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Veronica Mars S3.E05 “President Evil”
Veronica Mars S3.E06: “Hi, Infidelity”
Trips to the Dentist: 25 drinks, 4 shots
Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Players: Dick, Cliff, and Piz
Hopefully y’all are sticking with me as I delve deeper into Season Three, cos the party’s just getting started! And, like me, you may find that some of your issues with this last season disappear upon a second viewing. I may not convert you to Team Piz (yet), but I bet I can convince you that Season Three is at least as good as Season Two, if not better. GAME ON.
The Official FYA Veronica Mars Season 3 Drinking Game
Take a drink every time:
- Someone says “Veronica Mars”, even when they know full well who she is and there’s no other Veronica in all of Neptune
- Veronica uses her camera
- Mars family members hug (Backup counts!)
- Backup appears
- Someone mentions a fraternity or sorority
- Veronica uses a college cliche as a disguise
- A character, initially introduced as good, turns out to be a baddie (or vice versa)
- Fisticuffs occur
- Veronica gets some action (kissing or otherwise)
- A Taser is used
- Veronica mentions ponies, unicorns, kittens, or puppies
- The communal argyle shirt appears
Take a shot every time:
- Veronica solves a case
- Logan calls Veronica “bobcat”
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 3.4 “Charlie Don’t Surf”
Logan is running out of money, and it’s not just because he lives in a fancy hotel and orders room service steaks every night. (That has nothing to do with it. Obviously.) Veronica scours his accounting paperwork and finds a considerable amount of money going to “Aaron’s Kidz,” a foundation that apparently just benefits one person: Charlie Stone.
And guess who Charlie Stone is? Logan’s secret half brother! Oh Aaron, even in death, you still manage to screw with Logan’s life. After getting over the shock, Logan invites Charlie over for a brother bonding session, because that won’t be awkward! They hit it off swimmingly, but that’s probably because Charlie is actually Norman Phipps, a reporter for Vanity Fair. Once Veronica figures out Charlie/Norman’s sneaky plan, Logan goes on Larry King to announce the existence of his brother, who is a teacher at a local school. He succeeds in scooping Norman’s story, but he also alienates the real Charlie Stone, who just wanted to remain anonymous. Wah-wahhh.
Trips to the Dentist: 15 drinks, 2 shots (Thanks, fraternity/sorority rule!)
File Under The Hearst Rapist
In an awesome turn of events, Dick hires Veronica to clear the Pi Sig name. See, Claire, the most recent rape victim, was at the Pi Sig haunted house the night she was raped, and now the fraternity is scheduled for a hearing. Working for the Pi Sigs makes Veronica extremely popular with the Lilith House girls (psyche!), especially when she discovers that none of those bros were responsible for the rape. A photo of Claire at an ATM the night of her rape shows an Asian man behind her, and since the Pi Sigs only have one token Asian, and that’s not him, the frat is deemed innocent.
Life on Mars
Logan comes to dinner at the Mars household, which makes for a hilariously skittish Veronica, but the big news is the arrival of Harmony, who hires Keith to investigate her husband for possibly having an affair. Keith discovers that he’s innocent, but in the process, there are some MAJOR sparks flying between him and Harmony. KEITH! TURN BACK! DANGER AHEAD.
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Dick
Dick Casablancas, ALL THE WAY. Dude is in fine form in this episode, cracking jokes and effortlessly strutting that line between Charming and Asshole. There’s no sign of Sad Dick, which is great, because Sad Dick is no fun at all.
Honorable mention goes to Logan, for face punching Norman Phipps on the beach (while shirtless). So very satisfying for so many reasons.
And the Snark Award Goes To…
Veronica, when calling out Nancy (one of the rape victims) for attending the Pi Sig haunted house:
Veronica: “I heard you went to their haunted house. That must have been fun. Did you go as a hypocrite?”
Neptune Cameos
- Laura San Giacomo as Harmony. I really wish I liked Harmony but… I don’t.
- Matt Czuchry as Charlie Stone/Norman Phipps. Hey, it’s Logan from Gilmore Girls!
