About:
Previously: Lily is finally convinced that Julian is a murderous douchecanoe, Caroline is now the supernatural surrogate to Alaric and Jo’s unborn twins thanks to the Gemini Coven, Enzo pines for Lily (ew), and Caroline and Matt set free the Human Blood Farm that Julian has built for himself in the Mystic Grill.
What Went Down
Mary Louise and Nora are celebrating their 133rd anniversary (I mean, I adore my husband but did anyone else wince at that number?), and Mary Louise decides to propose to Nora. Aww. Julian throws them a party full of compelled citizens, which is kind of sweet but also extremely creepy.
Lily is now firmly on Team Julian Must Die, and so she and her sons devise a plan: Valerie will tell Nora, Mary Louise, and Beau what Julian did to her, and one of them will agree to unspell the link between Lily and Julian; meanwhile the Brothers Salvatore will keep Julian secured until the spell is done, and then they will rip his heart out. Everybody wins!
Except nothing EVER goes according to plan in Mystic Falls. Mary Louise disappoints all of us by not believing Valerie, and she frees Julian while also snapping the necks of Valerie and Damon.
Caroline finally tells Stefan about her supernatural pregnancy and he’s understandably…stunned. He leaves her with promises of talking later, and the talk they do end up having (courtesy of Lily’s excellent maternal advice) would melt the coldest of hearts. Points to Team Steroline!
Enzo, fearing the worst for Lily as she tries to take down Julian, says his goodbyes to her. It would’ve been romantic and sweet if it wasn’t so Oedipal. There’s really nothing for him in Mystic Falls (as Matt Donovan so kindly pointed out before tossing him in the back of his new Murder Van), and so our Enzo remains the sad lone wolf.
Julian ties up Valerie and Damon, telling Lily that she has to choose her new family OR her old one. Lily is desperate to put things right with Damon, while also wanting to free herself and her adopted family of Julian’s lies and manipulations…so she kills herself instead in order to kill him. Except that Julian already had their link broken by Mary Louise. He actually seemed truly devastated by her death. It’s nice to have a villain with the smallest sliver of humanity.
Holy CRAP
- The ring that Mary Louise gave to Nora! Sure, it belonged to some princess whose head Julian ripped off, but DAMN. (Personally, I liked the original, smaller ring better.)
- Those sneaky flash forwards…! We’re no closer to finding out who Damon’s future captor is.
- Was anyone else physically STUNNED at Damon’s utter lack of f*cks to give at his dying mother’s bedside? HARSH.
- On a scale of 1-Adele’s new album, how full of feelings were you when you realized that Beau used to be an opera singer?
Vamp of the Week: Stefan Salvatore
Stefan, your communiction skills were on POINT this week. I loved the heart-to-heart you had with your mom, as well as the amazing, supportive phonecall you had with Caroline about her pregnancy. Now you have to prepare yourself for helping Damon drink his way through the guilt he’ll eventually feel at telling his dying mother to suck it.
Hero Hair/Nefarious Grin
Hero Hair: Your hair can’t get more heroic when you literally fall on your own sword to save a son who wants nothing to do with you.
Nefarious Grin: I wanted to give this award to Mary Louise, but since it’s not for sheer stupidity it has to go to Julian. What sort of man demands that a woman make a choice between her children? One that will hopefully be dead soon, that’s who.
Sound Bites
Stefan: “Have any advice?”
Lily: “Tell her you love her. Never forget what she must be going through. And then, one day, be prepared for her to sacrifice everything for them. Not that I’m one to give advice.” You’re a little late to the maternal game, Lily, but you’re getting it now I think.
Caroline: “I didn’t believe it either, but then I ate 9 ice cream sundaes from noon to 3:00, and none of my clothes fit, and then there was that whole part with the doctor and the ultrasound so…yeah.” Caroline Forbes is going to have the CUTEST maternity clothes, guys.
Stefan: “I’m not going anywhere because I love you.” DAMMIT FLASH FORWARDS. You have sucked all of the joy out of this relationship for me. #senseofimpendingdoom
Burning Questions
- Where the hell was Bonnie? She might have been able to talk sense into Damon.
- Where has Matt rounded up his new Murder Posse? Craigslist? And what are they going to do with Enzo?
- Will The Heretics stay in Mystic Falls now that Lily is gone? Will her death and Mary Louise’s betrayal tear them apart?
- Will Caroline Forbes be launching her own Maternity Line via Etsy?
Well DAMN. I don’t know what else to say except that I hope our show has a chance to wrap up in the way the writers want; it’s been moved to Friday nights, and that’s usually a death-knock for TV. I thought we would get one more season, especially because of the flash-forwards, but I’d rather it go out on a high note than Ian Somerhalder have to try and look eighteen for the next five years. What do you all think is in store for the future of our beloved show? Convo with me in the comments!
About the Contributor:
Amanda Reid is an East Coast girl living in California who will never stop missing a true autumn. She’s a bookseller who specializes in kid and teen lit, and she bakes a damn fine pie.
