Ah, Season 4B—we miss you already. From spending a weekend at Murder Cabin, to hallucinating in glamorous black and white, to hiding piles of cash in foodstuff containers all around Rosewood, we have been on a delightfully nutso ride together. Three long, dark, impossibly dull months loom ahead before Season 5 begins in June, but we’re not really to let our Liars go quite yet. To commemorate the end of Season 4B, and to reminisce about all of the fun involuntary dental procedures we’ve shared together, we have some awards to share.
First, some classic HS Yearbook Awards…
Most Improved
Hanna Marin. This season, Hanna went from our favorite lunkhead to a murder mystery buff and Schemer In Chief, tracking down clues and standing up to cops all over Rosewood. She even read four books!
Best Hair
On some of these, we just couldn’t decide. So we’ll let you be the judge!
The nominees are…
Best PLL 4B Hair (Poll Closed)
Total Votes: 158
The clear winner is “backlighting,” and also “everyone.”
Most Likely To Succeed
Mona Vanderwaal. In the season finale we learned that Mona manipulated Ali—Ali!—into faking her own death, disappearing for two years, AND giving Mona a makeover. We would vote for her for president, follow her into a fiery abyss, and we’ll never, ever bet against her.
Cutest Couple
Hanna & Travis. Cartoon hearts for days and days. Something about Travis’ aw-shucks charm and willingness to do difficult (police lineup), bizarre (Murder Cabin rescue), or necessary (quiet hand holding) things for Hanna, no questions asked, just warms our snarky hearts. Hanna’s our darling this season, and she deserves a darling of her own.
Now, the awards that will only ever show up in Rosewood, PA…
Weirdest Thing Found In Hanna’s Mouth
Ha! We bet you thought we were going to say that note that A left. But nope, the award goes to… NOT Holbrook’s tongue! High five, responsible adult man!
Creepiest ‘A’ Move
TOOTH NOTE. I mean, we couldn’t let it go completely. It was terrifying.
GIF from prettylittleliars
Most Likely to be A
Wren. We haven’t seen Rosewood’s lone Medical Professional around lately—good thing there haven’t been too many mortal wounds or dramatic accidents or debilitating addictions. Oh, wait… Hey, maybe Wren-as-A is just drumming up business for himself!
Honorable mentions: Jason; everyone’s evil twin.
Least Likely to be A
Zach. Remember Aria’s mom’s new boyfriend-turned-fiancé? Yep. Him. For no reason other than we want to believe in the power of donuts.
Honorable mention: Both Fields parents.
Best “Out of Town” Explanation
Best PLL 4B ‘Out of Town’ Explanation (Poll Closed)
- Toby when to London to “run into” Melissa (but really went to NYC to be in a play) 46.85% (52 votes)
- Jenna was almost drowned to death (but really had a baby) 28.83% (32 votes)
- Wren ALSO went to London to…doctor (but really went to ABC to be a Prince) 22.52% (25 votes)
- Other: 1.8% (2 votes)
Total Votes: 111
Most Inappropriate Relationship
Aria & Ezra first meet. Technically this happened in season 1, but it only became truly horrifying when we found out that EZRA KNEW ARIA WAS SIXTEEN.
Most Aria Moment
The Guidance Counselor. It’s only about ten minutes between when Aria finds out there’s a new guidance counselor at Rosewood High and when she’s telling him all her complicated, confusing life problems.
Runners-up: Boiling down Ezra’s two-year long betrayal into “He never really loved me;” interrupting Alison’s tale of constant almost-murder to yell at her for not understanding Ezra’s invocation of Holly Golightly.
Most Emily Moment
Take that, Fitz. She’s shutting him down… but she also did her homework.
Most Hanna Moment & Most Spencer Moment (Dual Award!)
Midnight Visit. Spencer, hopped up, making Hanna’s bed (while Hanna is STILL IN IT) and trying to convince Hanna to come sleuthing with her. At 4 AM. Hanna, lounging in her silken sheets, telling it like it is.
Meanest Alison
Oh, so many to choose from!
Meanest Alison (Poll Closed)
- Drugging the Liars to (illogically) see if they were A 14.4% (18 votes)
- Manipulating Emily into believing Ali might still love her, and then getting Em to run her errands 19.2% (24 votes)
- Turning Emily and Spencer against each other FOR NO REASON SHE KNEW SPENCER WAS INNOCENT 34.4% (43 votes)
- Telling Hanna that someone will love her for who she is… it might just take a long, long time (flashback but MAN) 31.2% (39 votes)
- Other: 0.8% (1 votes)
Total Votes: 125
Nicest Alison
Fake Alison. The one that appeared in Emily’s dream, and was fake.
Best Montage
Tie between Spencer solving crimes, and Ezra committing them. The real winner here is the one episode in which someone managed to house both montages in all their glory.
