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Welcome back to the Dawson’s Creek Rewatch Project, where JOEY AND PACEY’S END GAME HAS FINALLY KICKED OFF!!!! No more distractions, dummies. Start making out.
Let’s drink to our one true pairing!
The Dawson’s Creek Drinking Game
Drink Once every time:
Joey purses her mouth or chews on her lip
Joey tucks her hair behind her ear
Sex makes Dawson and/or Joey extremely uncomfortable
Grams says “Jennifaaah”
Pacey wears a shirt that makes you want to blind yourself
Audrey declares something risqué or insane with utter confidence
Drink Twice every time:
You have literally no idea why Joey is mad
Pacey gives someone a really good hug
Cool Jen Lindley is totally crapped on by the universe
Onto the episodes!
6.13 “Rock Bottom”
o-KAY I am bored of this storyline and also PACEY AND JOEY KISS IN THE NEXT EPISODE so I’m gonna rush through this. They tried to make Audrey go to rehab and she said no, no, no. She runs away and hooks up with a farty rando named Bob, and Joey hitches a ride with Eddie on his way to that writers’ workshop in California so she can physically force Audrey into rehabbing. There’s lots of back and forth – between Audrey and sobriety, between Joey and Eddie – but eventually Audrey’s almost r*ped at a bar and NOW she’s ready for rehab. Good lord. Also Joey and Eddie give a very protracted goodbye. Nobody cares, move it along.
I admit to being annoyed that Dawson’s Creek had to write not one but TWO near-sexual-assaults for this plucky character to prove to its audience that ***stuff has gotten really serious***. When she drove a car through Gail’s house and almost died of alcohol poisoning, I think we got the point. Anyway, she’s sober now, thank goodness. And her friendship with Joey remains the stuff of legend:
Other stuff that happened in this episode:
* So Dawson’s big break isn’t going as swimmingly as he might’ve hoped. No one respects him on set, least of all Natasha and the DP. After lots of humiliation and anxiety, Natasha finally feels bad for him and gives him a pep talk: man the hell up and direct this shit. He fires the DP and they finish the reshoots in style. Then he and Natasha bone for a couple of days and say a cheerful goodbye to each other. Dawson had his first casual relationship!
* Aww, Grams and Clifton Smalls have broken up. He wanted her to convert to Judaism, and homegirl isn’t having that. Jen feels bad for her, so she convinces CJ to hook Grams up with his Uncle Bill. Uncle Bill’s a real crass loud-mouth, but after a rocky start, he and Grams have a great night together. CJ and Jen are pleased with themselves, and then, suddenly, they kiss. Looks like this is gonna be a thing! Probably (definitely) a bad idea, but whatever.
How many times did I have to drink?
5
Oh, GRAMS
When Jen asks Grams if she and Clifton Smalls broke up thanks to incompatibility in the bedroom, Grams answers, “Any reference to Mr. Small’s surname is a misnomer, let’s leave it at that.”
Guess who
Okay, the most important thing about “Rock Bottom” (other than Audrey’s sobriety, I guess) is that it’s a Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared reunion between Busy Philipps and Seth Rogen, who plays Bob! They’re clearly having a blast together in this episode, and it’s really fun to see.
Guess who x2
Uncle Bill is played by Geoffrey Lewis, who’s a real hey it’s that guy.
WHOA
Okay, so right before watching this episode, I happened to watch one of my favorite episodes of Gilmore Girls, “They Shoot Gilmores, Don’t They?” AND JEN AND LANE ARE WEARING THE SAME TERRIBLE SWEATER. I mean, I guess it’s not too surprising, as these episodes aired within two months of each other on the same network, but it is surprising that any costume designer ever thought this sweater was a good idea, much less TWICE.