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “Never Lonely Alone” by Space Needle
When Logan calls the real Charlie Stone to beg for forgiveness, “Never Lonely Alone” by Space Needle provides the mournful background noise.
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 3.5 “President Evil”
While waiting for Logan to show up at Mercer’s casino on Halloween, Veronica and the other patrons get robbed by two men in president’s masks. (How very Point Break of them.) Since one of the thieves stole Lily’s necklace, it’s personal, and Veronica heads straight to Weevil’s apartment to get it back. Weevil swears he didn’t do it, but the evidence points to his guilt, so he ends up in jail. Thankfully, V saves his ass yet again by proving that the campus security guard, Harrison, was the true culprit. The mystery wraps up in an incredibly cathartic way, with Veronica yanking her stolen necklace off of Harrison’s bratty daughter. That kid is THE WORST.
Trips to the Dentist: 5 drinks, 1 shot
File Under The Hearst Rapist
A casino robbery, an athlete cheating, a kidnapping and a forced organ transplant is MORE than enough to fill 49 minutes, so I’m glad the writers didn’t try to pack in any new developments in the Hearst rapist case. JUST KIDDING, they totally did. Veronica identifies the logo on the ATM photo dude’s jacket, which turns out to be from a summer camp. Using a roster of campers, she tracks down Wang Yi, who turns out to be… Claire’s boyfriend WHAAAAT?
Life on Mars
CLIFF IS BACK! CLIFF IS BACK!
In less important news, Wallace suddenly becomes an IDIOT and decides that cheating on a test is a good idea. I blame Mason, his new friend and fellow basketball player, for being a bad influence. I also blame the writers for not including Piz in this episode and the previous one, because you KNOW he would have cautioned Wallace against cheating. (And he would have looked super cute doing so!) Wallace gets caught, but we have to wait til the next episode to find out the verdict.
And in CRAZY BONKERS news, Dean O’Dell and his wife Mindy hire Keith to find Steve Botando, Mindy’s ex and the father of her son, who is dying from bone cancer. Keith sets up a fake casting call (with Cliff performing as a totally convincing voice-over actor) to lure Steve to the office so that Mindy can beg him to be a donor for his son. Because Steve is a bad person, he says no. And then, because Dean O’Dell and Mindy are INSANE people, they kidnap him and take him to a hospital, where the transplant goes smoothly and the son is saved. Steve ends up with a fancy convertible, so I guess it’s all good?! Also, WHAT THE HELL, WRITERS?
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Cliff
Cliff! He not only performs admirably in the Steve Botando set-up, but he also defends Keith when the sheriff accuses him of kidnapping Botando. Cliff brings the law down HARD.
And the Snark Award Goes To…
Logan, who utters these lines upon seeing Weevil get arrested:
Logan: “Is it still called déjà vu when something happens more than twice, or is that something different? I’ll have to look that up.”
There also reeeeally needs to be a gif for Veronica’s exit after questioning the drama club:
Veronica: “Thank you! Good night! Here all week. Try the veal… and scene!”
Neptune Cameos
- Richard Grieco as Steve Botando. Grieco is totally believable as a deadbeat dad and washed up actor. Because, well, he looks the part. (21 Jump Street was a long time ago, you guys.)
- Robert Ri’chard as Mason. Robert has one of those faces that I instantly recognize but can’t place. He’s been in a ton of stuff.
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “Busted” by Johnny Cash
This episode has one of my favorite soundtrack moments from the whole series– Johnny Cash’s “Busted” playing as Veronica reclaims her necklace from that heinous little girl.
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 3.6 “Hi, Infidelity”
After acing her paper in Professor Landry’s class and gaining him as a mentor, Veronica is accused of plagiarism by Timothy, who says he found the original paper online. Is it just me, or does Timothy have a face that was made for punching? Veronica tracks down the “original” paper as an upload by Rory Finch, who never attended Hearst but happens to stay at the Neptune Grand from time to time. Thanks to Logan’s “friend” at the front desk, Veronica knocks on Rory Finch’s door and finds… the dean’s wife? And the man coming to meet her, with a bottle of wine under his arm, is none other than Professor Landry. Dude, you didn’t just fall off that pedestal, you JUMPED. Timothy claims that he was doing Veronica a favor by sending her on this mission, so that she would see Landry for the ass that he is, but really, he’s made us see that both men are DOUCHE CANOES.
