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TGITVD!!!! Hopefully my post of the official drinking game rules will make playing along to this week’s episode easier for y’all, and if it means just that much more drinking, well, it’s a good thing I’m recapping as I watch tonight, to help us all remember in case things get fuzzy.
We last left Elena in Klaus’s cold, handsome clutches, while Aunt Jenna is being turned into a vampire to be sacrificed for his ritual, and Damon is werebit! I can’t believe there are only TWO episodes left, you guys!!! I’m so nervous!
Caroline and Matt are in Tyler’s campout cave, and Tyler-wolf is gnashing his teeth at them! Then Matt shoots him! Tyler-wolf is hurt! But at least he’s not trying to kill them, I guess. They decide it’s a good time to run away. Damon and Katherine are looking at his werebite. She doesn’t want him to leave mad and go die, but Damon is not going to forgive her for betraying Aunt Jenna. He decides he’s going to offer himself as a replacement sacrifice, but Katherine tells him that Klaus won’t accept his offer, because of the werebite and all. Out in the woods, Jenna and Elena have a heart to heart and Jenna realizes she’s becoming a vampire. Dead Luka’s sister shows up and gives Jenna some of her blood to make the transition complete. Jenna likes. Then dead Luka’s sister traps them in separate circles of fire. At the candle emporium/casa of love, Jeremy (I think he deserves to be called Jeremy after all this. Jeremy, you have won your name, sir.) and Bonnie are searching the grimoires for information that will keep Elena from becoming a vampire, but they aren’t finding anything.
YHH, Stefan and Alaric are walking in the woods, and YHH explains how Klaus will be weakened and killable after he kills first the were, then the vampire, and then Elena, and THAT’S when they’ll kill HIM. Damon calls, with the bad news about Jenna being turned into a vampire so she can be sacrificed. Damon is feeling the affects of the werebite, but he’s holding it together. Back in their rings of fire, Jenna is feeling pretty well, considering. Dead Luka’s sister brings the weremilf to the party and adds a third fire ring. Elena tries to reason with her that as a witch, it’s her duty to maintain balance, blah blah blah, but dead Luka’s sister says her only duty is to Klaus, who shows up in time to hear her! And is kind of awesome! Drink! Come on, dead Luka’s sister! I mean, I know he’s petitioning for a seat at the Handsome Club table and all, but for reals?!!! This is end-of-the-world shizz! Caroline and Matt lock themselves inside the dead mayor’s house, and Matt confesses that he faked being compelled, and that Mommy Sheriff is on a mission to destroy all vampires. Caroline has a sad. Drink! But Matt has other, more important things on his mind. At the Salvatore’s, a persistent knocking brings Damon to the door, and it’s Daddy Sark! He is upset about Damon letting Klaus take Elena, but Damon does not want to be messed with, and is flippant and awesome. Drink! In the ring of fire, Klaus and the witch begin the ritual with the moonstone. Drink! Then Klaus takes the weremilf and rips her heart out! Jenna is grossed out.
George: No more campouts for you, Weremilf…
Bonnie and Jeremy are flirting over the Grimoires, when Alaric shows up at the candle emporium/casa of love to tell them that Klaus has Jenna. Bonnie wants to rush in and kill Klaus NOW, but Stefan won’t risk her killing herself, so he’s going to offer a replacement: himself! WHAT?!! NO. Just. No.
Klaus is squeezing blood from the weremilf’s heart over the fire, and Jenna and Elena have another heart to heart about responsibility. Aunt Jenna thinks she failed Elena and Jeremy as guardian, but Elena tells her no. She. Failed. Jenna. Then she tells Jenna that she can run fast as a vampire, and suggests she do just that when the time is right. Back at the dead mayor’s house, Caroline is still bummed out about the whole her-mom-wanting-to-kill-her thing, and Matt continues to act nonplussed. A sound outside brings their attention to a nekkid Tyler on the porch. Caroline goes to help him with the assistance of Matt’s jacket. YHH tells Stefan that he’s very honorable to be sacrificing himself, and Stefan asks YHH if HE’S trustworthy. YHH answers this query with a tale of how Klaus killed the rest of his and YHH’s family, and that he’s out for a bit of honorable revenge.
