About:
Veronica Mars S2.E10 “One Angry Veronica”
Veronica Mars S2.E11 “Donut Run”
Trips to the Dentist: 26
Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Players: Mac and Beaver, The Knitting Grandma, and Backup
Lots to get to today, y’all! And as advertised, this is the last time (ish) we have to waste virtual breath talking about Duncan. So let’s get started!
The Official FYA Veronica Mars Season 2 Drinking Game
Take a drink every time:
- Someone says “Veronica Mars”, even when they know full well who she is and there’s no other Veronica in all of Neptune
- Veronica uses her camera
- Mars family members hug (Backup counts!)
- Backup appears
- Someone mentions the 90909 zip code or ’09ers
- Someone uses a disguise/alias/fake voice
- A character, initially introduced as good, turns out to be a baddie (or vice versa)
- Fisticuffs occur
- Veronica has a meeting in a bathroom
- Logan’s voicemail greeting is heard
- A Taser is used
- Veronica mentions ponies or unicorns
- The communal argyle shirt appears
- Someone says “bus crash”
Onto the episodes!
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 2.9 “My Mother, the Fiend”
Veronica’s snooping finally catches up with her — at school, anyway. In order to preserve her eligibility for the Kane Scholarship, she makes a deal with Vice Principal Clemmons to serve detention by filing old records. Veronica gets sidetracked when she comes across Lianne’s records, and of course you can’t leave that shit lying around without Veronica looking through it.
Back in the day, Lianne had been suspended for spreading “false and malicious rumours” about another student. When Veronica finds out about a baby that was found in a bathroom during Lianne’s prom, she flimsily connects the dots that the babymama was Celeste — even insinuating as such to Celeste’s face, despite the fact that you have no proof, Veronica.
After some more convolutedness that really isn’t pertinent to other storylines, it’s revealed that the prom baby is Logan’s sister Trina, who was adopted and also the product of a student-teacher affair. And blah blah Lianne was actually so saintly and I don’t care for this attempt at character rehab, because we all know that nice Lianne Reynolds grows up to be terrible mother Lianne Mars.
Anyway, Veronica also suspects Clemmons of orchestrating the whole thing, so that she would expose the scandal and he would get promoted. Which: OK, why not? Clemmons is a fun sparring partner for Veronica without ever having ignored her allegations of rape, so I’m not opposed to more of him.
How many Trips to the Dentist did I take? (drink count) 6
Greasers vs. Socs + Jets vs. Sharks
Soooo Logan’s understandably pissed about the mild torture he suffered at the hands of the PCHers, so he and his bros jump Weevil and give him the good ol’ flagpole treatment. (What is it with this school and flagpoling? This really could have been its own drinking game rule.)
When Logan and Weevil have a bathroom confab (drink!), they reach a truce due to their common goal of finding out who killed Felix. I like how everyone else is getting in on the mystery solving gig, even if none of them are as good at it as Veronica is. Anyway, the Hardy Boys hash it out with fists (drink!) to keep up appearances, but Weevil’s leadership is still being questioned by the other PCHers.
File Under the Bus Crash
That rat Keith found taped under a seat on the school bus? Veronica is insistent that it’s a message for her, for ratting out Aaron. It’s been a recurring theme in these eps, but SIGH Veronica — sometimes, it really isn’t all about you. Although I guess there had to be REASONS! and MOTIVATION! that connect Veronica to this season’s mystery. It’s still a decent mystery (if somewhat bloated), but the first season just set the bar so high, you know?
Life on Mars
It’s the fake baby project in sex ed! But question: has anyone actually done this IRL? Because it seems like a TV invention that’s wayyyy too expensive for real schools to implement. Anyway, Veronica’s ‘parenting’ with Duncan; nothing really interesting happens with that because Duncan, other than FORESHADOWING FORESHADOWING FORESHADOWING.
