Previous episode: “Read Before Use”
Now, that we are on the fourth episode of The Carrie Diaries, I feel that I’ve spent enough time watching to make a declaration. Carrie annoys me.
I think AnnaSophia Robb is great — but I can’t with Carrie, at least thus far.
This week’s episode “Fright Night” focuses around two Halloween parties — Larissa’s that Carrie and Walt go to in New York and Sebastian’s at the local diner that Mouse and Maggie crash. Let’s all decide which one we’d rather go to!
Guess which one Carrie didn’t get invited to?
Since their falling out in typical teen girl (and my personal relationship coping mechanism) fashion, Carrie attempts to avoid Sebastian for as long as she possibly can. But she’s in high school, so that lasts about an hour at best before she swept up in the dreaminess that is Austin Butler’s face. Carrie overhears Sebastian talking about his Halloween party and when they have their awkward conversation–he neglects to mention the party. In true Bradshaw fashion, Carrie has to mention it and mention that she was not invited. Sebastian sums Carrie’s lack of invitation perfectly that “it wouldn’t have been polite to invite you-just awkward,” in the only horrible rejecting way your dream crush dude can.
Carrie and Walt dress up as Princess Diana and Prince Charles for Larissa’s party in the city. They are automatically immediately out of place since everyone is naked, gay (WALT) and dressed in lame. (Note: wondering what the American Apparel lame budget was for this scene)
This hot ass dude dressed as Alex from A Clockwork Orange swoops in to talk with Carrie and Walt. His name is Bennett Wilcox (THAT NAME!) and he write a column for Interview and he describes himself as an anglophile and a Kubrick fan. I take this as meaning he’s either completely terrible and would make you read poetry with him or he’s great at sex? Not sure where either of those assumptions came from, but I digress because Bennett is obviously gay.
Larissa is dressed like some fabulous sequined bird–tells Bennett when he needs a drink that the “bubbly and expensive” things are in the corner and blesses Carrie and Walt with two ecstasy pills. They cut away to commercial like it’s going to be some cliffhanger thing but as we all guessed Carrie doesn’t take ecstasy but Walt does. Pretty disappointed in Carrie for not taking free drugs from her friend.
Bennett, while pretty, is probably insufferable eventually as he describes graffiti to Carrie as “the oldest form of protest,” as she makes feeble and unnoticed attempts to flirt with him. While this is happening, Walt is high as fuck–watching the graffiti on the walls. Guess who else is extremely high? Larissa–who tells Carrie that she’s taken two ecstasy pills, drank some champagne (which doesn’t count) and did a hit of LSD. She’s dressed like a bird–so she wants to fly. From the top of the roof.
Poor Carrie is officially on sober friend duty.
After extracting Larissa from the roof, Carrie has made her a nest in a random bedroom and the two have an existential conversation–where Carrie complains about having to take care of everyone all the time and how she basically wishes she were a selfish person (don’t worry girl, you get there in time). Larissa laments how being fabulous is exhausting when having to compare oneself to all the other fabulous islands (Carrie was reciting John Donne during this, also I doubt any 16 year old girl can recite John Donne). Carrie’s sad that everything that she admired about Larissa is what’s making her miserable.
On the other high person front, Carrie left Bennett to watch Walt. Bennett is regaling Walt with stories about John Belushi riding Janice Dickinson and all about his fabulous NYC life. Walt, is uncomfortable with this life that he thinks he wants, even more so after they spot some people making out on the street. Walt is embarrassed by the display of affection which he blames on his WASP roots. Bennett makes the case that everything in New York that is private becomes public because of how cramped the city is.
Walt’s high. Bennett’s hot. Of course they end up kissing. And poor Walt freaks out. Even though Bennett tells him it’s ok if he’s gay and that he’s been there Walt denies everything. “I don’t like guys. I’m not gay or anything. I have a girlfriend.” Walt runs off and witnesses some dudes trying to beat up a gay couple. He stops anything from happening, but when he asks why they even cared. The homophobic dudebros respond because they are “freaks.” I feel really sad for Walt.
Carrie finds out that Walt had ran off from Bennett, who at this point she’s still attempting to pursue. When they go to check on Larissa, they find some tiger dude groping at her while she’s passed out in the bedroom. He gives the usual rape apologist statements: “she was being responsive,” “she wanted it,” etc. Gross. Carrie yells at the dude and he leaves. She gets Bennett to take care of Larissa, finds out he’s gay and questions why would Walt run off. Bennett is nice enough to not out Walt to Carrie.
