Previously on Reign: The plague was horrible. Narcisse the younger just wanted a little sanctioned murder. Francis decided he was keeping his baby.
The Intrigue
- Bash is directing the removal and burial of the castle’s plague victims. There are bodies everywhere. Can you imagine the stench? Yikes.
- Francis and Lola return to the castle with the baby. The ladies all welcome her, and Bash and Francis hug – in a manly fashion, of course. Mary is glad Lola is safe, but obviously uncomfortable with the situation.
- Hot Cousin Louis is with them, and Kenna, being Kenna, is the first to observe that Hot Cousin Louis is indeed hot.
- Mary and Francis have a sexy reunion in private, but she makes it clear that she does not want him to officially claim Lola’s child.
- The elder Lord Narcisse arrives at court fairly pissy about his dead son. Catherine offers condolences and orders whisky. Narcisse then goes to search the dungeon for his son’s body and is understandably suspicious about how it ended up there, with servants and commoners. Near the body, they find another plague victim still alive and Narcisse is anxious to get the gory details.
- Mary tries to reassure some clean-shaven stranger who sounds like Nostradamus. I will never get used to the beard being gone. She promises to protect him from any possible repercussions of him helping her to go behind Catherine’s back during the plague.
- There’s dancing and drinking in the ballroom. Sure, that will make the smell of death everywhere easier to deal with. Catherine is relieved to have Francis home, but Narcisse arrives with a bunch of nobles to ruin the party. He claims that Nostradamus is to blame for having a healthy noble (his son) sent to the dungeon with plague victims. Francis, afraid to lose the support of the nobles, orders Nostradamus confined for questioning.
- Catherine is adamant that that they must keep the nobles happy. Mary says that she will deal with the issue, since she’s the one who actually sentenced Narcisse Jr. to death.
- Lord Nerd goes to Pastry Boy’s estate to accuse him of getting involved with Yvette just to retaliate against Greer. The guy is unhinged over losing his daughter and ends up hitting Pastry Boy. And now you have made an enemy of me, sir.
- Mary goes to Narcisse and has him admit that he knows she was behind his son’s death, but since she’s untouchable, he’ll have Nostradamus and her guards drawn and quartered instead. He’s hopeful that then she’ll learn not to cross him again. Oooh Mary. Now is when to start thinking: “What would Catherine do?” (WWCD)
- Mary lays into Francis and lets him know this is basically all his fault, because he knew the plague was coming, yet still left the castle, leaving her alone to deal with a nightmare. Oh, and did he have to sleep with her best friend? Francis is all “do we have to do this now?”
- Greer visits Pastry Boy and apologizes for ever telling Lord Nerd her suspicions about why he’d been with Yvette. He wants her to leave it all alone and not come back. Poor Pastry Boy looks like he could really use a hug. THE LINE FORMS BEHIND ME.
- Bash has been sent out to the villages to look for proof that Narcisse has had people murdered for their lands and used the plague to cover it up. He meets a woman at the cemetery who tells him that the door between the living and the dead has been kicked open by the plague and there are spirits everywhere. The Reckoning is the new Darkness.
- Lola brings Mary information that a priest heard the last confession of the nobleman who was poisoned by Narcisse Jr. Mary goes to see the priest, but he’s afraid of Narcisse. And although he has the information she needs, about Narcisse being a murdering thief, it was obtained under the seal of confession and cannot be used.
- Bash tells Francis that they may need Nostradamus in this fight against the angry ghosts. Francis actually looks frightened, but that’s probably because his brother sounds like a crazy person.
- Lord Nerd gets Greer to admit that she visited Pastry Boy. Even though he knew she loved another when they became engaged, he’s decided to be pouty about it now. He tells her that he’s leaving on a long business trip and doesn’t know if he’ll be back. Um, sir? You have a contractual obligation to this lady. She gave up pastries for you.
- Hot Cousin Louis reveals himself as a radical. Despite being a Catholic, he’s seriously over the corruption of the Vatican. He urges Francis to buck Narcisse and the nobles and do his own thing as King.
- Catherine visits Nostradamus in prison and admits that she has no plans to save him, but promises that he’ll be remembered. She’ll have all his works published, have sonnets written about him, and even have a statue erected in Paris. He’s surprisingly ungrateful and hints that her daughter Clarissa may still be alive, which would mean that his old prophecy about her child dying because of Mary, could still pertain to Francis. This freaks her out, as he intended.
- Mary interrupts the drawing and quartering to tell Narcisse that she has written proof of his thefts and murder, that his victim wrote it all down, and her letters are on the way to the Vatican. Francis arrives with the intercepted letters in hand, ready to negotiate. After an embarrassing public argument, he sends Mary away so the menfolk can talk. Francis will burn the letters, but there will be no executions. In exchange for his cooperation, Narcisse wants more land. Secretly, Mary and Francis celebrate that their scam with the forged letters succeeded.
- The land that Francis has to hand over to Narcisse, is the one that he had deeded to Pastry Boy. Poor Pastry Boy has to find this out from Narcisse, who also informs him that his presence is demanded at court.
- Mary helps the injured Nostradamus leave the castle, promising to tell Catherine that he had another vision, of a better life. He rides off into the sunset, probably to join an emo hipster band.
- Francis has been wanting to appoint Bash to his counsel and Bash is finally ready to let him. Francis makes him the King’s Deputy. Aw, bro love is the best.
- Mary has Francis come to the nursery because she’s had a change of heart about him claiming Lola’s baby. She doesn’t want to end up like Catherine, so she’s going to open her heart to his child and wants him to have the protection of Francis’s name.
- When Mary has left the nursery, the baby nurse comes in and shows Francis the proper way to hold the baby. While doing so, she becomes possessed by the spirit of Crazy King Henry. It’s creepy as hell. This Reckoning is not kidding around.
History According to Reign
King Francis II had no heirs, illegitimate or otherwise. Sorry to be crass, but does this teenager look like he’s getting anyone pregnant?
Number of Times I Forgot I Wasn’t Watching Gossip Girl: 2
1. Mary, wearing a fur cape in the rain. Blair Waldorf would have had WORDS.
2. “I always thought you should marry a common girl, like your father. Rich, of course, but without a title she felt obligated to club people with.” Royal Queens: the original high maintenance girls.
If you too have WORDS about Mary’s ensembles, or if you just need to claim your place in the Pastry Boy hugging queue, join us in the comments!
Next week: It’s coronation time! Except there’s a major famine going on, so it’s likely going to be really awkward.
