About:
Veronica Mars S2.E07 “Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner”
Veronica Mars S2.E08 “Ahoy, Mateys!”
Trips to the Dentist: 24
Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Players: Cliff, Um…?, and Logan
We’re taking a break from last week’s comment discussion of characters of questionable likeability, because this rewatch is all about Neptune’s greatest natural resource: shitty parents! All except for Keith and, like, one other dude in this set of episodes. Let’s do it!
The Official FYA Veronica Mars Season 2 Drinking Game
Take a drink every time:
- Someone says “Veronica Mars”, even when they know full well who she is and there’s no other Veronica in all of Neptune
- Veronica uses her camera
- Mars family members hug (Backup counts!)
- Backup appears
- Someone mentions the 90909 zip code or ’09ers
- Someone uses a disguise/alias/fake voice
- A character, initially introduced as good, turns out to be a baddie (or vice versa)
- Fisticuffs occur
- Veronica has a meeting in a bathroom
- Logan’s voicemail greeting is heard
- A Taser is used
- Veronica mentions ponies or unicorns
- The communal argyle shirt appears
- Someone says “bus crash”
Onto the episodes!
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 2.6 “Rat Saw God”
Remember Abel Koontz? You know — convicted not-murderer Abel Koontz, whose daughter Amelia took hush money from the Kanes (and gave me a reason to link back to that rewatch). Abel’s health has worsened, and he just wants to see Amelia one last time before he dies. Veronica’s investigation has her crossing paths again with head of security for Kane Software, Clarence Wiedman.
(Real talk: Is Clarence Wiedman kind of hot? He totally is, right? That sexy voice and his extreme proficiency at his job… Just have to overlook that whole trained ruthless killer part, I mean.)
ANYHOO. Amelia has been murdered, but not before she extorted more money from the Kanes. A badly photoshopped picture reveals that Amelia’s Argentinian son-of-a-diplomat boyfriend is behind it all, in a detail that’s not really important nor explained particularly well (other than, “YUP! He dunnit.”). All you really need to know is that Clarence Wiedman is taking care of it, while Veronica visits Abel on his deathbed and tells him a comforting lie that Amelia is well and on her way.
How many Trips to the Dentist did I take? (drink count) 9
Greasers vs. Socs + Jets vs. Sharks
The eyewitness from the bridge on the night of Felix’s murder has come forward. Except it’s a totally different guy, and Logan gets arrested for Felix’s murder again. Is it only double jeopardy when it’s in an Ashley Judd movie it goes to trial? (Meh, don’t care.)
Logan ends up jailed with Aaron, who’s between prison cells at the moment. Daddy Dearest is feigning innocence — hey, that kid with epilepsy totally killed his sister! — but Logan ain’t buying it, on account of Aaron’s record of trying to murder Logan’s girlfriends.
On top of their rep taking a hit of late, the PCHers are PISSED when Logan makes bail. And wouldn’t you know it, the Echolls McMansion goes up in flames shortly afterwards. There’s a lot of trash talk (and MAN, was Hot Connor right about Logan needing to cool it with the racist jabs*), which leads to Logan buying Weevil’s house and evicting the Navarro family.
* What about the girl that they were both in love with? Or how Weevil’s grandmother had been the Echolls’ housekeeper for a decade? You’d think that these two would have more creative insults.
File Under the Bus Crash
The bus wreckage has finally been recovered, but when Keith calls Lamb out for the lack of progress in the case, Lamb is all “You’re just mad because I won Sheriff! Stop being such a sore loser!” and totally spills the beans about Veronica’s name being on the dead Curly’s hand (which puts Keith in super protective papa mode again, interrogating Aaron about his connection to Curly). Keith breaks into the holding facility for the bus, and finds a rat taped to the bottom of a seat — aka the source of the stench that prompted the ’09ers to take Dick’s limo home (not a euphemism).
Life on Mars
So yeah, Keith lost a close race for Sheriff because he’d rather lose with honour. Woody Goodman is the new mayor, because Steve Guttenberg needs to stick around for his storyline to play out.
Meanwhile, Logan and Dick bond over having boners for each other’s moms and mom-types. Newly unhoused Logan also moves into Duncan’s place at the Neptune Grand, because what was so wrong with the suite next door in which he had sexed Kendall? Oh, right — wacky hijinks like this wouldn’t ensue (drink!):
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Cliff
I was really tempted to choose Clarence Wiedman, but Cliff is just magic. He really is the best mediocre attorney that a court can appoint.
Best Reminder That It’s 2005 (That Hasn’t Been Replaced by Something a Smartphone Can Do)
Wow, the VM writers really don’t like Tara Reid, do they? Because she gets slammed again for no other reason than being an easy target. Her life choices haven’t affected anyone but herself and, like, Carson Daly, right? Am I missing something? Leave Tara alone! (Also overheard on Buffy… )
Other outdated references: Amelia having a Palm Pilot, and Logan wanting to be in an Olsen twin sandwich.