Back on the home front, Maggie basically tricks Mouse into going to Sebastian’s party. Mouse doesn’t think they should go in solidarity, Maggie thinks they have to go in order to spy and report back. The diner party is a rager–beer and liquor stations are located at numbered booths (for hiding purposes) and Sebastian welcomes them warmly, unlike what they had expected. Again, checkered past but has a heart of gold. Aren’t these girls watching any John Hughes movies? Maggie convinces Mouse into staying for at least a drink and of course disappears, leaving Mouse to play Pac Man alone.
Sebastian joins Mouse, who attempts to be standoffish, but when Sebastian wants them to compete in Pac Man, she’s totally into it. Sebastian and Mouse have a deep heart to heart, where Mouse says she has a lot to live up to. Her parents expect her to get into Harvard and she grinds her teeth at night. Sebastian has basically the opposite problem. He wishes his parents cared about him at all.
But at least boy knows how to relax. He pulls out a joint. Mouse freaks, but then decides to try it. Mouse tells Sebastian that she doesn’t like what he did to Carrie and also that he’s a good listener. Sebastian says that he wouldn’t have listened if she wasn’t interesting.
Is it terrible that I’m totally shipping Mouse and Sebastian!?
If it’s a good high school party, the cops have to show up. The cop to show up is the one that Maggie’s been banging! She’s confident she can convince him not to break up the party, but not in the way she intended. After cornering him in the bathroom, dude is freaking out because Maggie is unattached and apparently that now makes him realize that she’s underage and he could go to jail. He’s clearly a very observant officer of the law. But Maggie basically blackmails him into not breaking up the party. I’m guessing this is the last we’ll see of this cop. Plus, Maggie’s way hotter than him.
Maggie goes to report her triumph to discover that Mouse is insanely stoned. But she wants to stay at the party, so Sebastian says he’ll take care of her.
In Dorrit’s eyeliner is fabulous and now her hair is perfectly crimped news — Dorrit is still the best, even though her story lines keep sucking. This week she storms in announcing that Halloween is lame and confusing her father by wearing so much eyeliner and black clothing that he believes it to be her costume. Carrie (bleh) informs their dad that Dorrit hasn’t gone trick or treating in years and that she fully intends on sneaking out. He finds Dorrit’s prank stash and grounds her to the house. She is awesome and retaliates by eating all the candy for the trick or treaters and watches Poltergeist. A film that her dad thinks might be too scary. Dorrit’s amazing response: “I can’t tell because you are talking too much.” Whenever anyone interrupts me watching TV ever again that’s what I am going to say. Poltergeist of course freaks out Dorrit — although I have a feeling her eyeliner could save her — and she asks her dad if they can hang out.
In a dramatic end montage — all of our characters are brought together. Larissa is taking off her makeup. Walt goes to Maggie’s and they have sex (we all knew that was coming). Dorrit is hanging out with her dad. Sebastian brings an extremely high Mouse to Carrie’s where she just wants to eat chips. Carrie writes about all her Sebastian/life feels in her journal. The usual.
Things of Note/Hilarity/WTF
- Larissa’s entire take-down of the Princess Di/Charles relationship including mention of Camilla was epic. You could literally see Carrie’s faith in love destroyed.
- “You are a romantic! It’s like finding a unicorn.” Larissa on Carrie.
- Ecstasy was legal in 1984?
- The dad dresses up at Chewbacca.
- I’m sparing you from Carrie’s pun of the week because they were all terrible and not even good terrible.
- “He has a really cute butt.” Mouse on Sebastian, twice!
Next week: Carrie goes on a date with a rich guy! Sebastian’s making out with Donna, ick.
About the Contributor:
Kerensa Cadenas is a writer living in Los Angeles. She grew up on binge reading Sweet Valley High and watching Saved by the Bell at a very young age. Hence, she is now unable to grow out of this life-long phase. She loves terrible teen television, young adult novels and probably listens to One Direction more than she should. She also enjoys more adult things like margaritas on patios and dance parties. A Marcus Flutie/Nate Archibald man-hybrid remains her ideal.
