About:
The O.C. S3.E21 “The Dawn Patrol”
Drinks Taken: 16
Welcome back to The O.C. Rewatch Project!
Last week, Meredith asked me how long I think it’ll take for Ryan’s Damsels in Distress disease to kick back in, and I’m pretty sure we don’t even have to wait until the season finale. If Ryan saw a fly trying to get into the house, he’d assume it was a lady fly and would open the door for her.
The O.C. Drinking Game
Drink once every time:
The ladies have a convo while primping in front of a mirror
Seth makes a nerdy reference
Ryan wears a white tank top
Anyone plays a video game
Summer says “ew”
Anyone eats a bagel
Anyone references The Valley
Drink twice every time:
Someone says “Newpsie”
Fisticuffs occur (three times for pool fights!)
Someone grabs a cup of coffee
Ryan and Seth read comic books
Someone reminds us that Kaitlin Cooper exists
3.20 “The Day After Tomorrow”
Ugh, Seth is back to being his big ol’ liar self again. He doesn’t get into Brown and spends much of the episode either avoiding Summer or flat-out lying to her so as not to steal her thunder. I get it – he doesn’t want to rain on her happy college parade, and she’s just so thrilled picking out their winter clothing:
Seth and Ryan are sort of in the same boat this week, and while Seth is avoiding telling Summer the truth, Ryan is convincing himself – and Sadie – of a truth that can never really happen. The two of them decide to move to Berkeley together, and Sandy and Kirsten’s reaction is basically my own: WHAT? These two crazy kids barely know each other. But Ryan is determined to make it work, until Sandy tells him that if Ryan and Sadie live together, the Cohens can’t support both of them and they’re going to have it really hard with bills and expenses.
We know it’s over even before Ryan does when Sandy offers him Kirsten’s old Berkeley sweatshirt for Sadie to wear to the college sweatshirt party (is this a thing at schools?), and Ryan never even gives it to her. Instead, he spends the whole night pretending like they’re still going to move up to Berkeley together, until Sadie very kindly dumps him. I’m going to miss Sadie and her maturity – it’s that quality that makes their break-up so much more sad, but it’s that very quality that necessitates it.
Sadie isn’t the only one having doubts – Marissa isn’t sure she wants to go to Berkeley, and has been spending all of her time with creepy bedroom eyed Volchok (is it bedroom eyes or “stoned out of my mind” eyes? Hard to tell). But after a sweet talk from Julie, who has truly become such a wonderful mother and person, and a little chat with Summer, Marissa decides to go to the party after all. She’s still uncertain of her college future, but she’s trying.
Marissa has become such a horrible character again – she’s ungrateful of Dr. Roberts’ kindness and disrespectful of his home, she’s ungrateful for all the strings that had to be pulled for her to get back into school and have a chance at college. She’s not even the same person she was when she sucked it up and wrote her college essay. To echo Meredith’s sentiments from last week: this is going to end so well for her!
After spending much of the episode avoiding Summer and basically telling her that he’s not sure that they’ll be together forever in an attempt to distract her from the reality, Seth comes up with another lie: he’s decided not to go to Brown, but he thinks Summer should still go. She accepts this as a break-up and goes home to cry and destroy her vision board, and ugh, we’ve all been there:
Back in Adult World, Sandy tries to shrug Maya’s dad off (whatever that dude’s name is, I’m too lazy to care) and threatens to get the DA on him for beating Matt senseless. But then the guy makes Sandy an offer that’s hard to refuse: $700 million to revamp the entire area around the planned hospital, with restaurants and affordable housing and blah blah. This is how you become Caleb Nichol, Sandy, and after a little visit from a still-wounded Matt, Kirsten knows it. Instead of hearing whatever Sandy has to say about the matter, she tells him to knock it off and walks out the door. Dammit, Sandy Cohen.
How many times did I have to drink?
9
Cute Seth is cute
This is the only time he’s cute in this episode because he’s not lying.
Best pop culture reference
Taylor Townsendism
Taylor: “Summer, getting a man is like capturing a wily silverback gorilla in the Ugandan highlands.”
