Welcome back, Panther VOLLEYBALL fans! Last week, alums from Gilmore Girls, Veronica Mars and One Tree Hill all dropped by Dillon. Why stop there? Let’s get some Gossip Girls, Hellmouth residents and OCers up in here! Kandis asked who’s my favorite of the new characters, and after this week, I’m very pro-Matt Czuchry, but ask me if I’m ever NOT pro-Matt Czuchry? No, no I am not. Logan was Rory’s best boyfriend (although to be clear, that’s slim pickin’s). Don’t @ me.
If that statement makes you furious, have a drink!
The Official FYA Friday Night Lights Season 2 Drinking Game
Drink once every time:
You want to give Matt Saracen a hug
Tami Taylor drinks a glass of wine
Tami Taylor says “y’all”
Landry Clarke goes off on a tangent
You’re Team Tyra Collette
Buddy Garrity makes you roll your eyes
Lyla Garrity is a little (or a LOT) much about the Jesus
You think, “It’s JUST football, people.”
You are not a fan of the romantic relationship you’re seeing on screen
Glen is just SO Glen
Baby Gracie appears in a scene
You are reminded why no one likes Season 2
Drink twice every time:
The Panthers score a touchdown
Tim Riggins makes poor choices
There’s a classic Coach Taylor pep talk
Landry and/or Tyra stress you out
Tami and Julie clash
Take a shot every time you hear:
“Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose!”
“Texas Forever.”
Finish your drink when:
Hands slap the Panther “P”
Landry straight up kills a guy
On to the episode!
2.13 “Humble Pie”
In the interest of getting the Breaking Bad: Dillon Edition stuff out of the way: Tim runs into the meth dealer from whom he stole $3k to pay his and Billy’s mortgage, and the meth dealer and his three meth friends beat up Tim in a gas station parking lot. The dealer tells him he has until the end of the week to pay up, which seems fair, honestly. Tim shows absolutely no concern about any of this, but casually mentions it to Lyla when she sees his bruised and scratched-up face. Because she’s more worried about his dumb ass than he is, she shows up at the end of the episode to deliver the money so he won’t, you know, die. Tim and Billy bring the cash to Meth Dealer’s house, who waves them inside with a gun so he can count the money. I hate to be Team Violent Meth Dealer, but he sees that the money is accounted for and is like “we’re cool” when Billy gets all macho don’t-you-ever-lay-a-hand-on-my-brother-again with him, and then all of a sudden there’s a huge brawl and they’re chased out with the gun, and I assume that means this storyline is NOT over. Thanks a pantload, Billy.
In other Riggins news, he shows up at Lyla’s super intense church to convince her to come over later so they can talk (this is when she sees his beat-up face). She finally agrees, and when she arrives he tells her he loves her, but she’s not having it. She tells him she doesn’t have feelings for him, and later on a date with Chris, she tells him everything – I mean, EVERYTHING. Like, “I slept with my recently paralyzed boyfriend’s best friend” everything. Chris, to his credit, is so cool and non-judgmental, telling her he knows that must have been really hard for her to share, but he’s glad she did. They kiss, and I like them, and when Lyla drops off the cash to Tim later, she tells him she’s not coming back, because Chris makes her really happy. Justice for Czuchry!
As Kandis predicted last week, the white boys with whom Smash got into a totally justified altercation have sent the cops to arrest Smash with an assault charge, while they are facing absolutely no consequences (other than Smash’s fist) for sexually and racially harassing a tween girl. Later, in a mediation appointment with Smash, Mama Smash, Coach and the lawyers, everyone convinces Smash to plead guilty to a misdemeanor charge, and to apologize. But these terrible white boys keep calling his house and harassing his sister, and later a journalist shows up at Applebee’s and sticks a mic in his face and basically taunts him into admitting that he’s NOT sorry, those boys deserved what they got, and they actually deserve worse. Coach shows up at Smash’s house later to say that the board has decided to suspend him for three games – which is the rest of the pre-playoffs season. “How are we going to get to State?” Smash asks, and the credits roll.
