Drinks Taken: 27
Welcome back to the Dawson’s Creek Rewatch Project! Last week, Meredith asked if I’m feeling any sympathy (not more, but any) for Dawson now that he actually has a reason to whine and mope and be generally annoying – the answer is… sort of? I do find him more tolerable now, but I still don’t particularly like him all that much. That Pacey Witter on the other hand…
Let’s drink to Pacey being effortlessly charming even when he’s wearing terrible shirts!
The Dawson’s Creek Drinking Game
Drink Once every time:
Joey purses her mouth or chews on her lip
Joey tucks her hair behind her ear
Sex makes Dawson and/or Joey extremely uncomfortable
Grams says “Jennifaaah”
Andie gives an impassioned speech (or rant)
Jack wears the straightest shoes possible
Pacey wears a shirt that makes you want to blind yourself
Drink Twice every time:
You have literally no idea why Joey is mad
Pacey gives someone a really good hug
Cool Jen Lindley is totally crapped on by the universe
Onto the episodes!
2.10 “High Risk Behavior”
The episode opens with a moment that would send Tumblr into a ‘shipping spiral, as Dawson and Pacey act out a scene from Dawson’s new script:
WELL THEN. I am not sure why the entire episode didn’t just use Salt-n-Pepa’s “Let’s Talk About Sex” in the background on a damn loop. Yes, sex has been the primary subject of interest for our Creek teens since the first episode, but this episode is straight-up sexually charged. Like if it had an aura it would be in the shape of a giant condom.
Dawson is using his award money from the Boston Film Festival to make his new movie (which will allegedly play the “festival circuit”), but it’s pretty much a biopic about his relationship with Joey, and EVERYONE knows it – though he does an okay job of being vague about the plot when Joey asks him about it. “Young boy… comes of age… in a small town…” Okay Spielberg, calm down. Since Joey is too busy with art class, Jen steps in to produce the film and help Dawson wrangle students to audition. Strangely but perhaps not surprisingly, Abby and Chris are the best of the bunch, and I really think Abby doth protest Chris’ advances too much as they act out the roles of romantic leads.
But about that script… Everyone – especially Jen – thinks Dawson’s decision to have his characters abstain from sex is disingenuous, and they kind of have a point. Jen lectures him on the finer points of love and lust, and how the latter always informs the former but the opposite is not always true. Dawson is committed to making a romantic movie, but Jen maintains that sex CAN be romantic and interesting – it just depends on the motive. This is a lot of thoughtful talk from a girl whose latest hobby is binge-drinking and puking on fences. Welcome back, sensible Jen! Well, not entirely sensible, but we’ll get back to that.
Meanwhile, Joey’s first art assignment involves drawing a nude male model, and though she acts all mature and unruffled about it, when pressed by Dawson she admits that she’s broken 12 pencils. After complimenting her work, Jack accidentally spills his chocolate milk (SO CUTE) all over her drawing (NOT CUTE) and ruins it, leaving Joey with no way to make up the assignment before it’s due. Jack sweetly offers to pose for her, which makes Joey uncomfortable, but she ultimately agrees to draw him like one of her French girls:
There’s a lot of adorable fumbling and bumbling, and Joey almost calls the whole thing off until Jack’s towel accidentally drops and she gets an eyeful of dong, which deflates all that nervous sexual tension – a little, anyway. Joey’s prudishness about seeing Jack naked is cute but also a little grating, but once she gets it over with, the two share a nice moment where he describes his one sexual experience using famous paintings for reference. Things get a little heated until they’re interrupted by the phone ringing and Jack’s unintentional boner – he’s embarrassed and Joey is sweet and awkward about it, but when Jack puts his clothes back on everything goes back to normal and these two suck face for a bit.
In other sexual news, Andie and Pacey have decided that they both want to bone but they’re going to wait until the right moment. Andie describes her ideal first time like she’s talking about her dream wedding and GAH these two are so cute:
Later, Pacey takes Andie out on her dream date, following her First Time Blueprint perfectly. But just when they’re about to get it on in a romantic bed and breakfast, Pacey decides that he isn’t ready, and Andie seems like she’s trying to convince herself when she’s not ready, either, but Pacey is so charming and the next thing you know, these two are making out again.
But let’s get back to Dawson and Jen: although she spurned his advances last week, Jen is using all this sexy talk about Dawson’s script to not-so-subtly insinuate her way back to being his girlfriend. It’s a whole lot of NOPE NOPE NOPE. She baits Dawson into complimenting her, and later he admits to still wondering about what might have been, and it all eventually leads to him climbing into Jen’s bedroom window in the middle of the night after he’s been staring longingly at a photo of Joey. He says he’s been thinking about what she said about “love vs. hurt vs. lust vs. distraction,” and tells Jen, “Don’t ask about my motive.” She says she knows better (IT’S DISTRACTION) and proceeds to heavily make out with him anyway, which pretty much sums up the life of Jen Lindley. Here she is, making out in bed with a boy who wishes she was someone else, and she’s ACTING TOTALLY OKAY WITH IT. Stop being so thirsty, Jen.
The episode ends with “To be continued,” but don’t worry, we’re about to find out if anyone actually hooked up that night.
How many times did I have to drink?
Oh, Jen, no
There’s a lot of “Oh, Jen, no” this week, but this jacket is a CRIME. Who are you, the Crow?! Don’t worry, Jen. It can’t rain all the time.
