About the Book
-
Authors:
- Hannah Burcaw
- Shane Burcaw
- Genre:
- Memoir / Biography
Cover Story: Too Cute
Drinking Buddy: Pass Him a Straw
MPAA Rating: NC-17 (graphic though technical depictions of sex)
Talky Talk: That Obnoxiously Cute Couple
Bonus Factors: Sex Positivity
Anti-Bonus Factor: Ableism
Bromance Status: Yes
Cover Story: Too Cute
Great picture of the two main authors. The conventionally attractive Hannah, and the visibly disabled Shane drive home the unique and fun relationship of this couple.
The Deal:
YouTubers and authors Shane and Hannah Burcaw have an interabled marriage: Shawn has spinal muscular atrophy, and needs help with tasks such as dressing, eating, and using the bathroom. This often falls to his non-disabled wife, Hannah. In this book, they discuss their own marriage, as well as interview other interabled and disabled couples. They’re wretchedly adorable.
Drinking Buddy: Pass Him a Straw
Shawn is not one of those guys who refers to himself as ‘differently-abled’ or ‘handicapable’. He’s very up front about his limitations and the zany situations he and Hannah find themselves in. In an amusing story, he relates how he and a quadriplegic friend ordered and drank beers on their own, a titanic task for men with very limited hand movement.
MPAA Rating: NC-17 (graphic though technical depictions of sex)
The Burcaws often have to put up with obnoxious online (or in-person) comments by people who assume there’s no way that a woman as beautiful as Hannah would ever be attracted to someone like Shane, let alone have a sexual relationship. This book lays that idea to rest. It’s nice to know it’s not just an emotional relationship, but sometimes I wanted to shout ‘TMI!’ They’re like that uninhibited couple who just love to talk about their kinks over dinner.
Talky Talk: That Obnoxiously Cute Couples
So we hear from about a dozen couples, how they met, and the challenges they face in interabled relationships. However, most of these interviews devolve into meet cutes and ‘no, I love you more’ tales of schmaltz. I’m not the kind of guy who likes to read about real life people and their adorable first trip to the ice cream parlor.
Bonus Factors: Sex Positivity
According to most of the contributors of this book, a lot of people view the disabled like children or animals, beings totally devoid of sexual desires and abilities. No non-disabled person would ever look at them with lust, and their partners are obviously only in it because they’re gold diggers or are seeing someone on the side. This book hammers home that disabled people can be dirty ol’ perverts, just like the rest of us.
Anti-Bonus Factor: Ableism
The personal narratives in this book sometimes made me want to punch a stranger, with the invasive and insensitive questions and comments from outsiders. Some are just run-of-the-mill ignorant, like assuming a partner is a caregiver (they’re often both), declaring how brave the nondisabled partner is (often right in front of the disabled partner), or simply not minding one’s own business. However, there are some people who try for and achieve a special kind of stupid. Like the guy who asked his coworker if he used his wife’s ostomy port for sex. Or people who’d tell an amputee that they’d kill themselves if they had to go through what she did. Or the woman who asked her coworker if she was aware that her boyfriend was a dwarf.
Inside voices, people.
Bromance Status: Yes
The Burcaws strike me as a couple that would be great to have over for game night, until they had a couple of drinks and started talking about the intimate details of their relationship.
And if someone truly loves you, they won’t mind wiping for you.
Literary Matchmaking
Shane’s first book, Strangers Assume My Girlfriend is My Nurse is also informative and hilarious.
Where You See Yourself, by Claire Forrest, is about a young wheelchair user, trying to find a balance between accessibility and living a normal life.
(Don’t) Call Me Crazy is a collection of real life stories of neuro-atypical people.
FCC Full Disclosure: I got a free e-copy of this book from the publisher, but no edibles or money.
