Michelle’s understandably having a rough go of it as of late. Her sociopath boyfriend who would never actually love her in the way she wanted got hit by a bus and is now an entirely different person. His best friend is in love with her but she’s not interested. Oh and her mom marries/divorces/remarries at lightning pace. So she’s dealing with all these things, a new stepfather and move, so she’s kind of a mess. Here’s what we learn about Michelle.
1. Things with Tony are complicated
Tony’s slowly becoming more like himself (as evidenced from his “sexy red top” text to Michelle while she stands outside his door) but things will never be the same. One, Tony’s mom isn’t a fan because Michelle didn’t come see him. And while there are glimpses of old Tony, they still are very few.
Michelle (for whatever reason) wants Tony to be back to normal, which I get, but he was such an asshole. Do you really want the guy who constantly reminded you that you have one boob that’s bigger than the other to be back to his old self? Ugh I get that it’s complicated but Michelle. Ughhhhh.
Also, his dick appears to not be working…Michelle’s not very understanding about it or the whole situation.
2. Michelle’s mom has remarried again
Poor Malcolm! Michelle’s mom has yet again married another oafish motherfucker and this time they’ve moved into a huge house outside the city. Michelle’s mom is claiming that this guy is the one who she has a future with, so maybe? But I don’t think she’s really feeling it very much.
Ted seems like a douche too. So Michelle’s mom has a type certainly. They also spring it on Michelle that Ted has a daughter. And Ted’s daughter, Scarlett, seems like she could be a piece of work—and has too close of a relationship with her dad.
Michelle’s mom unconsciously seems to favor these men over her own daughter, so it’s not surprising that Scarlett takes over Michelle’s room but it’s still sad. It is nice to see them make fun of Scarlett together for a brief bonding moment.
3. Michelle and Sid finally sleep together
It seemed like Michelle and Sid (primarily Sid) had gotten over whatever weird tension was there especially since he’s SUPPOSED TO BE IN LOVE with Cassie. The whole thing is weird and sudden though—Michelle seems like she’s only into it initially because Scarlett is hitting on Sid—so she realizes she’s into it? Or is she just into it because she needs all of the guys to always be into her?
Michelle makes the grand gesture of running after Sid after Scarlett tells her that he said he thinks he knows Michelle better than she knows herself. And then they do it. Finally.
And apparently it was good? Sid’s good at sex? Really? Michelle tells him that he made her come and no one has before. Informal poll: Do you think Sid would be good at sex? Yes or No? Explanations welcome!
Nothing puts a damper on good sex like YOUR CURRENT GIRLFRIEND SITTING ON YOUR BED WAITING FOR YOU! They are both such idiots.
Necessary Michelle Judgment
Random Observations
- Tony got Michelle a birthday present which she opens after she bones Sid. It’s a watch with a card saying “You wanted more time.” Dang Tony.
- Are they living in the house from the Disney movie Smart House?
- Michelle’s mom owns a PLETHORA of sex toys including a heavy duty looking rope sitch.
- Michelle’s butterfly necklace is awful.
- Love that Jal refers to hanging out with the guys as “babysitting.” Is Jal an OG misandrist?!
- All of the dude complaints are lady-centric.
- Michelle’s mom is terrible using chopsticks.
- Michelle’s facial expression about Scarlett is amazing.
- Why is this father/daughter so comfortable with being naked together?! It is SO creepy!
- All of the guys staring at Scarlett’s boobs is hilarious.
- The gang going camping for Michelle’s birthday will clearly be a disaster.
- This looks like the most uncomfortable car ride ever.
- Series Two of Skins is really just getting to see Anwar frequently naked.
- Chris would forget to tie the supplies to the roof. And Jal grabbing him by the balls is the best punishment for that.
- I think I like Scarlett! You can understand Michelle’s hesitation about her but she actually seems really cool.
- How do they manage to also have the tide submerge the car? These youths shouldn’t be allowed to go anywhere at all!
- How’d Sketch get here? More importantly, everyone now knows that Anwar is fucking Sketch. Maxxie is totally pissed. She’s still the scariest!
- I feel so so bad for Sid. He’s just really going through some shit.
- Is Michelle having a Y Tu Mama Tambien introspective moment when she goes skinny dipping?
Next week: Chris finally gets kicked out of school. I can’t believe it took this long.
About the Contributor:
Kerensa Cadenas is a writer living in Los Angeles. She grew up on binge reading Sweet Valley High and watching Saved by the Bell at a very young age. Hence, she is now unable to grow out of this life-long phase. She loves terrible teen television, young adult novels and probably listens to One Direction more than she should. She also enjoys more adult things like margaritas on patios and dance parties. A Marcus Flutie/Nate Archibald man-hybrid remains her ideal.
