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Title: Gilmore Girls S6.E03 “The UnGraduate”
Gilmore Girls S6.E04 “Always a Godmother, Never a God”
Released: 2005
Series:  Gilmore Girls

Drinks Taken: 11
Cups of Coffee: 1

Last week, on Gilmore Girls

Hi, gang!  I am SO glad not to have Meredith around this week.  She’s always hogging the spotlight!  (By “hogging the spotlight,” I mean editing, posting, and assembling my rambly Word doc into something digestible for reading on the interwebs.)  Seriously, though, I’m excited to talk all things Gilmore, so let’s get to it!

First, let’s remember why we drink (not, like, to hide the pain.  I mean the game rules):

The Gilmore Girls Drinking Game Rules

Drink once every time:

Lorelai or Rory drinks coffee.
Emily gets flustered by Lorelai’s bizarre sense of humor.
Sookie is controlling about food.
Paris is controlling about anything.
Michel snubs a customer.
Luke is crotchety.
Taylor has an absurd scheme for Stars Hollow.
The girls acquire massive amounts of food and then fail to take even one bite.

Drink twice every time:

Kirk has a new job.
You see a town troubadour.
Emily gets a new maid. 

On to the episodes!

6.3 “The UnGraduate”

Lorelai starts by making breakfast for herself. You know, the usual: twenty Pop Tarts, three dozen donuts, four bags of bagels, and a tray full of coffee. Wait, what? Oh, yeah. Lorelai’s house is getting remodeled, and that buffet is for the construction crew. That includes TJ. Yes, poor TJ thinks he’s the contractor. Lorelai doesn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise, even though Luke curmudgeons out about it. She takes her leave of him to go shower at Babette’s because, well, there was an incident. Perhaps it’s better if Lorelai herself explains it:

(Not helping your case with Luke, TJ…)

Meanwhile, House of Lies is not the only show where you can find politics, power, and intrigue… Emily is dealing with a serious case of the passy-aggressies down at the DAR, after her nemesis, Constance Betterton, left a note critiquing the foliage near the door. Since Rory has begun working at the DAR, she agrees to be her mole, and let Emily know whenever Constance and her cronies come sniffing around.

Meanwhile…PARIS! Oh, Paris. How I’ve missed you. She’s at the Dragonfly for lunch with Lorelai, and engaging in some light to moderate obsessing over the proper pajamas to wear when in the beginning stages of a new “sleepover relationship.” I can’t say these aren’t thoughts I’ve had. I mean, who amongst us hasn’t been nearly strangled by a fail at lingerie? Lorelai finally extricates herself from Paris’ company, and Paris takes her leave, much to the relief of Sookie and Michel, who cannot STAND Paris’ company.

While they confer, Sookie begins to try to pin Lorelai down on wedding plans, which she eludes. Great, Sookie has to give it to Michel, who was sure that the wedding would never happen. Lorelai asks them BOTH to drop it. This doesn’t seem good…

Back in DAR land, Rory is dealing with the whitest of white problems: a debatable application to become a Daughter of the American Revolution. Emily stops by, and Rory gossips about a story she learned, where Constance stumbled, dropped her purse, and an Altoid box full of pills fell out, which they assume are of a nefarious nature. While Emily and Rory are eating this up, all I can think is “They’re rejoicing in the fact that an old woman fell, and her medication went everywhere!”

Lane and the rest of Hep Alien are finishing up their tour, thanks to that cool dude, Pastor Tim. Also, I am PRO Zack’s beard:

Turns out, the tour went well! Lane secretly hoarded the funds from the tour, and they now have a $9,000.00 nest egg to record an album! Everything’s coming up Hep Alien!

Rory is volunteering at an old folks’ home, deejaying their old timey dance party. That basically sounds like my dream job, especially after they announce that there is a punch and cake break. Logan has returned just in time for the fun, and they make plans to (ahem) catch up after dancing.

Their post-catch up talk turns to the topic of school starting again. Logan has learned a thing or two since the boat incident, though, and knows that Rory isn’t as A-OK with the DAR as she pretends to be, and he gets self-conscious discussing Yale despite her insistence that she’s fine with it.

Lorelai has to meet some guests at midnight, so Luke agrees to watch Paul Anka, While under his care, Paul Anka gets into some baking chocolate, and Luke has to rush him to the vet. When they wake up in the morning, Luke explains the incident to Lorelai, who finally admits why she doesn’t want to talk about the wedding yet: she doesn’t want to plan anything without Rory. Awwww…

How many times do I have to drink? 

6

How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?

Just one, but she also SERVES a trayful.

Flirtation quota

Well, Lorelai tells Luke that he’s the only one that gets to see her “goods” after the seeing her naked incident, and Rory and Logan are PUH-LENTY flirty upon their reunion, and pretty handsy too!

Best/most dated pop culture reference

Paris, upon warning Rory that she will likely get stuck with a serial killer for a roommate, says “If I end up on the front page of the Hartford Courier BTKed to death, you’ll know why.”

Sookie’s best dish of the episode

I mean, this s’mores wedding cake, can you EVEN?! Sookie can’t either!

Lorelai’s craziest outfit

Oh, Lorelai. You gambled and lost on this ca-razy vest with playing card clubs on it:

Outfit MVP

You know what? I’m giving it to Emily. Maybe it’s just been winter for so long that I’m looking for new and different uses of wool, but this is a beautiful suit:

Kirk insanity

No Kirk, sadly, but TJ picks up the slack with a craftsman versus contractor discussion in which he figures that he’s basically like Jesus. Yeah, TJ… Basically.

