Title: The Vampire Diaries S5.E18 “Resident Evil”
Released: 2014

Previously: Caroline and Stefan are the Best Besties that ever did Bestie, Damon and Elena have the hottest Parent-Teacher conference in the history of education yet still end up on the Express Train to FriendsVille, the Travelers simultaneously combust to make room for their head honcho Marcos to cross over from The Other Side, and Jeremy’s hair continues to be on the struggle.

So now that Elena has made the worst possible life decision by ending her EPICALLY STEAMY RELATIONSHIP with Damon, how is that playing out? Well, it turns out that she’s been having dreams/visions of what a perfect life with Stefan would be like. Except that weirdly, Stefan is having these visions too. Oh, to be a doppelganger with all of it’s inherent zaniness!

Because nothing says domestic bliss like gingham curtains.

Sidebar – How has neither Elena NOR Caroline flunked out of college at this point? Please Whitmore, kick them both out and stop trying to make this college plotline A Thing.

Damon’s bought himself a fancypants new pool table since he needs to fill the gaps in his new Elena-free life, and what better pool buddy than Enzo? (Seriously, can we please get Alaric back from the dead and just have these three split off into their own epic spinoff show that involves lots of ladies, booze and shenanigans?) Enzo is poking around in Damon’s Elena-shaped wound and it’s kind of mean yet still hilarious. Damon dodges Elena’s call but Enzo takes Caroline’s and so now everyone knows about Stefan and Elena’s Pleasantville-like visions of domestic bliss. Also, Enzo is relentlessly charming and may steal the title of No. 1 Panty-Melter from Damon Salvatore.

Meanwhile at Chez Lockwood, Liv (or New Witch as I call her in my head) tests Matt, Jeremy and Tyler with the Magic Knife to make sure they’re not carrying any passengers. Turns out that the travelers only really stop to take over towns, and they do this by putting passengers into all of the residents. Awesome. So who better to possess than Mystic Falls’ very own Sheriff? Poor Liz. She really doesn’t have any kind of self-defense skills for someone trained in law enforcement.

Also there’s some contrived drama with Bonnie and Jeremy with him not being able to tell her why Liv is there and what’s happening with the Travelers? I really don’t care. Bonnie’s Grams shows up on The Other Side to tell her that something is very much amiss; the witches believe that the Travelers bombarded her with dead souls passing through so that SOMEONE could pass back. Ding ding ding, give Grams the winning prize!

Matt is at the Sheriff’s office checking up on her since she missed her Mother-Daughter lunch date with Caroline and that gets him stabbed in the neck with a letter-opener. CRIKEY! His ghost passes through Bonnie to The Other Side, which is a HOT MESS. And what person would you want to see LESS than Kol, the Sociopathic Original! I really do believe he existed purely to make Klaus seem more sympathetic. He tells Matt that it’s unravelling and that if he doesn’t get back to his body and try and stop it from happening beings worse than Kol (is that possible?) will be unleashed. Matt Donovan being Matt Donovan, of course, wants to look for his sister. When he finds Vicki he tries to pull her through but can’t and she gets sucked up into a horrifically scary void. EEP. Why do the writers have to make Matt Donovan suffer so??

Caroline and Elena have rolled up to Chez Salvatore. Awkwardness and tension ensue. Enzo and Caroline retire to another room to give Elena and Damon a chance to talk (and themselves a chance to eavesdrop, heh). Of course Elena wants to be friends. She’s hopelessly naive that way. Meanwhile I’m completely betraying Klaus by now shipping Caroline and Enzo as they chat about his long lost love, Maggie. Caroline brings up the point of her being SUPER OLD now so why bother, and Enzo confesses that he just wants to thank her for her kindness to him while he was imprisoned. YOU GUYS. *faints*

Damon and Elena talk about her visions and it’s kind of killing him to do so. He’s still convinced that Elena and Stefan are destined to be together and that only Stefan can truly make Elena happy and it’s AWFUL to watch. At least he’s drinking heavily during this conversation. Keep it flowing, Damon.

They’re expecting Liv to show up at Chez Salvatore, but her WonderTwin Luke does instead. He drops knowledge about Traveler Lore and why witches have always sought to keep them as powerless as possible by keeping them on the move and unsettled. He tells them that Marcos has made it through and I can FEEL the collective eyeroll. Like, REALLY, another powerful ancient dude with an axe to grind? PERFECT. Turns out that Marcos is controlling the visions; he needs the doppelgangers together because he needs their blood.