The least true thing anybody said this week
Audrey tells Eddie, as they’re saying their goodbyes, “You’re gonna go down in the books as one of the great loves of Joey Potter’s life,” which is, I’m sorry, hugely erroneous. As we’ll soon see, Eddie’s not even gonna go down in the books as the great love of Joey Potter’s week.
6.14 “Clean and Sober”
Okay!!! Okay okay okay! First up, the stuff we need to dispense with:
* Dawson visits Audrey in rehab. She’s doing well but bored. They stalk a Hollywood producer together and role-play inappropriately in group therapy, but they also bond and learn a lot about each other and themselves. It’s nice.
* CJ and Jen are now officially dating. He comes to a party that Pacey’s throwing and drinks a beer, which makes Jen super nervous because he’s an alcoholic. Yeah, that’s fair, Jen. CJ promises he’s okay, rather defensively, and they fight a little but then have super passionate sex. Uh, I dunno about this, guys.
* Emma needs a green card because she dropped out of school and lost her visa, so now she’s set to marry this little wastoid loser named Gus. Jack’s outraged and after Gus alienates everyone at the party and continuously gropes Emma while demanding that she make him a sandwich, she dumps him. Jack offers to marry Emma instead, because he’s sweet, but she can’t accept, and says she’ll go home to England. Uhm, maybe just go back to school? But obviously Dawson’s Creek is ready to move both of the romantic placeholders for Pacey and Joey outta the way in time for The Big Kahuna, and I am ON BOARD with that plan.
Okay!!!! Now onto the good stuff.
Pacey’s throwing a party to celebrate the giant new TV he just bought. Joey shows up ready to d-r-i-n-k, because she’s bummed about Eddie’s move. Pacey tells her this is a safe space, he’ll take care of her, and she can be as irresponsible as she likes. I love that! So does Joey, and she immediately gets super drunk and spills all of these deep, dark secrets to the newbies in the crew. It’s pretty hilarious. Have I mentioned recently that I love Drunk Joey? Pacey’s amused, but also clearly carrying a major torch for her. They have a couple of really sweet, candid conversations, and she teases him that he never got over her, and the look on his face says that’s very much true.
Joey organizes a Spin the Bottle game, and it’s excruciating because the whole time, you’re waiting for them to kiss, and they NEVER DO. They *almost* do, till stupid Gus breaks Pacey’s brand new TV. Goddammit, Gus!
But never fear!! Later that night, Pacey carries Joey upstairs and puts her into bed like she weighs nothing and he’s the most solicitous gentleman of all time, oh my goodness. He takes off her boots and tucks her in and it’s adorable, and all the while she’s kind of cutely rambling on about what a lovely drunk she is. And then, HE ADMITS he never got over her, and she points out that they never got to kiss during Spin The Bottle (which was clearly her aim with organizing that game, don’t front, girl, we’ve all pulled this move). And so they kiss!!!! It is super magical and romantic and I may have watched this scene five or seven or twenty times.
Yaaaaay!!!
How many times did I have to drink?
4
The truest thing anybody said this week
When Jen tells Pacey that CJ is in AA, Pacey asks, “What’s with all the underage alcoholics around here?”
Second best callback
One of the secrets Joey spills is to David, when she tells him about the time she painted Jack and he “got excited.”
Very best callback
I shouldn’t laugh at this but it honestly made me laugh SO HARD. The other secret Joey spilled was about Jen while she’s blabbing to CJ, and she just tosses off in this really casual way, “She killed a girl once. Killed her with champagne.” I’m still laughing now just thinking of it. Drunk Joey is so awesome.
Pacey facey
We can tell something’s different the moment the episode starts. Joey’s helping Pacey shop for his new TV, and the way he looks at her is very Season 3 Pacey Witter (HEART EYES)
That’s it for this week! Readers, I have a question for you: JUST KIDDING, NO QUESTION, LET’S ALL SQUEE TOGETHER!!
Meet me here next Wednesday morning as we cover “Castaways” (GUYS!!!!) and “That Was Then.”
