The last time we got an Effy episode, she was completely silent and OD’d on heroin? I’d like to think things would get better than that, but this is Skins we are watching, so you never know.
While Effy and Tony’s dad is out of town, they are semi under the watch of their mother who is still depressed over Tony and now gulping down his meds. Things don’t seem like they are going so well. Here’s what we learn about Effy.
1. She has no friends
This is what she tells Pandora (!!!!) after she’s been assigned to show her around school. Panda basically challenges herself to be friends with Effy and hangs upside down from a tree, taking her bra off with no hands. It’s super impressive even Effy’s impressed.
She’s not particularly good at showing Pandora that they are friends but they have one of the nights together where you can’t really go back from and end up wasted spooning.
2. Their mom is a disaster
She’s totally wasted and out of it—making cock jokes to their friends. Effy describes her as just tired after taking the pills away from her. But Effy has been taking care of her because what else is she supposed to do. Their dad finally comes back at the very and seems happy to see their mom. So, let’s hope the best for Mama Stonem.
3. She gives great advice
She tells Sid that he’s been with the wrong girl because men are dicks. Effy’s #realtalk game is very strong. She’s decided to sort out Sid’s “soap opera” as long as he does her art homework because he is “emotional.” She tries to reach out to Cassie (who is now her weed supplier?) but Cass is super unreceptive about Sid.
Sid also comes to Effy with shitty art, so she tells him he needs to stay until he makes something worthwhile or she’ll also make Tony think they are having sex. She uses her douche friend boning (they didn’t bone) Cassie as motivation for Sid to go find her. He finally confronts Cassie about his dad and her not being there for him. It’s pretty sad actually and he admits that he and Michelle weren’t anything. Finally, Sid and Cassie get back together. Really hoping that Cassie backs up from the deep end after this.
She also sells Michelle’s watch that Tony had given her as a way to get Tony over Michelle, except he’s furious with her. But Effy actually had the watch fixed and sent to Michelle and engraved with “forever” on the back. After that, Michelle finally answers her phone, telling Tony she loves him too.
4. She claims to not care about people
When she catches Tony talking to their mom, she says “why bother caring about people?” And Tony tells Effy that she doesn’t fool him. And she doesn’t because she just made a new friend and successfully fixed two relationships, who would do that if she didn’t give a shit about people?
Necessary Effy Judgment
Random Observations
- Tony has called Michelle 39 times and texted her 149 times. He also has a super sad photo album filled with pictures of her.
- Panda’s hilarious crimped bangs!
- I’m totally tired of the Sid/Tony back and forth over Michelle.
- Tony and Sid’s special high five is pretty adorable though.
- Love that Cassie sent Sid a “fuck off and die” picture.
- Effy’s hair is so great.
- Cassie has a girlfriend now? She’s discovered the “power of the pussy.”
- Tony apologizing to his sleeping mom about everything is sad.
- Panda’s high-as-f face while checking out Tony’s dick is so funny.
- Of course, Effy knows all the bouncers at the clubs.
- Effy’s dude friend who wants to bone her is extremely annoying. She says they’ll bone if he sells enough spliff that night which he does. She sends him to Cassie.
- Tony gives the bouncer advice on structuring his novel.
- Effy’s art teacher who always talks about fucking famous artists is a ridiculous woman.
- Effy gave Sid’s artwork to Panda to turn in, so she deals with the possibility of expulsion for not turning in the assignment. In true Effy fashion, she doesn’t give a shit.
Next week: Jal has to finally deal with being pregnant! Girl needs to get her shit together.
About the Contributor:
Kerensa Cadenas is a writer living in Los Angeles. She grew up on binge reading Sweet Valley High and watching Saved by the Bell at a very young age. Hence, she is now unable to grow out of this life-long phase. She loves terrible teen television, young adult novels and probably listens to One Direction more than she should. She also enjoys more adult things like margaritas on patios and dance parties. A Marcus Flutie/Nate Archibald man-hybrid remains her ideal.