3.21 “The Dawn Patrol”
As you might expect from the episode’s title, Ryan’s mom is back in the picture. Ryan and Seth are on similar journeys right now – not so much journeys as they are tests of manhood, and both of them are fumbling real hard. Ok, Ryan is fumbling and Seth is straight up flailing.
At Kirsten’s suggestion, Ryan heads to Albuquerque to see his mom and possibly invite her to graduation. If anyone knows the struggles of alcoholism, it’s Kirsten, and she’s really feeling the strain this week when Sandy continues to ignore his home life in favor of this entire mess he’s gotten into with Matt (most of which I am not going to pretend to understand).
Meanwhile, Summer has had it with Seth’s weird behavior, and with the help of Taylor she realizes that since she was the one who broke up with him, she has the power to un-break-up.
But then Seth realizes the ball is in his court and he now has the power to break up with Summer, thinking this is the only way to keep avoiding telling her the truth about Brown so that she won’t throw her life away. I dunno, Seth, I may not know Summer as well as you because I haven’t been stalking her since she was in grade school, but I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t ditch college just because you didn’t get in.
Summer realizes that Seth never said he doesn’t love her anymore, so she and Taylor do a little scheming and recreate Seth’s big declaration of love on the coffee cart in the student lounge. But then Seth does the absolute worst thing in the history of Seth’s bad decisions: he tells Summer he doesn’t love her anymore. WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER ARE YOU SETH COHEN.
Marissa continues to spend too much (read: any at all) time with Volchok, blowing off school and drinking beer for breakfast. Julie tries (and fails) to forbid it, though she does drop by to give Volchok an amazing speech about how she’ll be there for Marissa when her daughter finally realizes what a scuzzy loser Volchok is – a speech she knows Marissa can hear, wherever she’s hiding. She does hear it, and Marissa goes crawling back to Julie with tears in her eyes after she witnesses Volchok’s friends sexually assaulting a completely wasted Heather. (Oh yeah, Heather came back just to get sexually assaulted. That was fun.)
In the land of grown-ups, Sandy promises he’ll be home by 7 to have a chat with Kirsten, but gets sidetracked when he basically saves Matt from getting himself murdered or something. Kirsten ALMOST starts drinking again, but wisely dumps the wine down the drain.
Out in Albuquerque, Ryan meets a cute waitress who works with his mom (and who is also a terrible actress) and hooks up with her after a couple of beers because why not – every time Ryan is going through something difficult, there’s a nice, cute girl to help make it easier for him. He’s so lucky. (Ugh.) Anyway, Ryan has serious doubts about Dawn’s ability to come to graduation and makes a very incorrect snap judgment about her new trucker boyfriend. As it turns out, the guy has been sober for 12 years and treats Dawn very well, and Dawn has been holding it together for quite some time now.
Although initially embarrassed by his family, Ryan is more embarrassed by his own behavior and rightfully apologizes, formally inviting his mom to the graduation.
And now he gets to go home and help Seth scheme to get Summer back!
How many times did I have to drink?
7
I love you, Julie Cooper
Most recognizable song
“Woman” by Wolfmother, and Rob Zombie’s “Educated Horses” – did anyone remember this one existed until just now? My inner mall goth is showing.
This is going to end so well!
Marissa ditches Volchok, but given his stalker proclivities, I would not assume this is over at all. (It’s not. Oh god, it’s not.)
Taylor Townsend, BFF
She makes Frappuccinos for broken-hearted Summer because she knows that sugar and chocolate raise endorphins and make you feel better. Taylor is the best.
That’s it for this week! I have a question for Meredith: How much is your brain exploding from stupid, cruel Seth with his big bag of shitty lies? My head is at peak explosion. Full Scanners.
Be sure to join Meredith back here next week for “The College Try” and “The Party Favor”!
About the Contributor:
Britt Hayes is a writer and sensible sweater enthusiast living in Austin, Texas. She loves movies, watches too much television, and her diet consists mostly of fruit snacks and revenge.