I don’t know about y’all, but I was ready for some serious shirtless-ness in this episode. I mean last season, the CW couldn’t KEEP the Salvatore’s shirts on, but now, it’s like it’s a thing, and they’re purposefully making us wait. Whatever, CW. We totally don’t care.
Ahem. Although spoiler we didn’t get shirtless-ness, we got plenty of Katherine, and I think the CW caught on to our drinking game, because I am tipsy from all the flashbacks!
Read on after the break to find out what happened down memory lane!
Flashback! 1864 Drink! Katherine and Stefan are dancing, and wha? Do vampires dream? Elena is leaving with Damon! Stefan walks through the door, and it’s modern-day times, and Elena and Damon are kissing and playing pool at the place they always go to that I can’t remember the name so I’ll call it the Bronze! Then Stefan kisses Katherine! Whoah, some nightmare. Hey Stefan, at least even in your dreams you’re with the same girl. Now he’s safe in bed with Elena, and more smoochies, but whoah! It’s Katherine! Oooh, she tricked me! Drink!
Cut to the Bronze, where Damon reveals to Elena his plans to put silver in Uncle Benicio at Aunt Jenna’s BBQ, (the good people of Mystic Falls see Aunt Jenna enough to go to her BBQ?) so everyone will know he’s a were.
And now Tyler is questioning Uncle Benicio about being a werewolf, and Uncle Benicio is very excited about going to Jenna’s BBQ, too! Yay! I want to go! He tells Tyler not to worry, ignorance is bliss, and he won’t trigger the curse that turned the dead mayor and Uncle Benicio into becoming werewolves.
Stefan goes downstairs, and Katherine’s been reading his diary! Katherine, that stuff is broody and private, you’re so rude! I bet there’s lots of stuff about you in there.
Flashback! Drink! Was George Lockwood the first werewolf in Mystic Falls? I think he was! Stefan and Katherine grill each other a little bit, (so hot) and Katherine points out what I’ve been saying all along! That Stefan came back to Mystic Falls to fall in love with Katherine (in the form of Elena) all over again! And then, OMG! They’re gonna kiss! And they do kiss! And then he stabs her! Whoah, Stefan! Smart thinking. That weakens Katherine enough so that Stefan can chain her up in the basement and tickle her with vervain. Wow, Stefan, you’ve got some serious balls!
Flashback! Drink! George Lockwood is talking to Katherine, and they threaten each other in a very old-fashioned and civil way.
Cut to Jenna’s BBQ, and Jenna and Uncle Benicio are taking shots! Jenna, you lucky slut. In walks Alaric! (I refuse to call him Rick.) Damon walks in, and Jenna gets mad because she thinks he kissed Elena. Damon and Uncle Benicio quip a little bit. Caroline is there, and she tells Elena how hard it is to resist ripping human’s throats out, which gets Elena to thinking….
Flashback! Drink! Stefan is so in love with Katherine. Aw, he’s touching her face with mickey mouse gloves, and they kiss, and he tells her he’s in love with her, and unless she’s being super tricksy, that moves her cold dead heart. Then Damon is in her room already, and he wants to make out a little, but she’s actually… feeling something. In the present day, this makes Stefan look like he’s going to cry.
Flash to Jenna’s party! They’re playing Pictionary, and Damon is drawing! Uncle Benicio guesses the right answer, which is Dances With Wolves. Then Damon sees Grandma Gilbert’s silver set.
Back in the dungeon, Katherine continues her story to Stefan. Flashback! Drink! Katherine made a deal with George Lockwood the werewolf, to sell out all the other vampires in Mystic Falls so he would help her escape, and she would be presumed dead!
At the BBQ, Damon and Alaric are grilling Uncle Benicio, but he deftly handles their sneaky accusations. Elena is worried that she hasn’t heard from Stefan, and wants to go to the Salvatore house, and Caroline, says she’ll drive. But then Caroline sabotages her tire. Uh-oh, Caroline, is this part of the ‘fun’ Katherine said you and she would have?
Flashback! Drink! Katherine recounts the turning of the brothers, her capture, and Stefan and Damon’s attempt to rescue her, only to be shot in the chests by their father.
Uncle Benicio finally calls Damon’s quipping bluff, and says he just wants to be friends, so they shake hands, but then Damon steals a knife out of the silver drawer. No Damon! Uncle Benicio is way too yummy to kill!
Meanwhile, Caroline’s tire sabotage works, then Uncle Benicio and Damon leave at the same time! Yikes!
Back at the car, Caroline is telling Elena some things she doesn’t want to hear. Why are you saying these things, Caroline, even if they are true?
Then Damon sneaks up on Uncle Benicio and stabs him in the chest! NOOOOOO! Oh, thank god for small miracles and made-up monster-lore! Silver doesn’t kill werewolves, silly Damon! But now you’ve made another enemy. Come on, guys, why can’t you just take your shirts off and get along?
Back at the Salvatore’s we find out Katherine was only faking about the torture! She so smart! She pulled a Westley, and has spent the last several years building up a tolerance to iocane powder vervain. Then she stakes him! Just as Elena walks in the door!
Then Elena is calling for Stefan, but Katherine sneaks up behind her! And introduces herself! Holy crap! Katherine, for someone who’s so evil and scary, you sure are polite. Upon meeting each other for the first time, Elena is understandably concerned. Then Stefan, fresh from pulling the stake out of himself, runs in, and Katherine disappears! Only to reappear behind Caroline in the bathroom of the Bronze! And Katherine is threatening Caroline about failing to keep Elena from interrupting her time with Stefan, and Caroline has a sad. It’s okay, Caroline, I love you.
Then Tyler pushes Uncle Benicio one step too far, and he tells Tyler that if he kills someone, then the curse of being a werewolf is with him forever. Can you handle that, Tyler? I don’t think so! Poor Uncle Benicio. Tyler, give him his moon rock.
Back at the Bronze, Caroline and Elena make up, but then all those things that Caroline said to Elena are kind of working, because she picks a fight with Stefan, daring him to break up with her. Elena then tells him that Katherine wants to come between them, and Stefan says that she already has! Crap! Elena leaves and the camera pans to see Caroline was listening! Then it pans some more, and we see that Damon is listening! He smiles a little.
Damon walks outside to find Katherine waiting outside. He walks away from her, though, quipping as he goes. Good job Damon.
Elena comes home, having a sad, and Stefan’s there! OMG! They were faking it! I find myself both relieved and a little sad, but mostly relieved. Stefan tells Elena that Katherine has never cared about anyone, and Flashback! Drink!
Katherine looks to see the bodies of the dead Salvatore brothers, and tells Stefan she loves him, for reals! WTF?!!! She also gives George Lockwood the moonstone that Uncle Benicio has been looking for! Cut to modern day Katherine, and she’s crying!!!! Oh Stefan, you were wrong! Let’s all have a little sad for Katherine.
ZOMG! So what do you guys think? DOES Katherine really love Damon? Does he really love her? Did she really only compel Damon and not Stefan? Or are we all caught up in her web of deceit? Are you not so proud of Stefan and Elena (or the writers) for not falling for Katherine’s tricks to break them up? Will Caroline go all the way evil? Will there be ANY shirtless-ness in the next episode?