And the Snark Award Goes To…: Logan
I’d really like to just bottle up the banter between Cliff and Logan, but this moment is much more GIF-able.
Neptune Cameo
- Joss Whedon as Douglas, the car rental employee of the month. His character works with one of the few contestants from America’s Next Top Model who I can still recognize.
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “Girl on the Bus” by Kissinger
Not a lot of choice, since the site I’m using only identifies one song for this ep. And that one song is requiring more than 5 minutes to find, so I give up.
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 2.7 “Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner”
Duncan’s been skipping school because no one wants him there he finally went through Meg’s emails and learned that one of her babysitting charges is being mentally abused. (I’ll tell you right now, that shit would not have flown in Stoneybrook.) Apparently, Neptune is full of psycho kids and pervy dads, but none of the boys Meg babysat fit the bill. That’s because Meg lied to protect the child’s identity — it’s actually her youngest sister, gasp. When Veronica and Duncan find the littlest Manning locked literally in a hole in the wall and with stacks of incriminating admonishment notebooks, Mr. Manning calls the Sheriff on them, on account of all the breaking and entering they did to discover said child abuse. Mr. Manning is also a real gentleman, adamantly proclaiming that Veronica is a “filthy, lying whore”. Thankfully, even Lamb — a former victim of child abuse himself — can see through the bullshizz. He intimidates Manning from ever pulling that crap off again. (Yay for actual-but-not-really police work!)
How many Trips to the Dentist did I take? (drink count) 5
Greasers vs. Socs + Jets vs. Sharks
Logan needs Veronica’s help, and a bathroom meeting (drink!) has him feeling nostalgic. (US TOO, LOGAN.) He wants to know who’s posing as the eyewitness on the night of the bridge fight. The mystery man: Dr. Tom Griffith, respectable plastic surgeon… who has ties to a known drug dealing front. OK, not so respectable anymore!
Elsewhere, newly elected Balboa County Supervisor Woody Goodman wants to incorporate the county into a city — one that conspicuously only includes the wealthy districts. Because that won’t exacerbate the inequality problems AT ALL. I swear, some of these storylines could be a pre-recession/Occupy reminder all on their own.
File Under the Bus Crash
Sigh, I’m already groaning at myself for this immature innuendo: Keith presses hard on Woody for more info, but there are no new developments in the case. (Aren’t you glad that Woody doesn’t have more scenes with Dick and Beav?) In other news, Woody’s red golf shirt reminds me of Tiger Woods’ red shirt, and, of course, Ron Swanson‘s red shirt. And then now I’m associating Ron’s reason for wearing red shirts with Woody and BLEH GROSS but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Life on Mars
So blah blah blah, Veronica and Duncan are still dating, even though she’d rather quote along to The Big Lebowski than make out with him. SO WOULD WE ALL. Esp. since the movie would be a better distraction from ICK Kendall and Logan still boning in the next room.
But alas, Klogall — coincidentally, the gagging sound I make when I think about this relationship (or the name of a Kardashian spawn, whichevs) — is not long for this world. With Big Dick on the lam*, Kendall’s effectively cut off and looking for a new sugar daddy. Er, sugar son? In any case, it’s all gross, and Logan sees through her transparent attempt. And sigh, he’s kind of gross about it, too.
* Yes, I wanted to add a ‘b’ to the end of that.
Honestly, they’re pretty terrible here. But at least they’re both upfront about disgusting…? Anyway, GLAD THAT’S OVER. Before she leaves, Kendall totally tries her luck across the suite — naked in Duncan’s bathroom, obvs. But it’s unclear what — or who? — went down.
Over at Neptune High, Veronica’s jostling with Beaver for the top spot in the Future Business Leaders of America stock market game. (And, really, I just wanted to use ‘jostle’ today.) She’s also getting along with new girl Gia — mostly for investigative purposes, since Meg had babysat for the Goodmans — but Veronica bolts when Gia turns a hang into an ambush girls’ night, with Madison Sinclair in attendance and crashed by the Casablancas bros.
And during the B&E at the Mannings’, Duncan secretly pocketed an envelope that Meg hid. Omg what could it all mean!?
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Um…?
By process of elimination, I guess it’s Lamb? Or how about The Dude? Can I pick The Dude? (Since I make the rules: the answer is YES.)
Best Reminder That It’s 2005 (That Hasn’t Been Replaced by Something a Smartphone Can Do)
Rihanna’s “Pon de Replay” is the go-to sleepover jam at Gia’s. Wait, just exactly how many songs does Rihanna have for giving instructions to DJs?
And the Snark Award Goes To…: Veronica
In sex ed, when Gia is wondering if the name of an STD is actually a flower:
Mrs. Hauser: “No, Gia. Chlamydia is not a flower.”
Gia: “Well, we have it on, like, a trellis at our beach house.”
Veronica: “Your trellis is a whore.”
Trufax: I once overheard a convo with someone whose name is actually Chlamydia. I can only hope that the name is less common than the disease.
