Come little children, gather round, for it’s almost October and Disney+ will soon be releasing the long-awaited sequel to everyone’s favorite childhood Halloween movie, Hocus Pocus. In honor of this momentous occasion (or at the very least, because it’s October), we are ALL going to be watching Hocus Pocus in the near future. Yes, this is a broad generalization, and yes, I feel confident about it.
Another broad generalization is that you’ve all probably watched Hocus Pocus at least once since you were an actual child, and are aware that like many classic 90s kid movies, it is CHOCK full of jokes for adults. I mean, the entire plot hinges on Max being a virgin, a concept that 8-year-old Rosemary could not wrap her undeveloped brain around in 1993. (Why would there be a word for a person who HASN’T done something? Shouldn’t the name be reserved for someone who HAS done something?)
That being the case, I think it’s safe to assume that this movie is RIPE for an FYA drinking game. So pour a drink (or six), grab yourself a chocolate-covered finger of a man named Clark, invite the other members of your coven over, and rewatch this childhood favorite through an all new lens.
The Official FYA Hocus Pocus Drinking Game
Take a drink:
- Every time someone says “virgin”
- Every time you see an adult in a costume
- Every time Sarah is horny
- Every time someone references boobs in any way
- Every time someone says “the black flame candle”
- Every time the Sanderson sisters worship Satan
Take a shot:
- Every time a Sanderson sister does a musical number
- Every time Winnie’s book opens its eye
- Every time Max tricks the Sanderson sisters with modern technology
Chug the length of:
- Every one of Winnie’s “boooooook” calls
- Whenever the sisters are sucking the soul out of someone
Finish your drink:
- Every time someone says “Hocus Pocus”
Pour one out:
- Every time Thackery Binx loses a life
Bonus for West Coasters:
- Take a drink every time someone makes a joke about Los Angeles.
