Previously: Lily died by trying to kill Julian, stabbing herself, thinking they were still tethered together, Damon has no kind words for his dying mother (HARSH), Valerie tells everyone the truth about Julian; Nora believes her, Mary Louise doesn’t, and so their relationship is on the rocks.
What Went Down
Damon and Stefan bury their mother, along with Valerie and Nora. Stefan’s hopes of Damon having some kind words of forgiveness for their dead mother are soon dashed upon the rocks of reality. Damon Salvatore – 1, F*cks to Give – 0.
Damon (who’s being a bit more dickish than usual) and Stefan search for Julian, managing to incorporate a Santa pub crawl and the greatest holiday-themed beer stein I’ve ever seen. Damon just wants to get his drink on. Stefan is not amused.
Back home, Bonnie is helping Caroline with the Toys for Tots event, and NORA shows up offering a helping hand. She’s clearly trying to move forward in her Mary Louise-less life; she even enrolled in college. You go, Nora! Bonnie decides to offer her an olive branch, mostly because she needs Nora’s help in locating Julian, but Nora is more than happy to oblige.
The Brothers Salvatore find a pub full of dead, bloodied Santas. Bingo! Except that Julian rolls deep, bringing four vamp minions with him. Damon firebombs their way into an escape, and he’s so over trying to kill Julian. He just doesn’t have the same emotional investment that Stefan has, and he doesn’t see any point in either one of them risking their lives. (If Elena was there she would seriously disapprove, Damon. SERIOUSLY.) Damon heads home and Stefan has no choice but to follow.
Did I mention that Caroline Forbes is taking birthing classes? She’s just as ridiculously over-prepared as you’d imagine. She’s also suffering from some serious vampire-mommy cravings, and was THIS close to going full ripper on some gossipy cow at birthing class. She’s feeling totally lost. If only someone had written a book on how to be a vampire surrogate to a pair of supernatural witch babies! Caroline likes to be INFORMED. She seeks solace at her mom’s grave, and realizes it’s her first Christmas without her. I miss your mom too, Caroline.
Valerie is DONE with Mary Louise calling her a liar and with Julian still having the nerve to be alive. She and Stefan decide to kidnap Mary Louise in order to lure Julian back to Mystic Falls. As you can imagine, this doesn’t go over well with Nora, even if Mary Louise was an ungracious bitch to her only hours before. She assumes (incorrectly) that her new pal Bonnie is in on this plan, and zaps her into unconsciousness. Crazy Julian arrives at Chez Salvatore, special vampire soul-sucking sword in hand, and manages to “kill” Damon. Aaaand then Nora shows up and “kills” Stefan. DAMN, HERETICS!
Holy CRAP
- BOTH Salvatore Brothers being trapped in their own personal hells??
- Caroline nearly ripping the head off that nosy, spiteful woman at birthing class.
- I think I might be starting to like Nora, you guys. (Did you know that she’s played by Pansy Parkinson from House Slytherin? IT’S TRUE.)
- The flash forward didn’t surprise me but I’m still allowed to mourn the eventual end for #Steroline.
Vamp Witch of the Week: Bonnie Bennett
Bonnie’s attempt at helping Nora move on from Mary Louise was pretty damn great, as was when she told Nora that she doesn’t NEED anyone to tell her that she’s pretty. (Bonnie Bennett is WELL aware of what a babe she is, thanks very much.) Hopefully this little Mary Louise-kidnapping snafu won’t get in the way of a potentially great friendship between these two.
Hero Hair/Nefarious Grin
Hero Hair: Stefan was using extra mousse in his hair this week, y’all. He had so many plates in the air: trying to get Damon to forgive their dead mother, trying to avenge their mother’s (and his unborn child’s) death, AND trying to be there for his supernaturally-surrogate pregnant girlfriend. He would also be trying to figure out a way to bring Damon’s soul out of the sword, except that his soul is also now trapped. He’s going to need ALL the hair product to get himself and his brother out of this pickle.
Nefarious Grin: I mean, SURE. I could give this award to Julian every week that he’s onscreen but that would get old really fast. Besides, Mary Louise is pretty terrible for accusing Valerie of lying, and she’s also pretty terrible for being so possessive over Nora, not to mention petty and cruel.
Sound Bites
Valerie: “It’s just us. Beau couldn’t bring himself to say goodbye.”
Damon: “I’m sure he just couldn’t find the right words to say.” Your cheap shots and mean jokes aren’t fooling anyone, Damon.
Bonnie: ‘Hey, Stefan! Did I mention Bonnie saw me mix a blood bag with a jar of mayonnaise at 2 o’clock in the morning?’
Caroline: “Okay, one, that was marshmallow fluff. And two, I’m feeding for three now, so I get cravings.” I see pickles dipped in blood in Caroline’s future.
Caroline: “Hi, mom. I just realized that this is going to be my first Christmas without you…and I have no idea what I’m doing and all I want to do is just sit on our kitchen counter while you burn our dinner and ask you a million questions. God, I miss you.” All the hugs and hot cocoa for Caroline Forbes.
Burning Questions
- How long before Alaric figures out that there’s no way in seven hells Caroline is going to let his drunk ass raise those babies alone?
- If Damon’s personal hell is being on a Civil War battlefield, what is Stefan’s?
- Is Beau’s missing voice going to turn out to be some sort of key to getting the boys’ souls back? (I really want to believe that his character has a point, even if it’s one as terrible as being a literal MacGuffin.)
- How long until Caroline loses her cool and kills an entire staff of a Motherhood store?
- Where are Enzo and Matt?? I mean, we know that Enzo is with Matt since he shoved him into his new Murder Van, but still.
- Holiday Pub Crawl with Damon Salvatore – best Christmas live experience ever?
So long until January, friends! Until then I hope your holiday season is exactly what you want it to be. I shall be drinking mulled wine, reading Carry On, and trying to keep my cats from destroying our Christmas tree. Oh, and let’s convo in the comments!
About the Contributor:
Amanda Reid is an East Coast girl living in California who will never stop missing a true autumn. She’s a bookseller who specializes in kid and teen lit, and she bakes a damn fine pie.