Daddy Sark joins Bonnie and Jeremy with the Gilbert journals to help find the spell to save Elena, and Alaric tells Damon that Stefan is on his way to offer himself as a sacrifice. Alaric doesn’t know about the werebite, yet, but he can tell something’s off with Damon, even though he’s being awesome. Drink! Elena pleads with Klaus to let Jenna go, but Stefan arrives before he gets a chance to think about it. Daddy Sark has found something of import in the Gilbert journals! Bonnie’s ancestor-witch Emily once cast a spell that caused a mother’s life force to bring her child back to life! Ah! Daddy Sark! I hope that doesn’t mean you’re gonna die! Damon is a ye of little faith, but Daddy Sark tells him to believe a little –he’s going to protect his baby girl. Matt and Caroline have a moment, but he confesses that he doesn’t know if he can get past her new supernatural life, what with his stresses about paying bills and stuff. Bonnie performs the life force spell on Daddy Sark, and then prepares to go kill Klaus with Damon. Jeremy wants to go, but Bonnie knocks him out with a kiss. Then she traps Alaric in the house, too! Oh thank goodness!
Alaric feels real shitty about being left behind while Jenna is possibly getting sacrificed, but Bonnie, let me just say that connoisseurs of handsomeness will forever be in your debt! It looks like Klaus is going to let Elena choose between Stefan and Jenna, but she won’t, so he stakes Stefan a little bit, and tells her, surprise! He actually has plans for Stefan later, anyway. Then Jenna tells Elena not to worry, and runs over to dead Luka’s sister and eats her some more! Drink! But then Klaus stabs her! OH NOES!!!!
Then while Elena watches and weeps, Klaus stakes Aunt Jenna. For real. Pour One Out I’m sorry, Aunt Jenna. I don’t even know what to say. For once I’m thankful for a commercial break so I can grieve a little. Stefan wakes up and sees that he’s too late as Jenna lays there dead. Elena, whispers to him to ‘KILL HIM’, meaning Klaus, and we see quiet fury in her eyes. Then she tells Klaus to go to hell as he starts to eat her. Klaus drops Elena’s body to the ground and stands in a power stupor for a second, and we wish that someone so hateable wasn’t so handsome. Then he starts turning into a were!
Just then Bonnie shows up chanting a spell, and Damon up and snaps that witch-bitch’s neck! YAHOO! Drink! Then he brings Elena to Stefan, but Stefan tells him to get Elena out of there. Bonnie is attacking Klaus with all of the power of the hundred dead witches Drink! and then YHH stalks up and punches through Klaus’s chest! But then Klaus tells YHH that the bodies of his family are safely hidden away, and that if he kills him, YHH will never get them back! YHH has a crises of conscience as Bonnie threatens and Stefan begs him to finish it, but he just tells them he’s sorry and runs off with his brother! YIKES!!!! This isn’t gonna end well, YHH. Daddy Sark is writing in a journal and dammit! Why’d I have to be right, Daddy Sark?
He tells Jeremy to take care of Elena, as Damon brings her body in. Alaric rushes to him and asks about Jenna and we are hit with a fresh wave of pain as he realizes what happened. Damon tells them he’s sorry. And nobody sees Daddy Sark slip outside, alone, where he looks in to see Elena take a breath, before falling to the ground. Pour One Out. And I have to pause the tv for a minute, because this isn’t even the last episode, and I can’t take this, you guys! Aunt Jenna, I know I’ve judged your parenting skills, but I really always liked you! And Daddy Sark!! As an actor, you make everything you’re in just that much better. The Handsome Club will always set a place in your honor. Big sigh. Okay.
Tyler is sleeping off his bullet to the side, but is awakened by Caroline. She tells him he should have never left Mystic Falls, and they joke around a little bit, before she tells him that Matt broke up with her. Then she cries a little. I know, Caroline. I feel like crying, too. Drink! Then they have a snuggle.
At the Salvatore’s, the brothers are in suits, dressed for the funerals of Jenna and Daddy Sark. Elena is getting dressed, but not doing so well. Jeremy comes in with a note for her from Daddy Sark, along with his ring of invincibility (Give it to Alaric, Elena! Give. It. To. Alaric.) The two of them have a heart to heart and share a sad. Drink!
Daddy Sark makes us cry as his voice tells Elena that he hopes she can live and have a better life than he was able to give her when he was alive as Elena places roses on their graves. And also, that he wants her to give his ring of invincibility to his one-day grandchild. Alaric puts a single rose on Jenna’s grave and I think I hear George sniffle next to me.
George: I’ve just got something in my eye. It’s lonely at the top, isn’t it, Mr. President?
Everyone walks away, leaving Stefan and Damon alone for the first time since Damon got werebit, and he tells Stefan that they better figure out a way to kill Klaus soon, because he doesn’t have much time. Stefan caresses his arm and they share a moment. Drink! Then he tells Damon he WILL find a cure for him, but Damon just tells him not to let Elena know about it, and walks away though the cemetery.
Oh. Man. Gut Punch. That was pretty major, considering we still have an episode left, with room for more killing. I have no idea who’s going to be left at the end of next week’s episode, do you? I think I need to go whimper in a corner now…
