Elena is looking fit in silhouette as she walks down a deserted street. But then she lies down in the middle of the road. Hmmm… The Salvatore brothers are arguing over whether the whole “turning off Elena’s humanity” thing is a good thing, or a bad thing. Meanwhile, Elena pulls a trick out of Damon’s bag, and eats a passer-by who stopped. Because she was in the middle of the road. (Oh Shit! +1) Damon, however, is awesome *Drink!* when he asks her to show a little restraint, and only eat the lady a little bit.
Faye is hanging out at a truck stop, like you do, when some random vampire attacks her. (Oh Shit! +2) Klaus saves the day, and is awesome *Drink!* while doing it.
Whoah! Side boob in the shower! Once again, the Salvatore brothers are arguing over what to do with Elena. Caroline comes in, which is nice, because, haven’t we NOT seen her in a while? I don’t know! I’m old! I need to take up another language or Sudoku to keep my brain active, but until I do that, let’s just focus on the fact that Elena just walked out naked in front of everybody, and it was awesomely *drink!* awkward. Also, they all decide that the best thing for Elena to do is… go to school?
Elena pauses in the hallway, looking at a flyer for Jeremy’s memorial service, but with her new NO FEELINGS, is also drawn to one about cheerleading! Matt, our new President of the Handsome Club, is looking for Bonnie, but more important than that is this: if Caroline can’t be with Klaus, I want her to get back together with Matt. Because they were awesome together, before her being a vampire messed everything up. Because I’m just going to come out and finally commit: I don’t care about Tyler. I’ve tried, y’all. I’ve tried.
Damon visits Klaus, looking for info about Katherine, but Klaus isn’t very forthcoming. (Surprise!) However, they are both awesome *drink!* in their own Klausish and Damonish ways.
Stefan visits Mommy Sheriff, who’s kind of stressed out about all the house fires and the fact that ALL the blood has vanished from the Mystic Falls blood banks. Who could it have been?!!! Fade to Elena and Caroline in their cheerleading uniforms. They both look amazing, but more important than that is the fact that one of their opposing cheer team’s girls is looking tasty. Elena corners her on the bus and eats her, while stealing her incredibly long hair ribbon. It’s a nice, if improbable shot. Caroline confronts her about the ribbon, which makes me kind of giggle. Stefan calls Damon to tell him that now that Elena’s feelings are turned off, the sire bond no longer works. What? George: We have run out of stories…
Damon is at the truck stop, looking for the half-dead vampire, but finds Rebekah instead. She has a little vial of Klaus’s blood with her, just like Angelina and Billy Bob used to carry around.
Faye is snarkily impressed by how well Klaus is treating her, so she tells him all about being an orphan. This melts Klaus’s heart, because he’s just like the pirates in The Pirates of Penzance. Do you know what it feels like to be an orphan?
Elena shows off her flexibility by kicking her leg up onto Stefan’s shoulder, and tells him that she didn’t steal Mystic Falls’ blood bag supply, because she prefers her blood warm and wriggling, much like Gollum.
Then there’s this whole cheerleading routine, but Elena purposefully lets Caroline fall on the floor! Oh noes! That is harsh. (Oh Shit! +3) No feelings has totally made Elena a mean girl. Somebody get some Kalteen bars, quick!
Stefan pretends to be impressed with Elena’s Regina George impression, but stabs then her with some Vervain.
Faye is kind of awesome *Drink!* but also really annoying with her assessment of Klaus’s paintings. Clearly, she hasn’t seen the one he did of Caroline and a pony. Klaus, however, is just plain awesome. *Drink!* Faye redeems herself by trying to save Tyler, and Klaus tells her that he doesn’t really have plans to kill Tyler, just to make him paranoid for the rest of his life. Turns out Faye might have some info.
Stefan is awesome *Drink!* with his accusation “when in doubt, manipulate people with sex” to Elena, but she doesn’t feel anything anymore. She doesn’t understand why he cares. Like, why does his whole world revolve around Elena? Get a life, dude! Meanwhile, she’s been arranging a party at the Salvatore mansion! Par-tay! (Oh Shit! +4)
It’s straight up hedonism at the party, and Caroline and Stefan can’t compel everyone to leave, since Daddy Mayor pumped Vervain into the water system.
Meanwhile, Damon and Rebekah finally track down the half-dead vampire. It would seem that Damon knows him — that they’re friends, even. But then Damon stakes him. Curiouser and curiouser. (Oh Shit! +5)
Faye and Klaus flirt while talking about Tyler and Caroline and paintings, (but not the one of Caroline and the pony!) and then they have vampire/were sex. And I find that… I just don’t care. I think maybe that’s why I want Faye to be with Tyler. Because I don’t care about either of them nearly as much as I care about everybody else. However, we do get to see a Shirtless Klaus, *Drink!* now with tattoos! And a bird one in particular, that is lovely. Had we seen that before? Oy, my brain.
Elena is totally cold to Stefan and Caroline, suggesting they hook up at the party, and then she attacks Mommy Sheriff! (Oh Shit! +6) Caroline jumps in and saves her mom, but while they’re distracted, Elena disappears! (Oh Shit! +7) Damon wishes Rebekah would leave him alone. He points out a bunch of girls who are peaking in high school, and shares his opinions on being human — meaning, he’s not a fan of the cure.
Caroline and Stefan go hunting for Elena in the woods, and Caroline finds her! And they fight! *Drink!* Also, I’m thinking that this is evidence that Elena’s feelings aren’t ACTUALLY turned off!!! Because she’s mad at Caroline for butting into everyone’s business! Remember how mad we all war about that very thing, just a few episodes ago? I love how this show can make me change alliances on a weekly basis. Anyway, since Alaric trained Elena how to fight, she gets the better of Caroline. (Oh Shit! +8) Damon and Stefan step in just in time to save her, so Caroline goes and leaves Tyler another phone message. Jeez. Stefan tries to make Caroline feel better, but Caroline points out that Elena doesn’t have a whole lot to “live” (so to speak) for. Stefan won’t give up, though.
Damon is going through some old photos, while babysitting Elena, and finds a picture of himself and the now all-dead vampire. Elena says some stuff to him about feelings, or the lack thereof, and notes that he actually likes her better this way.
Caroline goes to meet Matt at the dead mayor’s (squared) house, but she can’t enter, on account of the fact that the house has been left to Matt, and he hadn’t invited her! Whoah! Tyler sent Caroline a message telling her just that, and that he loves her, but he’s not coming back. Caroline has a sad, *Drink!* and Matt comforts her.
In post-coital sneaking-out-of-bed, Klaus notices a birthmark on Faye’s shoulder. It ties her to an ancient wolf pack… from Georgia. Ancient Georgian wolf packs. Riiiiight.
Mommy Sheriff calls Stefan to report that more hospitals have lost their blood supply, and Stefan shares this info with Damon, but Damon and Elena are headed to NYC for some fun times, so they don’t care that it’s probably Silas (in PSS’s body) who’s totally gorging himself on blood cupcakes. (Oh Shit! +8)
Next week, Damon and Elena take Manhattan! Alright, what did we think of this episode? A bit of a bridge between the devastation that was Jeremy dying and the rest of the season, yes? But also with some interesting tidbits dropped here and there. Is Tyler truly gone? Are you, like me, fine with that, or do you want him back? Tell all in the comments!