Duncan does end up in the middle of Veronica and Celeste’s spat. And just when I feel like sticking up for Celeste — because Veronica’s putting their personal differences ahead of actually figuring out the truth — Celeste calls Lianne a slut. Even though Lianne had slept with her husband — CELESTE! You are a grown-ass adult! Keep your shit together and stop misdirecting your anger. Veronica almost died when she was solving the murder of your daughter. If it wasn’t for her, you’d still think that your son killed his sister! Doesn’t that give Veronica a pass from the undeserved residual Lianne hatred? You don’t have to worship at her altar, but a little civility goes a long way. (And news flash: NO ONE likes Lianne.)
AND ALSO. During the brief time that Veronica thought Celeste was Trina’s birth mother, where did Duncan factor in all of this? Did Veronica really consider what her boyfriend would feel about potentially being related to his ex-best friend’s sister? (Damn, the Kanes and the Echolls are way too intertwined.) I’m glad that even Veronica acknowledged her vendetta against Celeste, because she can be such a hellbent steamroller. Her tenacity is a part of what makes her so good at what she does, but the show was always very aware of her flaws.
Anyway. Kendall is maybe bed-hopping in the penthouse — which Duncan never contradicts. For keeping the audience in the dark, sure, but then what the hell is she referring to when she says she’s been in both Duncan and Logan’s beds? Whatevs.
But! The big news is that Veronica finally visits the comatose Meg. Who is PREGGERSSS! And Meg wakes up juuuust after Veronica leaves. OH EM GEEEE.
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Mac and Beaver
Honourable mention to Trina’s bio mom Mary, who doesn’t hesitate when she thinks Trina needs help. But omg y’all — can we pretend like we don’t know the future? Because Mac and Beaver SQUEEEEEE.
Beav hires Mac to build a website, and she’s so proud of the finished product. As per my notes: “MAC IS SO CUTE, I NEED A GIF OF THIS.” Thankfully, the internet provides.
Anyway, that website is for Beav’s new real estate business, for which he needs a figurehead to, like, actually be able to sign contracts and shit. Beav approaches stepmommy Kendall for the job, and he also confronts her for having a fire sale of everything at Casa ‘Blancas. Kendall’s super condescending, but Beav has no problems standing up for himself against her.
Best Reminder That It’s 2005 (That Hasn’t Been Replaced by Something a Smartphone Can Do)
There are a few TV shout-outs (The Surreal Life, Pat O’Brien), but I’ll give the nod to the Punk’d reference, on account of it being Mr. Kristen Bell’s big break.
And the Snark Award Goes To…: Trina and Kendall
If y’all thought there was any other choice than the Buffy mini-reunion, then DIGITAL FRIENDSHIP REVOKED.
Neptune Cameo
No one new, but that Trina and Kendall scene is perf. Esp. since Badass Willow didn’t have a lot of interaction with Bitchy Cordelia.
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “Walk Idiot Walk” by The Hives
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 2.10 “One Angry Veronica”
It’s Christmas break, but not for Veronica. She gets summoned for jury duty, but at least it’s an open and shut case. Or is it? (Spoiler: It’s not.) The case also gives an excuse to introduce the conveniently Neptune-based Hearst University.
Over at the Sheriff’s Department, someone has stolen the Lilly/Aaron sex tapes, and Woody brings Keith on to recover them. All signs point to an inside job, and the tabloids are willing to drop major coin for the tapes. But Logan buys them first, and he WATCHES them, WHYYYYYYYY STOP IT, he’s so saddddddd. Then he wipes the tapes and DESTROYS THE CRUCIAL EVIDENCE FOR CONVICTING AARON. I know that Logan doesn’t want those tapes to go public, but but but sighhh that was really unwise.
As for who swiped the tapes in the first place: it’s Leo. Sweet, beautiful Leo. His little sister has Down Syndrome, and he needed the money to send her to private school because she’s struggling in public school, socially and academically. (Aside: WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE KIDS BULLY PEOPLE WITH DOWN SYNDROME? I mean, I know that this shit happens, but you’ve got to be an incredibly vile human to do that.) (And also: damn all these cases for making me a noble criminal sympathizer. I guess there’s a lesson in that, that sometimes people are caught in bad situations. But the law’s still the law, and ARGH I hate these stealing-bread-to-feed-a-family dilemmas.)