Best Episode
MURDER CHICKPEAS + AMAZING MONTAGES goes head to head with BEAUTIFUL NOIR MIND PALACE. Which episode will prevail?
Best PLL 4B Episode (Poll Closed)
- Noir Mind Palace 51.69% (61 votes)
- Chickpea Murder Cabin 48.31% (57 votes)
Total Votes: 118
Worst Episode
“A is for Answers”. Ali spent the entire finale spoon-feeding us answers to seasons-long mysteries. And yet… we were very underwhelmed. From now on, we are anti-answers. Bring on the confusion, the intrigue, the crazy.
Best In-Show Theory
Hanna and the Importance of Policework. This started as an award for Hanna’s Sara “Also Blonde and Missing” Harvey theory (which we still don’t think is FULLY invalidated), but really: she read four books! And if those four books taught her anything, it’s that mysteries are best solved by SLEUTHING, not secret-keeping. Good theory, Hanna! Just stay away from Spencer’s Study Aid and you’ll have the Answer in no time.
Best Actual Policework
Finale bullpen bumper suspects. Detective Holbrook makes some pretty good in-roads on the Cece manhunt and Paige’s anonymous Ali note, but since those mysteries were “solved” by A handing Cece over on a make-up-free platter, we’re handing him this award for sending the Hastingses, Cece, and Mrs. D through the RPD bullpen to watch sparks fly. It may have led to Mrs. D’s murder, but it also set Melissa up to give us an infuriating new secret to obsess over.
Best Fan Theory
TWIIIIIINS. Everyone has an evil twin, and they are all A.
Bonus Superlative Poll:
Most Likely to Have a Twin (Poll Closed)
- Jessica DiLaurentis 10.08% (12 votes)
- Alison DiLaurentis 52.1% (62 votes)
- Jason DiLaurentis 15.97% (19 votes)
- Spencer Hastings 5.88% (7 votes)
- Cece Drake 5.88% (7 votes)
- …Garrett Reynolds. We dunno, why not? 0% (0 votes)
- Ezra Fitzgerald 5.88% (7 votes)
- Mona Vanderwaal 3.36% (4 votes)
- Other: 0.84% (1 votes)
Total Votes: 119
Worst PLL-Associated Affliction
Rosewood-Induced Generic White Boy Face Blindness (#RIGWBFB). There are far too many generic white boys in Rosewood, and we cannot tell any of them apart. Please show your support for this devastating affliction by tweeting about #RIGWBFB.
Best GIF
This one. Thank you, prettylittleliarsquestions! And we’ll throw a general “thank you!” out to the fine technological wizards of the Tumblr #PLL community, without whom these recaps would be much less kinetic/our jokes would have far softer punchlines.
Best (Meaning WORST) Official Hashtag
#LiarsAreTrapped. JK ALL OF THEM. WHO IS IN CHARGE OF THESE. If we were in charge (ahem), every episode would include at least one #RosewoodMenAreGarbage.
Best Foreshadowing
“My days here are numbered…” Ezra says this in the half-season opener, presumably about Rosewood High. But we hope it’s truly about this mortal coil. Bye, Ezra!
Biggest Letdown
#EzraIsntA. Hands down the thing we are most pissed about here at FYA/Murder Cabin central. But let’s put it up for a vote!
PLL 4B Biggest Letdown (Poll Closed)
- #EzraIsntA 35.71% (40 votes)
- Ezra isn’t in jail 19.64% (22 votes)
- Mona ended up being afraid of no one worse than an unpublished true crime writer??(!!) 16.07% (18 votes)
- The utter, uncharacteristic lack of compassion with which Emily treated Paige re: everything 3.57% (4 votes)
- The writers taking lazy storytelling shortcuts in the finale 25% (28 votes)
Total Votes: 112
Best Use of Silence
Ezra talks, Emily stares. And stares. And stares.
Worst Seeker of Redemption
Ezra. Because the best way to make right your stalking and manipulation of one endangered teenaged girl is to cross the country to track down another endangered teenaged girl to manipulate her into giving away the whereabouts of ANOTHER, even MORE endangered teenaged girl, all in order to UNendanger the first teenaged girl, whose endangerment you were contributing to for the entirety of the two years until the moment she learned your secret…yes, that tracks. (Ezra, you are garbage.)
Most Promising Plot Device That Came To Nothing
The Liars’ Doppelgangers. DOPPELHANNER AND DOPPELFLANNEL, COME BACK. WE MISS YOU.
Most Seasonally Inappropriate Scene
Ezria’s Chair Lift. WHY WAS THERE A CHAIR LIFT THERE. WHERE DID IT COME FROM. WHERE DID IT LEAD. WHY WAS IT RUNNING. (Scary Chair Lift was also nominated tonight for “Dumbest Location To Trap Yourself With A Known Predator”)
Best Toby Hair
More delicious than a cronut. SHUT YOUR MOUTH. And let us stroke your hair.
