being hit by shit. So Lilly was a year older than basically EVERYONE she hung out with. Is this not weird? I can kind of see her only wanting to hang out with adoring fans, but her best friend, her boyfriend, her secret boyfriend — all younger. (And callback: why were Weevil and Lilly in P.E. together? Did Lilly take Remedial P.E.? Or Weevil Advanced P.E.?) Also, Veronica and Duncan were Neptune High’s It Couple when they were sophomores? Is that also a thing that happens? Or can all of the above be answered by money?
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