About the Book
-
Author:
- Abigail Johnson
- Genre:
- Contemporary
- Voices:
- Cis Boy
- Cis Girl
- Straight
- White (Non-Specified)
Cover Story: Paper Flowers
BFF Charm: Big Sister
Talky Talk: Push and Pull
Bonus Factors: Wheelchair Rep, Found Family
Anti-Bonus Factor: Dan Scott Award for Awful Parenting
Relationship Status: Keeping It Real
Cover Story: Paper Flowers
Black letters spell out the title of the book against a teal background, and the entire thing is covered in paper flowers. A boy with long hair and a girl in a wheelchair, also seemingly made of paper, are perched on the words. While the cover is pretty faithful to the description of the characters (and evokes Ethan’s temporary job at his grandfather’s plant nursery), it’s a bit flavorless. I wish there had been a little bit more to show us the seriousness of the story we’re about to read.
The Deal:
Rebecca and Ethan were best friends eight years ago, when Ethan’s mom dropped him off at his grandparents’ house in Arizona, and Rebecca lived next door. Ethan’s mother is a drug addict and, over the years when she felt she couldn’t handle parenting, she would pawn him off on her parents to sort herself out. But when she was feeling better or more responsible, she would come back for Ethan, and he would follow her home to LA. Rebecca wouldn’t know that Ethan was leaving but would find drawings of flowers on her windowsill in the mornings when he would be gone.
Now, Ethan is back when Joy joins – then skips out on – rehab, and Rebecca’s life has been upended: she was in a car crash that rendered her paralyzed below the waist, and the crash killed her father. She’s still learning what it means to reimagine her life as a disabled person, and holds a lot of guilt about her father’s death. Ethan wants to find his mom. Rebecca wants to talk to her mom, who has pulled away since the accident. But maybe home isn’t a place, it’s a person… someone you’ve known since you were kids…
BFF Charm: Big Sister
Our two protagonists need someone to cry on, that’s for sure. Ethan has been abandoned multiple times by his mother. Rebecca blames herself for the accident and her father’s death. They try to confide in each other, but reuniting as best friends is complicated when Rebecca is still hurt from the last time Ethan left without a word of warning, and Ethan is distracted by the search for his mother, who has checked herself out of rehab and yet hasn’t come back to claim him.
These two keep trying to reach each other, but they keep hurting each other inadvertently. It feels like a dance where they won’t ever find their way to each other. And each time the chance slips through one of their fingers, I just want to be there for either of them and let them cry on my shoulder.
Swoonworthy Scale: 5
There’s a wonderful tug-of-war happening between the two POVs that you really feel like you know these two seventeen-year-olds. Rebecca yearns for the boy who painted murals in her treehouse. Ethan craves stability, but his life keeps getting shaken up by the chaos that follows his mother around. When they do have a chance to meet in the middle, their spark is electric. The only quibble I have with this book is that there were not enough moments when they got close and shared a kiss.
Talky Talk: Push and Pull
Johnson is great at writing tortured souls who don’t know what they want – but they’re aware that they are not happy. The characters were complicated, flawed, and gosh, so darn stubborn, it was hard to root for them sometimes, but they were wonderfully human and I grew to appreciate the story more because of it. My father-in-law once said, “A partnership is not always fifty-fifty. Sometimes it’s eighty-twenty, sometimes it’s thirty-seventy.” And I think that kind of partnership is apparent in Rebecca and Ethan’s case: they keep trying to fill that gap for each other. It’s just, well, not always in their best interest to do so.
Bonus Factors: Wheelchair Rep
I don’t see a lot of rep about wheelchair users in fiction, so bravo for this book! Johnson herself is a wheelchair user, and in her author’s note she mentions that this book is near and dear to her heart. All of Rebecca’s frustrations, observations, vehemence, and acceptance of her situation seem very authentic. And Ethan’s reactions to her being in a wheelchair – that is, he finds her stunning and wonderful, and takes care to understand Rebecca’s needs – are refreshing in fiction. Yes, there are people who don’t accommodate Rebecca and her chair, but Ethan is not one of them. We like him for that.
Bonus Factor: Found family
Rebecca’s mentor and boss at a jewelry-making studio, Amelia (also a wheelchair user) is a great addition to the group. Amelia’s husband and toddler are sweet to Rebecca, and Amelia understands Rebecca’s complicated feelings about not being able to walk anymore. Which is good, because…
Anti-Bonus Factor: Dan Scott Award for Awful Parenting
Rebecca’s mother kinda sucks for most of the book. She avoids her daughter, she barely acknowledges when Rebecca reaches out for her… She more than hints at wanting Rebecca out of the house and in a different state for college, which makes Rebecca feel unwanted, and the two can’t even mourn Rebecca’s father together because she’s just that distant.
Likewise, Ethan’s mom also has her own problems. She’s an addict, and in that there are issues, like lack of stability and narrow-sightedness about what she wants (her next hit being more important than taking care of her own son). Johnson is careful not to make Joy out to be a caricature of an addict, but these are some serious issues she’s taking on, and in lesser hands this book could’ve been a disaster.
Relationship Status: Keeping It Real
I was somewhat surprised to learn that Johnson has written multiple books since 2017, and yet I hadn’t heard of her before. This book shows an understanding of complicated situations and of nuance, and I think is very strong. Don’t sleep on this one, friends! It’s a winner.
Literary Matchmaking
Sadie by Courtney Summers is another book that takes a complicated, dark subject and does it justice.
Racquel Marie’s You Don’t Have a Shot also has awful parents, but found family makes the characters’ situation sweeter.
Where You See Yourself by Claire Forrest also features a badass mc in a wheelchair.
FTC Full Disclosure: I received a free copy for review from the publisher. I received neither kittens nor compensation in exchange for this review. Every Time You Go Away is available now.
