About the Book
-
Author:
- Shane Burcaw
- Genre:
- Memoir / Biography
- Voices:
- Cis Boy
- Straight
- White (Non-Specified)
Cover Story: Covergasm
Drinking Buddy: Hell yes
MPAA Rating: R (language, sexuality)
Talky Talk: Talk Dirty to Me
Bonus Factor: Disability
Bromance Status: Bro
Cover Story: Covergasm
It was the cover that sold me. That’s the author with his real life girlfriend, Hannah. Not his nurse, sister, or caretaker as people assume. You can tell from the cover that no one is going to use the word ‘handicapable’ in this book.
The Deal:
Laughing at My Nightmare blogger, author, and social activist Shane Burcaw writes about his life. Burcaw has spinal muscular atrophy, which has left him with extremely limited mobility and has progressively grown worse since his childhood. Dependent on others for just about all his needs, Burcaw writes about his disability, his adventures, and his sex life with humor and sensitivity. Well, with humor.
Drinking Buddy: Hell yes
Burcaw, as evidenced by the cover, obviously has a great sense of humor. He’s a guy who wants to have adventures, help people, and go out and party. This is difficult, as he cannot eat or use the bathroom without help, but Burcaw makes it work. There’s also the stereotype that physical disability translates into mental disability. Burcaw has to deal with people talking over him, asking his girlfriend or companion about his needs, or waiters assuming he’s kidding when he orders a beer. But this is a guy who is not going to take any crap from anyone. He’ll shut down the bars with you, and run over your toes if you suggest he’s had enough.
MPAA Rating: R (language, sexuality)
Burcaw says one of the most common questions he gets is if he and his girlfriend are sexually active. And the answer is yes. Burcaw admits he was rather shocked when Hannah first came on to him (though she was by no means his first girlfriend) and how he occasionally suffers from the paranoia that she won’t want to stay with a man who she has to help eat. But they’re truly a couple in every sense of the word. Hell, they’re not even unique. The late quadriplegic cartoonist John Callahan once wrote about how he nearly died in a freak cunnilingus accident.
Talky Talk: Talk Dirty to Me
Burcaw reminds me of that smutty-minded friend that you put up with because he’s such a nice guy. His stories are hilarious. For instance, there was the time he and his cousin were scheduled to speak at a meeting. After they go through with their regular R-rated talk, they realize they’re addressing a convention of conservative Mennonites. Or how he and Hannah ended up basically camping in an art museum, charging his wheelchair battery. Or how he convinced his brother to go on a road trip to Buffalo, only to realize, to their horror, that they were in Buffalo. Or when he and Hannah tried edibles for the first time, and he had to lead her back to the hotel when she started freaking out.
There are serious moments as well. He talks about a teenage blogger who died by assisted suicide, and how the media portrayed her as a hero for ending her life. Even though she had the exact medical condition he does. Does society think he should end things as well? Or how strangers take it upon themselves to pray for him, give him money, or ask personal questions. How airlines are not set up to transport someone in his condition, nor his very expensive wheelchair.
This is a man who’s truly embraced who he is. The book opens with the story how in middle school, when he was much healthier, he still had to have the school nurse help him use the bathroom. When his friends find out…everyone makes juvenile penis jokes. And sometimes, the world needs juvenile penis jokes.
Bonus Factor: Disability
Burcaw tells some eye-opening stories about how life as a severely-disabled person works. For instance, just having a voice-activated Alexa has made things so much easier for him, as he can control the lights, music, and temperature without help. Or how once an old man with dementia kept banging on his door. The police wrote him off as a senile old man who couldn’t hurt anyone. To Burcaw, he was a potential threat, one from which he could not defend himself. Or the time a friend left him on his bed for a moment while she went out for a smoke, and ended up getting locked out of the house. Burcaw almost panicked. What if he threw up and choked to death? He wasn’t sick or anything, but what if?
Burcaw is in his mid-twenties, and like any young man, wants to have his own place and be independent, which is simply not possible for him. But when asked what he’d do if he was not disabled (and he’s asked that frequently), he says he’d go make himself a cup of coffee. He’d still blog. He’d still work for his charity. And he’d still make fart jokes.
Bromance Status: Bro
Fell in love with the cover, stayed for the contents. And I’m following the blog now.
Literary Matchmaking
Think Burcaw has it rough? At least no one is messing with his brain, unlike in Howard Dully’s unsettling memoir, My Lobotomy.
I recommend Natasha Friend’s How We Roll every time there’s a disabled protagonist, but I don’t care. It’s that good.
FTC Full Disclosure: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher, but it was an ARC and it didn’t have any of the amusing (I’m sure) photographs that the final version will. I didn’t get paid, either.