Anyway. Deputy Leo is stripped of his badge (but sadly, not of his clothes). Keith doesn’t turn him in for the theft, but Leo takes the blame for the tapes disappearing on his watch. Oh, and this episode also reminded me of a key factor in Lamb winning me over when I first watched the show.
How many Trips to the Dentist did I take? (drink count) 6
Greasers vs. Socs + Jets vs. Sharks
Veronica’s court case is between a poor Mexican girl and two rich white boys. The jury comes to the conclusion that the rich white kids were the perpetrators, not the victims, but UGH the jerk asshole big shot who’s insistent on protecting the boys from ‘good families’ is confident that the appeal process will let them off.
File Under the Bus Crash
No updates!
Life on Mars
So, Meg’s awake. Is it just me, or did y’all totally vibe a smother moment when Duncan visited her in the hospital? Anyway, Meg makes amends with Veronica. Meg passes on her last wishes to keep her parents out of the baby’s life, before, well, passing on. The baby — Duncan’s daughter — is alive and well, though.
And in more upbeat news: WALLACE IS BACK! WALLACE IS BACK!
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): The Knitting Grandma
Damn, she caught the inconsistencies in the case before Veronica did! I’d totally watch a show with a mystery-solving knitter.
Honourable mention to Logan and Keith, in one of their rare interactions where Keith isn’t yelling at Logan to stay away from his daughter. But Logan — Lilly, the love of your life? C’MON NOW.
Best Reminder That It’s 2005 (That Hasn’t Been Replaced by Something a Smartphone Can Do)
Based on what Keith recited about Veronica’s suped up laptop (512MB of RAM, 80GB hard drive), it’s so not very state-of-the-art anymore. And Leo says that “good celebrity porn is scarce these days.” I don’t know about the good part, but look at what an innocent time that used to be.
And the Snark Award Goes To…: ?
Not a lot of snark, although Veronica mentions ponies (drink!). But this sentence to Duncan succinctly captures the ridonckulousness of this whole Meg storyline.
Veronica: “Your secret illegitimate child gestating in the womb of your comatose ex-girlfriend affects neither you nor me.”
Neptune Cameo
- Robert Maschio as Madison Harwell the sports guy. It’s Todd from Scrubs!
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “Diamond In the Mine” by Holidays On Ice
This is the song that’s playing when Veronica finds out the bad news about Meg.
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 2.11 “Donut Run”
With Meg’s death and the baby’s birth, Veronica and Duncan’s relationship is more strained than ever. They break up rather loudly and publicly, right before Duncan disappears — and as does the baby. Veronica’s accused of helping Duncan plan and finance the kidnapping. She maintains her innocence, and there’s a lot of misdirection — but obvi Veronica helped Duncan out, I don’t care what his GPA is. With the help of Vinnie, whose allegiance goes to the highest bidder, and Lamb, whose inferiority complex in the presence of the FBI plays right into the plan, Duncan flees the country while wearing an ugly disguise and with his newly renamed daughter Lilly. (Say what you will about Duncan — and I have — but the name was a nice touch. So nice that I won’t even make another incest jab, but only allude to it.)
I’m not always the most perceptive viewer, but it was a completely believable twist for me the first time around. In retrospect, Veronica and Duncan were way too heavy handed with their plan*, and this was a far better farewell than Duncan warranted.
*For instance, do high school boys fantasize about marrying a girl to the point of making her married name a password? And we never got to see it, but did Veronica wallow that much over her relationship with Logan? Or the first time around with Duncan? Watching this episode again just really highlights how super nonexistent this grand romance between Veronica and Duncan is.
How many Trips to the Dentist did I take? (drink count) 14
Greasers vs. Socs + Jets vs. Sharks
Weevil figures that the PCHer undermining his authoritah and selling drugs for the Fitzpatricks must also be the one who really stabbed Felix. His reasoning is way faulty, since his boys are just opportunistic instead of disloyal. When Logan suggests that it may have been Felix himself who was involved with the Fitzp.’s, Weevil is steadfast in the defense of his fallen lieutenant. So of course he then later finds out that Felix had been dating Molly Fitzpatrick. (Sheesh, how many subplots does this arc need?)
File Under the Bus Crash
No new clues.