Best Declodyne
Declodyne. We still have no idea what was going on with this storyline, but boy do we like saying “Declodyne.” DECLODYNE.
Best Bridal Gown
Fingerbone Corset. In a season without funeral chic, we have to be satisfied with the next best thing. The winner, of course, is the one that should probably have been worn to a funeral.
Best Can of Murder Chickpeas
Can of Murder Chickpeas. We’re gonna make some real good murder falafel with those.
Best DiLaurentis Creep
Mrs D, in the window. Slow, silent, shudder. (And this is saying a lot, considering the week before she was IN SPENCER’S PITCH BLACK ROOM)
Best Whirlaround
All of them. But especially this one. The synchronicity! The hair! We love it.
And finally, little liars, your season 4B LVP and MVP…
SEASON 4B LVP
Clearly the worst person in the whole of Rosewood, PA—aside from A, who has actually MURDERED PEOPLE—is Ezra Fitz. But no one was expecting him to contribute to the solving the the A mystery/ending of the Liars’ torment (not even him, and he knew his own secrets the past four seasons). So, much as it breaks our Liar-loving hearts to do it, we are handing out this season’s LVP award to… Emily Fields.
Emily: “I’d say you are doing a really good job at that all on your own!”
GIF from plldailly
GIF from plldailly
Emily, you are the star of our hearts, and have always been almost infuriatingly kind and beautiful in the face of a serious shit-ton of terror—from A, from Cousin Nate/Lyndon, from your own family. But this season you too often let Ali’s imminent return blind you to to the people who needed you most: Spencer, whose investigation had already put her on the razor edge of a return to Radley; Hanna, whose legitimate character development you shut down with snide remarks about giving up her books; Paige, whose entire PERSONHOOD had been victimized by Ali, and whose first reaction upon hearing Ali was alive was not to run screaming into the darkest corner she could find, but to make sure YOU were okay and safe.
Alexis’ father has a theory that has guided his life (and, thusly, ANNOYINGLY, hers): Punished for Excellence…and Em, we hate to say that this is you, this year. Anyone else in your situation, reacting the way you did, would probably get a pass. But when you are Emily Fields, the bar is set higher.
In fact, PLL writers, this goes for you in general: you don’t have to be perfect. We can’t and shouldn’t expect that. But you are in so many ways THE VERY BEST OUT THERE, and so any mistakes we see? Any laziness, or terrible dreams (on your part) of predator redemption? We’re calling them out. Because you are excellent, and we wish for it always to be so.
SEASON 4B MVP
Hanna Marin! The sleuthing! The gun-grabbing! The lobbying Detective Holbrook on behalf of Travis’ dad in the middle of always being almost murdered just to make someone else’s life easier! The A-NESS OF THINGS! And girl is OWNING her love of food. No more picking croutons off her salad as the ghost of Ali whispers bulimia in her ear. If Hanna wants a cookie, she’ll eat a cookie. If she wants to kiss Tow Truck Travis, she will ask his consent and then just kiss the damn kid.
Stay golden, Hanna girl.
LINGERING QUESTIONS
There are far too many to list here. Enjoy our gif reaction to the very concept of getting answers on PLL at murdercabin, and lay out all the questions you most want answered in the comments!
OUR BIGGEST WISHES FOR SEASON 5
- That Ezra gets convicted by at LEAST the writers, if not Rosewood authorities, for being a for-real predator
- That Travis gets to stick around
- That Spencer gets a break from being the crazy once
- That Ali isn’t forgiven immediately
- That Ali and Mona face off
- That Mona proves she was playing Ezra (way less scary than Ali) all along
- That Emily apologizes to Paige and starts thinking about more than just Ali, now that Ali is alive and moving back
- That Hanna’s sleuthing leads to a real, legitimate break in the case
- …and that the showrunners realize what a mistake it would be to have our Liars skip the holiday Rosewood was built for and give us a Christmas episode AND a Halloween episode, especially for Catie’s All Hallows Eve Eve birthday. Although… we are supes excited for ChristmAs in Rosewood. ALL the parents In Town at the same time? Potential seasonally-appropriate precipitation?? THE WORLD WILL EXPLODE.
Until June, Liars! (And come find us at murdercabin in the meantime).
Kisses,
A(lexis and Catie)
About the Contributor:
Catie grew up in Denver, Colorado, where she often stayed up past her bedtime reading with a flashlight and once sent homemade Hogwarts acceptance letters to her friends. Now an adult, she still loves books and TV meant for teens, but is grateful to no longer have a bedtime.
