Title: Falling for Christmas
Released: 2022

Fix: A Christmas-themed Overboard With Less Couple Chemistry But Also Less Dubious Kidnapping And Forced Servitude Undertones, Soooo…, Rich People Getting Amnesia And Learning Housework, Struggling Widower-Dads With Struggling Businesses, A Child’s Christmas Wish Causes An Avalanche, The Lindsay Lohanaissance Is Here
Platform: Netflix

Netflix Summary:

In the days leading up to Christmas, a young and newly engaged heiress experiences a skiing accident. After being diagnosed with amnesia, she finds herself in the care of the handsome lodge owner and his daughter.

What’s Actually Going On In Santa’s Workshop:

LiLo is back! And so is Chord Overstreet, I guess? (Anyone else mutter, “Trouty Mouth” under their breath when he appeared? If so, take a drink!) Sierra is a spoiled, rich daughter of a hotel businessman, and Jake owns a struggling B&B that no one wants to stay in. He rescues her after a photo shoot turned surprise engagement turned avalanche lands her in the hospital with amnesia, and he generously offers her a place to stay while she struggles to regain her memories.

Of course, the explosion of Christmas coziness combined with Jake’s adorable moppet and the satisfaction of learning to do her own chores means that Sierra and Jake are falling in love fast…but what happens when her real life comes a-caroling?

Naughty or Nice List:

Lindsay Lohan as Sierra & Chord Overstreet as Jake

You know what I don’t understand? There is space in the publishing world for both sweet Christmas romances and sexy Christmas romances. Why is that not the same for the made-for-TV holiday romance world?! I don’t NEED to see two people steaming up Santa’s sleigh on-screen in detail, but is it too much to ask for two leads who have some chemistry? For TPTB to make it believable that these two EVENTUALLY want to smush their privates together?

Because Lohan and Overstreet are like two sexless, inoffensive Barbie dolls just orbiting each other’s space as their arms don’t bend enough to fully embrace. No one was stretching their acting abilities for this movie, is all I’m saying.

Verdict: Nice (But Bland)

George Young as Ted & Sean Dillingham as Ralph

CONVERSELY. Sierra’s goofy, “influencer” fiancé, Ted, stumbles upon this weirdo ice-fishing in his fish cabin, and when his truck won’t start, he decides instead of staying put in said cabin, they’re going to traipse through the woods for help; Ted woefully unprepared. There is a moment when he falls down and won’t go on, and Ralph man-handles his legs and puts his own snowshoes on Ted. Why is this moment kind of hot??? Nothing actually happens between the two, but by the end Ted is leaving the hotel with another dude, which begs the question idle minds want to know: was he already bi or was Ralph his sexual awakening? I can’t help but feel like THIS is the movie I wanted to be watching.

Verdict: (Oh So) Naughty

Sleigh-Sharing Capability: Sleigh Ride For Two

Watch it with your bestie because no one else is going to care about this movie except them. You’ll want someone around to scoff with when Sierra is supposedly dressing with leftovers from the Lost & Found clothing bin, yet there’s multiple normal-looking sweaters that fit her perfectly. AS IF.

Recommended Level of Inebriation: Spiked Coffee

You’re going to need some caffeine to keep you awake because this movie won’t be doing that on its own, so take your favorite cup o’ Joe and doctor it up to make it festive with some chocolate liqueur and cinnamon.

Did It Get Me In The Christmas Spirit?: I Can Hear The Bells

Jake’s B&B looks like Christmas literally threw up on every surface, so you will never forget this is a CHRISTMAS MOVIE. (Fun fact: The fancy hotel Sierra’s family owns and the ski chalet B&B are, IRL, the same hotel and are actually connected together via a walkway.) There’s a bland Christmas Eve party, wishes on Christmas trees, and celebrating-in-town-square moments (complete with a creeper Santa I would’ve gladly left out of the film). I watched it when it came out in early November and despite my curmudgeon-ness, it did get me excited for the holidays, so we can count it as a win.

Stephanie (she/her) is an avid reader who moonlights at a college and calls Orlando home. Stephanie loves watching television, reading DIY blogs, planning awesome parties, Halloween decorating, and playing live-action escape games.