Trips to the Dentist: 5 drinks, 1 shot
After acing her paper in Professor Landry’s class and gaining him as a mentor, Veronica is accused of plagiarism by Timothy, who says he found the original paper online. Is it just me, or does Timothy have a face that was made for punching? Veronica tracks down the “original” paper as an upload by Rory Finch, who never attended Hearst but happens to stay at the Neptune Grand from time to time. Thanks to Logan’s “friend” at the front desk, Veronica knocks on Rory Finch’s door and finds… the dean’s wife? And the man coming to meet her, with a bottle of wine under his arm, is none other than Professor Landry. Dude, you didn’t just fall off that pedestal, you JUMPED. Timothy claims that he was doing Veronica a favor by sending her on this mission, so that she would see Landry for the ass that he is, but really, he’s made us see that both men are DOUCHE CANOES.
File Under The Hearst Rapist
Veronica, having discovered that Claire’s “rapist” was actually her boyfriend (and not a rapist at all), turns her in to Dean O’Dell, who promptly expells her. And lest you think poorly of the show for including a rape fake-out, Parker reminds us that the rest of the rapes are very, very real. When she runs into Mercer at the radio station, his cologne sends a danger signal to her brain, and after Veronica finds out from Sheriff Lamb that Mercer’s stolen casino money case also included two vials of GHB (a date rape drug), it seems that we’ve nabbed the rapist!
Except we haven’t, because Logan shows up and begs Veronica for help in clearing Mercer’s name. Apparently, Logan was with him the night of Parker’s rape… but he won’t tell Veronica what they were up to. DAMN YOU LOGAN AND YOUR ENIGMATIC NATURE.
Life on Mars
Piz, obviously pining for Veronica, asks her to go bowling, like nerdy boys do. Of course, he says it’s a group thing, but when only he, Veronica and Logan show up, that makes a triangle, not a group. Fortunately, Parker (who has apparently forgiven Veronica) appears, and she quickly develops a crush on Piz because WHO WOULDN’T? She asks Veronica to find out if Piz is interested, and when Piz tells her that Parker isn’t his type, it’s basically code for YOU’RE MY TYPE, VERONICA MARS. And it is the SWEETEST.
And in an awesome fit of maturity, Wallace decides to temporarily quit the basketball team so that he can focus on his studies. I’m so proud of you, Wallace!!!
I am not, however, proud of you, Keith Mars, for pretending like you’re “just friends” with Harmony, a married woman. It seemed like you still had a good head on your shoulders, after you declined her invitation to stay in her hotel room, but then one tiny little car accident on the way home makes you lose all sense of right and wrong change your mind? I’m disappointed, but if you’re gonna make a mistake, at least you made it count with some serious kissing.
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Piz
Logan did help Veronica out with the whole Rory Finch hotel thing, BUT then he got all secretive about Mercer’s whereabouts the night of Parker’s rape.
So I have no choice but to award this to Piz for being SO ADORKABLE.
And the Snark Award Goes To…
Veronica and Logan, for this adorable exchange. (In other news, this episode was low on zingers.)
Neptune Cameo
None! Same ole faces up in this joint.
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “I’m Not in Love” by 10cc
“I’m Not In Love” by 10cc plays as Keith’s car gets hit and leads him to return to Harmony. Like the song lyrics claim, I really hope this is just a silly phase that Keith’s going through because NOOOOOO.
So, what do y’all think? Do Claire’s false rape claims piss you off or make for a better mystery? Was that transplant storyline bananas in a good way or a bad way? Also, does anyone know what Tina Majorino was up to when these three episodes were filmed? Cos Mac was nowhere in sight. NOT COOL, SHOW. Not cool. I want my big Mac back!
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