Life on Mars
Duncan is gone AT LAST! Although Veronica’s looking wistfully at the fortune cookie message that rekindled their relationship: “true love stories never have endings.” That’s right, Duncan — true LoVe stories never end!
Anyway, Keith totally caught onto Veronica and Duncan’s scheme, and he’s majorly upset at Veronica for doing the I-know-what’s-right,-screw-the-consequences thing that she does. Keith tells Veronica how he can never trust her again — but really, that speech loses its poignancy, given how often he has to trot it out. Although come to think of it, that’s eerily similar to how my parents had to repeatedly lecture me on the same damn thing before the message ever sunk in. So even when I try to criticize this relationship, I’m thwarted by how freaking well done it is.
And in Duncan-less current events: Wallace is back in Neptune, because he missed the tryouts for his Chicago school. But untrue!, says the internet. Wallace discloses that he was with top basketball prospect Rashard Rucker when the latter was drinking and driving and totally committed a hit-and-run. Rashard’s agent-uncle-manager covered it up, but Wallace couldn’t live with the guilt. And now a Chicago statesman has tracked him down, wanting to know what really happened that night.
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Backup
I’m so not a fan of animals licking me (esp. on the face; I would flip shizz). But this is pretty great.
Best Reminder That It’s 2006 (That Hasn’t Been Replaced by Something a Smartphone Can Do)
A lot of name-dropping: Bobby and Whitney, Osama bin Laden, Nick and Jessica… one of these things is not like the other.
And the Snark Award Goes To…: Logan and Veronica
I don’t really like when they bitterly snipe at each other, because it hurts my heart, y’all — they belong togetherrrrr. But the elevator of sexual tension wins.
Neptune Cameo
- Lucy Lawless as Agent Morris. HECK YES — it’s Special Agent Xena! The feds totally put Lamb in his place, and there’s no one more deserving of that comeuppance. The agents also clearly delight in V. snarking on Lamb — and if this right here was what the proposed FBI season would have been like, I would have GLADLY tolerated Piz and Parker to get there.
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “Adelaide” by The Old 97’s
WELPZ. The best play-able version of this song that I can find is from the actual scene, so just ignore how it’s trying to make Veronica and Duncan into a BFD.
That’s it for this week — and that’s (mostly) it for Duncan! Our post-Donut rewatch kicks off with “Rashard and Wallace Go to White Castle”, “Ain’t No Magic Mountain High Enough”, and “Versatile Toppings”. AWW CRAP — that means Hannah, doesn’t it? But we’ll cross that bland, mismatched bridge when we come to it.
Now that her story has wrapped up, I’ll leave you with my final thoughts on Meg. OK, so this is why I have a problem with her: she was introduced as Veronica’s first non-Lilly female friend — “the last good person at Neptune High” — and their friendship deteriorated because of a boy. (Didn’t the Spice Girls teach you anything, Meg?!) Not just any boy, but DUNCAN. And Meg was just so overwhelmingly in love with Duncan that she slept with him, even though she had been with her ex for a year without doing much beyond making out. (To clarify, it’s not the sex that I have a problem with; it’s sex with Duncan.) People change and all that, sure — but Meg seemed to betray everything she used to stand for. Because of DUNCAN. It’s bad enough that it was for a boy, but HIM!? Of all people, DUNCAN?!
Meg also wanted Veronica to be OK with her dating Duncan, but couldn’t do the same when the tables were turned. OBVS the pregnancy complicated matters, and in her defense, Veronica hadn’t taken too kindly towards Meg dating Duncan, either. But as with Celeste, Meg’s anger was misplaced. Maybe she was giving Duncan shit too, but no matter what happened — you can’t steal a consenting adult. Duncan may have left Meg for Veronica, but that was his own doing. I’m glad Meg made peace with Veronica before she died, but realistic or not — I HATE that she went there in the first place.
And now that I’ve put it all into writing, maybe my hatred of Meg is misplaced too. But one thing’s certain: Duncan will never not be THE WORST. (Related: I don’t understand how people can call Piz the worst, when Duncan’s a part of the conversation.) So SMELL YA LATER, DUNCAN. The only one who’ll miss you is Teddy Dunn’s bank account.
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