Jack tells Joey, “I’m just a guy who… finds it really hard not to want to hold you, and touch you, and I didn’t really realize that until tonight when it was completely forbidden.” I’ll never let go, Jack.
This week in Obviously, Jack
At Joey’s house, Jack prepares to enter the room in his towel and says, “I’m coming out.” GEE WHAT COULD THAT MEAN.
2.11 “Sex, She Wrote”
We open with a good ol’ classroom scene in which the lecture given by our instructor (one Mr. Leery) sets the narrative table – it’s a total horror film move, and I love it. This week’s assignment is inspired by classic movie mysteries, so Abby sets out to solve a mystery of her own when Chris finds a curious note on the floor. TL;DR – someone had sex with someone and is feeling a little guilty about it. BUT WHO COULD IT BE.
I both love and despise Abby, and although she gets downright cartoon-villain-maniacal in this episode, I am quite a fan of the whole Cruel Intentions vibe she has with Chris this week. And to further prolong the mystery, it’s not immediately clear if anyone actually did hook up. Pacey is acting very awkward around Andie, which she chalks up to typical boy behavior, while Dawson and Jen and Joey and Jack are similarly fumbling around their respective lunch tables. It could be that there’s some nervousness over an intimate encounter, or maybe just general awkwardness over what *almost* happened.
Here’s what DID happen: Inspired by Jen and their late-night encounter, Dawson has rewritten his script so that his fictional self ends up having sex with her fictional self. Fictional Joey be damned. Jen seems a bit uncomfortable about it, which is a severe under-reaction to some dude creeping in your bedroom at night and making out with you while wishing you were someone else, and then going home and using his juvenile screenplay like some masturbatory fantasy diary. Ugh. As if. Oh, and Joey JUST NOW figured out that Dawson’s script is about their relationship.
Abby is, as Chris puts it, “Nancy Drew from Hell,” and her plan to get someone – or everyone – to crack is terrible but also maybe brilliant. Taking a cue from Dawson, Abby (rightly) believes that if she pretends to know something, then the facts will eventually reveal themselves based on the predictably sensitive and awkward behavior of the suspects. She’s also decided to have Chris film the whole thing as part of her class project (Chris only ever has a video camera in his hand, like, one time).
What follows is a whirlwind of antagonism: Chris gives Dawson’s revised screenplay to Joey; Abby gives Joey’s drawing of nude Jack to Dawson; Abby and Chris claim to have heard rumors about everyone boning everyone else, et al. Once the group has been sufficiently rattled, Abby and Chris get them all together for the big “denouement,” where Dawson and Joey get into a heated argument and both claim to have had sex with their respective… people? partners? whatever? … the previous evening. But Jen assures Joey that they both chickened out because clearly – judging by that overly-dramatic confrontation – Dawson and Joey are nowhere near over each other.
Jack admits that he did not sleep with Joey, and then the big (obvious) reveal comes: Pacey wrote the note. You can just see Andie’s heart shatter as she accuses him of being one of those guys that ditches a girl the day after they hook up. Meredith Monroe is SO GOOD on this show. I want to hug her and high-five her and be her best friend and remind her to take her pills.
Anyway, Abby’s effective crushing of Andie inspires Jen to drop this EPIC DISS – which is so great that I forgive her for wearing that damn jacket again:
And don’t worry about Pacey and Andie. As he admits in her car (in the ROMANTIC RAIN), he was only acting awkwardly and backing off because he’s terrified – he got an A on an important test and Andie is obviously making him a better person and he doesn’t know how to handle it:
Dawson asks Joey why she lied about sleeping with Jack, and she tells him it’s the same reason he lied about sleeping with Jen – that intangible, jealousy-driven thing that can’t really be described. They both admit to being happy that neither of them lost their virginity and decide to work on being friends again before sharing a walk home in the rain. I should probably think this is adorable, but really I want to strangle both of these idiots.
How many times did I have to drink?
15? Not enough to puke on a fence, that’s for sure.
What. Is. This.
Most likely dialogue
“I’ll let you touch me in bad places.” Gross, Abby.
Least likely dialogue
Chris: “It’s been so long since my own first venture into the jungles of love.”
Best pop culture reference
Abby goes old school: “I just had the pleasure of reading Dawson’s rewrites and I noticed some significant alterations. Mainly, one of the kinkiest sex scenes since Mickey Rourke cracked open the refrigerator in 9 1/2 weeks.”
This week in Obviously, Jack
He tells Jen he couldn’t sleep with Joey because he couldn’t get an erection, and while she sweetly jokes about how these things never want to cooperate with her during sexual encounters, either, I feel like we are getting painfully close to Jack’s truth.
If Jack didn’t get a boner at Joey’s house, then what was that moment after he sensually described his first time all about? Joey looks down at his crotch area, goes all wide-eyed and embarrassed, and then he apologizes profusely. Are we to understand that Joey was shocked by the absence of a boner? I am so confused.
That’s all for this week! I have a couple of questions for Meredith: 1. Did Jack have a boner in that scene or what? 2. Do you still like Abby? I kind of still love her even though she’s terrible!
Check back here next week as Meredith covers “Unchartered Waters” and “His Leading Lady”!
About the Contributor:
Britt Hayes is a writer and sensible sweater enthusiast living in Austin, Texas. She loves movies, watches too much television, and her diet consists mostly of fruit snacks and revenge.