Michel madness

Michel refuses to be out front when Paris is there, and hums the Wicked Witch of the West theme upon her return. Well done, Michel!

Best Gilmore Gal witticism

Actually, I’m giving it to Michel here, too, this week. When Paris unexpectedly returns to the Inn, he yells “She’s back! Maybe she forgot her phone…or her spellbook.”

Random observation

In a conversation designed to convince Rory to return to Yale, Paris tells her that the boat story made the blogosphere. She also tells Rory that she can even google “Rory Gilmore sex boat.” For your benefit, I happened to have googled this myself, and you’ll be relieved and/or disappointed to learn that it mostly points to GG fan blogs, and nothing actually salacious. Although, I have half a mind to now start a band called Rory Gilmore and the Sex Boats.

6.4 “Always a Godmother, Never a God”

Let me just say that Hoarders is one of my favorite reality shows. It really makes you feel together about your own house, as well as putting into perspective that pile of six magazines on the coffee table that you call a “mess.” That being said, Lorelai has a LOT of video tapes. Luke calls her on it, and while defending her choice to keep Riding the Bus With My Sister (a Rosie O’Donnell classic), she confesses that she’s saving it to watch with Rory.

Rory is now onto candystriping for her community service. She’s beginning to chafe a little in the land of Emily, though. Emily has sent the newest maid (drink!) to switch her wardrobe out from summer to autumn clothes. I think this sounds fun, but what do I know? While her clothes are being kidnapped, Rory gets a call from Emily, who is stuck in Helsinki and needs Rory to run a DAR mixer for her. Rory agrees to run it for her, albeit somewhat reluctantly. I think the DAR is losing its new car smell to Rory!

Sookie and Jackson are having it out in the kitchen, where he has told her that after succumbing to family pressure, their kids are having a christening. Sookie actually doesn’t super care about this part, but is horrified at the idea of having to host Jackson’s whole family. Lorelai tells them that they can all stay at the Inn and softens the situation somewhat. Sookie has one more favor, though: she wants Lorelai to be Martha’s godmother! Lorelai agrees in that “Um, weird… But, fun!” way, and then Sookie tells her that Rory will be Davey’s godmother. Lorelai harrumphs somewhat, but she is not so subtly showing signs of being ready to reconcile, so she agrees to the arrangement. As an aside, look how exhausted Sookie gets while doing math:

Sookie: “Uh… 8 and 4… and that’s 2… and 10 over.”

Lorelai even gets brave enough to call Rory’s phone to try to start talking again. Upon calling it, though, she gets a “You have reached a number that has been disconnected” message. Say what? She doesn’t even know her own kid’s number?

Meanwhile, in the Hep Alien apartment, Lane comes home to find that the boys broke into her underwear drawer (is nothing private?) and took the $9,000 in tour money and bought recording equipment. Fun fact, Lane: the computer and equipment that they got would EASILY be over twice that, so they did get an incredible deal. Lane, however, channels Mrs. Kim when she finds out:

Baptism day finally is upon us! Lorelai and Rory are…monosyllabic at first, but then it dawns on Lorelai: Sookie had Rory’s number! How else could she have called her to come to the baptism? She takes Rory outside (in the middle of the baptism! Rude!) to chat, and things go hostile again. What happened to those girls that could banter their way through any problem?

At the after party, Rory offers to give Lorelai her new number, and Lorelai tells her to never mind! She then goes home, and watches Riding the Bus With My Sister alone. Those Gilmores really know how to dig in when they’re being stubborn, don’t they?

How many times do I have to drink?

5

How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?

Rory tries to get a cup of coffee at the mixer, but GASP! They are out! A true Gilmore emergency.

Flirtation quota

Logan and Rory have a few nice moments where he confides that his dad has told him that it’s time for him to start attending shareholder meetings and such, so they take an impromptu (and, sadly, off camera) trip to New York. Luke and Lorelai banter in the beginning, and he lovingly accuses her of being a hoarder. Squee all around!

Best/most dated pop culture reference

Well, I mean, there’s a whole scene about videotapes and the contents of them. It’s a treasure trove of pop culture!

Sookie’s best dish of the episode

Sookie copes with the baptism as only Sookie can: She makes an array of late summer salads!

Lorelai’s craziest outfit

I feel bad because she already looks so down, but this outfit isn’t helping things either, Lorelai…

Outfit MVP

I mean, Lorelai… Why can’t it be like this always?

Kirk insanity

Kirk maintains that there are “Davey” and “Martha” sides to the baptism, like a wedding. FYI, he’s Team Davey.

Michel madness

Michel goes full on French snob when Jackson’s, erm, blue collar family comes to the Inn. At one point, he accuses Jackson’s aunt of pirating their DVDs!

Best Gilmore Gal witticism

This entire monologue about the Gilmores and religion takes the cake:

Random observation:

I was disappointed in Lorelai for being SO stubborn when Rory tried to put out the olive branch by offering her new number. THIS is how people get alienated from their parents for sixteen years, Lorelai.


So that’s it for this week! Thanks for joining me, and Meredith will be back next Wednesday morning to cover “We’ve Got Magic To Do” and “Welcome to the Dollhouse.”

And I leave you with a question, dear FYA readers: who do you think’s being more stubborn here: Rory or Lorelai? 


About the Contributor:

This post was written by Mandy Jeronimus.

This post was written by a guest writer or former contributor for Forever Young Adult.