Tyler goes looking for the Sheriff and Matt and is instantly suspicious when he finds her without Matt. He trips her up by telling Possessed Liz that his (dead) mom says “Hi!”, and she’s all, “Give her my best!” So Tyler stabs her with the Magic Knife, releasing the Passenger, only to get snuck up on by…someone? Oh dear.

Damon is on the porch, drinking as advised by yours truly, and Elena comes out to chat. She tells him that the visions will stop but he’s not really encouraged because he knows that they’re over. Elena – he doesn’t want to be your friend, girl. Just let him be. She slips into a vision that’s ridiculously happy with domestic bliss and sees an address on a piece of mail. She wakes up and knows where to find Marcos.

Viewers, meet Marcos, Marcos, viewers. *purrrrr*

Damon and Enzo go to see Marcos and he’s kind of hot, you guys. Not that I would ever doubt The CW’s ability to cast ridiculously good-looking people on their shows. Marcos breaks it down like this: the doppelganger “fated love” legend has been misinterpreted for centuries. They need to search for each other and come together purely for the purpose of being a magical blood supply for the Travelers. Awesome. Marcos takes a little walk with Damon and gives him the whole history of his people. Damon is bored. They’re surrounded by townsfolk carrying Passengers and start chanting, which stops the visions. This is good but…Travelers never do anyone any favors for free so we’ll see where this is going.

So what you’re saying is…my brother and Elena AREN’T fated to be together? It’s just pure rejection? SUPER.

Stefan and Elena share a moment together when the visions end and it’s kind of perfect. No, they never had the Perfect Life that was in the visions but what they shared was real, the good and the bad. They tell each other that they’ll always love one another and Elena wonders out loud if she’ll ever be able to have this with Damon. (TOO SOON, ELENA.) Stefan tells her that you can be friends with someone OR in love with them, but not both. Sadly, I doubt she’s really hearing it.

Jeremy and Bonnie are holding vigil over Matt’s body until he returns, and they have the Trust Talk. It’s kind of nice I guess? But as much as I don’t begrudge an actor’s paying gig, these two characters should have stayed dead. Matt wakes up and remembers Vicki but I’m not sure if he remembers Kol or the dismantling of The Other Side.

Damon finds Elena when he returns and she is really trying to Be Friends with him and he finally tells her that he can’t do it. She tells him that what they had was messy and complicated but it was real and she still needs him in her life and he’s not having any of it and it’s breaking him apart and SERIOUSLY ELENA, JUST BACK OFF ALREADY.

Our final scene (great job directing, Paul Wesley!) has Caroline healing her mom and talking to Tyler on the phone, thanking him. Except Tyler is with Marcos, and has a passenger, and gives Marcos the Magical Knife which Marcos then destroys. CRAP.

Moments of Hilarity:

“Does your mysteriously missing girlfriend know how insufferable you are?” – Damon to Enzo

“Dude, you have a magic ring that brings you back from the dead. Quit bitching.” – Jeremy to Matt

“Can’t we just be friends and do friendly things?” – Clueless Elena to Damon

“Liv has a twin? Is it possible for there just to be ONE of someone around here?” – Damon

“Perfect. A dead old guy with a mysterious evil plan. I’ll take that drink now.” – Elena

“I’m going to staple your tongue to your chin.” Damon to Enzo

Moments of Heart-Swelling:

“Seventy years of captivity and hers was the face I clung to. I don’t want to date her, Caroline. I want to thank her.” – Enzo

“What are you doing out here?” – Elena
“Oh you know, looking at the stars, listening to the universe laugh at me.” – Damon

“The life we had, that was amazing too…we fell in love on our own… I’ll always love you, Elena.” – Stefan
“I’ll always love you too.” – Elena

“You need to know. I saw a perfect life…but it’s not real. You and I are messy and complicated but we’re real.” – Elena
“But we’re really bad for each other. Did you forget that part?” – Damon

Moments of Panty-Melting:

“Not bloody likely.” – Enzo

Let’s dish! What did y’all think of Marcos? Did you gag a little bit at Stefan and Elena’s visions? Are you TOTALLY on Team Enzo at this point? Anyone worried about Caroline now that Tyler is a host?

About the Contributor:

Amanda Reid is an East Coast girl living in California who will never stop missing a true autumn. She’s a bookseller who specializes in kid and teen lit, and she bakes a damn fine pie.


This post was written by a guest writer or former contributor for Forever Young Adult.