Plus! When Veronica has to cover for a prohibited visitor during one of her babysitting gigs:
Neptune Cameo
No one new, really. But back when I still watched Dexter (and it sounds like I made a great decision in quitting early), Dr. Tom Griffith (Rick Peters) played Elliot the neighbour who hit on Rita.
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “Run” by Air
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 2.8 “Ahoy, Mateys!”
The parents of bus crash victim Marcos Oliveres have been getting harassed for months, and they want Keith to prove that the school district is doing it to get the Oliveres to drop their negligence lawsuit. The investigation incidentally uncovered Marcos’ pirate radio alter ego — and his gay alter ego, which prompted his parents to send him to conversion camp. Marcos’ sort-of boyfriend pranked the Oliveres because he blames them for Marcos going on the field trip in the first place, in order to win back the parents’ approval. While that shit show sounds HORRIFIC — to bury a child and then get mercilessly harassed about it — the Oliveres also try to scam more money out of the school board.
How many Trips to the Dentist did I take? (drink count) 10
Greasers vs. Socs + Jets vs. Sharks
Veronica and Logan look into one of Dr. Griffith’s former patients, who they find at the Fighting Fitzpatricks hangout, The River Stix. (There’s also a callback to the JTT punch — you know, this episode? STOP RUBBING IT IN, SHOW.) Veronica is in trubs when her real identity is discovered by Liam Fitzpatrick — in case you hadn’t clued in on that Irish part yet. Logan comes to her aid, by pulling out a freaking gun. (Really? None of these Fighting Fitzpatricks carry a concealed firearm? Not even a shotgun behind the bar? And who says there’s a crime problem in Neptune?)
Meanwhile! Weevil gets wind of cocaine being sold by a PCHer, but that’s sooooo not what the PCHers are about, y’all! (See? The most non-criminal criminal element.) When Veronica accuses the PCHers of being in bed with the Fitzpatricks*, since their lackey is the star witness in Felix’s case, Weevil becomes more suspicious of someone undermining his au-thor-i-tah.
* Their bitter enemies, because… why? Just criminal turf wars? Because a group of grown men against teenage bikers sounds like the makings of a great rivalry. Esp. one that hasn’t been mentioned at all until this season.
Weevil also learns that none of his boys actually saw Logan stab Felix, but he vows to find out the truth. (Clearly been hanging out too much with Veronica.) So then Logan gets abducted and interrogated, while his kidnappers play (hopefully fake) Russian roulette with Logan’s hand and genitals. (Omg he needs those!!! Especially together, since he’s stopped hooking up with Kendall.) When Logan confesses that he doesn’t remember anything, he gets dumped off on a beach, miraculously complying with his ankle monitor throughout the entire ordeal. Logan also figures out that the PCHers were behind it, and he lets Weevil know that there’ll be hell to pay.
File Under the Bus Crash
See: all that stuff about Marcos.
Life on Mars
UGH Duncan has Madonna/Whore dreams about Meg and Veronica, because of course he does. And Veronica is really shaken over the River Stix incident, but not because her own life was in danger:
OMG YOU LOVE EACH OTHER, JUST GET BACK TOGETHER ALREADY. (Although rationally speaking, I can see why Veronica wants to distance herself from Logan, because that road only leads to heartache and stress. But things will totally be different at the reunion — right, Logan? RIGHT?!)
Oh, right. Duncan finally opens that letter of Meg’s, because all TV characters have difficulties with opening envelopes in a timely manner. He’s all surprised face before cut to black.
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Logan
Usually, I’d give this to Mac just for appearing, on account of duh. But yeah, this is a pity pick. Even if it’s a well earned pity pick, since the dude did get his life threatened, and he did rescue Veronica.
Best Reminder That It’s 2005 (That Hasn’t Been Replaced by Something a Smartphone Can Do)
No major violations. And I don’t want to get too soapbox-y, but I wish I could pick gay-to-straight camps as the episode’s archaic reference.
And the Snark Award Goes To…: ?
Nothing really stood out to me. Maybe the running joke about Veronica’s boobs?
Neptune Cameo
- Lucas Grabreel as ’09er who overpays for shirts and probably drugs, too.
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “Dakota” by Stereophonics
I love Queens of the Stone Age, but this has a video. With green screen driving.
That’s it for this week, Marshmallows! Next up is “My Mother, the Fiend”, “One Angry Veronica”, and “Donut Run” — so YEAH. We’re gonna have A LOT to discuss.
But back to this rewatch: it reeeaally highlighted Veronica’s lack of friends to me. Wallace’s presence provided a much-needed counterbalance to all the MYSTERIES! BOYS! dramz. Plus, Keith barely interacts with Veronica during this stretch. It’s like the show’s trying too hard to maintain Veronica’s outsider status, and it ends up straying too far from what made it so enjoyable in the first place. Did you have an issue with Veronica’s isolation too? Or did you like these episodes more than I did?
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