But first! Landry is tutoring Jean, a little alterna-cutie freshman who clearly crushes on him big-time, and they have a lot in common (mainly being school nerds who like thrash metal, but frankly, that’s pretty much all there is to Landry). Lyla is JEALOUS, we’re talking lime-green Jell-O, and it only gets worse when their study date happens to overlap with her shift at Applebee’s. (This is not a crappy move on Landry’s part – she was working someone else’s shift, and he didn’t think she’d be there.) And later, Jean shows up to give Landry a power metal mix CD to thank him for his help, and oh mannnn I think she’s so cute, and it doesn’t hurt that Jean is played by the wonderful Brea Grant, who’s from Marshall, TX, (basically Dillon) and has gone on to be a terrific indie horror director.
How many times do I have to take a drink?
15
Did the Panthers win?
The Panther girls’ volleyball team sure did! Their coach up and quit in the middle of a very losing season, and as Athletic Director, Coach Taylor asks Tami – apparently a varsity volleyball alum! – to take over. She’s good at the job and hollers just as effectively as any coach, and when she notices how tall Tyra is (excuse ME, Miss 5’11), she recruits her to the team. She gets the team to squeak out a win, and it’s all very exciting. Also I love Tami’s sporty wear.
MVP of the Week
Herc sold Jason a lemon of a truck, and now he’s out $4k in repairs. When Buddy sees the guys coming to blows over this at the mechanic’s shop, Jason tells him the repairs will take half of every cent he’s got, so Buddy offers him a job. It’s a lovely thing to do, but my first thought was “aren’t there ENOUGH salespeople at this car dealership? Buddy offers everyone a job!” The other salespeople feel the same way, although they express their feelings in crappy, ableist ways. After some hazing and commission-stealing by his colleagues, Jason has his day by giving a really powerful speech to Gerald, a “tire-kicker and looky-loo” who comes in every week and never buys this hybrid truck he’s always eyeing. Jason convinces him to finally buy the damn thing, and everyone’s impressed. Including me – I never thought I’d cheer at a pickup truck commission, but it was as exciting as the volleyball game!
Best Austin Location of the Week
It always brings me joy to see Austin’s Peter Pan Mini Golf! And, funnily enough, the putt-putt course has apparently also made an appearance in the film version of Friday Night Lights.
Best Taylor Couple Moment
Small moment: as Tami’s holding baby Gracie, she asks Coach to butter her a piece of toast, and there’s something so cute about the way he says, “I’d love to butter you some toast.” But bigger moment, he’s cheering his head off in the stands at the volleyball team’s win, and when bratty Julie says, “What, now they’re like 1 and 7?”, Coach replies proudly, “What you gotta be like that for? MOM is 1 and 1.” Aww!!
Tim Riggins’ Finest Moment
I know a lot of people might choose the moment when he finally tells Lyla he loves her, but I find it annoying he’s doing so as soon as she’s in the middle of a good relationship with Matt Czuchry. Frustratingly Jess-coded imo!!! But anyway, he makes an adorable ball boy for Coach Tami’s team. Extra points for Tami’s delivery of “Tim, if you HIT me with that ball…” when he’s tossing around volleyballs without paying attention.
The Taylor Advice of the Week
I LOVE that the drinking game rule of “There’s a classic Coach Taylor” pep talk is fulfilled by Coach TAMI Taylor this week. She tells Tyra to think of something that’s pissing her off to improve Tyra’s spike, and thanks to Landry’s new gal pal, Tyra has plenty of inspiration to work with.
Post-Game Breakdown
I am just… SO! IRRITATED! that when the Tim-steals-from-a-meth-dealer plotline is about to be tidily wrapped up, Billy decides to make everything worse. THIS is what Lyla spent $3000 on?! It’s like if right after Landry confessed to the murder and everything seemed like it was about to go back to normal, Tyra was like “oh but also there’s this other creep who’s been harassing me, let’s go throw him in a river this time.” I need the criminal antics to take a breather this season, jeezy chreezy.
Question for you, readers, and for Sarah, who will be here next week recapping “Leave No One Behind” – if you HAD to choose one Coach Taylor to lead your team to victory, who would it be: Eric or Tami?
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