About:
Stefan wakes up snuggled with Rebekah and an (Oh Shit! +1) look on his face. We get a Shirtless Salvatore *Drink!* for half a second before he dresses with vampire speed and makes to get his walk of shame out of the way. Klaus interrupts, and asks Rebekah for her dagger, so he can go take care of Kol Drogo. Rebekah remembers the million or so times that Klaus used such a dagger on her, and is not so interested in handing it over, so Klaus asks Stefan to help him with her.
Bonnie is blowing up 99 red balloons for Caroline in preparation for a — you guessed it! — Mystic Falls Decade Dance! Have they really not had a Decade Dance once already this season? Elena calls her to tell her about how she’s planning for Jeremy to kill Kol, while Jeremy and the New President of The Handsome Club are playing video games. *Drink!* Then Elena burns herself at the sink, because Daddy Mayor put Vervain in the water! (Oh Shit! +2) He’s also cancelled the Decade Dance! That’s the first intelligent thing he’s done since he took office. Kol attacks Bonnie in the hallway, (Oh Shit! +3) but she uses her new Expressionism to give him a migraine, and explodes some lockers for dramatic effect.
Stefan brings Damon a few drops of blood to keep his spirits up, and leaves his phone number and a pizza for Klaus, who’s going to babysit for him. Before he can leave to get the dagger from Rebekah though, Klaus spills the beans about Stefan’s walk of shame, and Damon is awesome *Drink!* with his reference to a “revenge sex handbook.”
Elena tells Stefan over the phone about her plan to kill Kol, and how he needs to dagger Rebekah, George: Define “dagger”… (or have Matt do it, since Stefan actually can’t) while Bonnie does something to Klaus, so the two of them won’t get all revenge-y once Kol’s a pile of ashes.
Elena sets the plan in motion by telling Kol she wants a truce, but when she asks where he wants to meet, he rings the doorbell. (Oh Shit! +4) He’s outside the house! He’s outside the house! Elena engages in a game of “Win, Lose or Draw” with Matt and Jeremy to get them to leave, and Kol agrees to let Jeremy go as soon as he invites him in.
Rebekah is looking through a retro thrift shop in her bedroom, trying to find something to wear so she can FINALLY go to a school dance! Stefan shows up, and tells her that the dance is cancelled. You can tell she’s really disappointed, because you guys! She just wants to go to ONE stupid dance in her whole life! But then Stefan suggests they go to the dance anyway, which is obviously a ruse to get her out of her house so Matt can steal her dagger.
Klaus and Damon exchange witty conversation about whose fault all of this is. *Drink!* Then Klaus asks Damon how he got Elena to overlook all of the bad things he’s done and love him, because HE wants Caroline to LOVE HIM. Aw, Klaus, the rest of us love you, even if you did kill Tyler’s mom. Damon is awesome *Drink!* when he tells Klaus that he (Klaus) does bad things without a purpose, he just does bad things to be a dick.
Kol is trying to teach Elena about classic cocktails, and I’ve never been more annoyed with her than when she calls Gin “old-people alcohol”. WHAT?!!! Kol is awesome *Drink!* when he asks her if she’s a “Mary Sue vampire”, and now I think they are making him too likable. Meanwhile, Matt is searching Rebekah’s house for the dagger, but it’s pretty obvious she would have taken it with her, so we know he won’t find it. So Kol tells Elena that Silas is a super big bad, and needs to stay buried, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Mayor Daddy has confiscated Bonnie’s keys and her phone, and is trying to hold a magic intervention. We all know how well those tend to go. I mean, all I’m sayin’ is that somebody’s gonna end up dead in a garden. Anyhoo, Bonnie breaks a lightbulb with her mind to prove how much she’s sick of this sudden influx of parental intervention. She wants to go kill an Original with Jeremy! And her dad can’t keep her there! But oh noes! Deadbeat (heh heh, get it?) Mom shows up, (Oh Shit! +5) and says that her daughter is DONE helping Elena Gilbert. This incites a bit of the Slayer rage in Jeremy, but Bonnie talks him down from staking her mom.
Kol asks Elena why she’s so ready to suddenly give up the race for the cure, and she tells him she’d do anything for her brother, but it doesn’t seem like he believes her. He leaves, telling her that he’ll think about her offer for a truce.
Rebekah is dressed as an 80s cowgirl, while Stefan is wearing a jacket from the set of Top Gun. He then proceeds to regale her with 80s pop culture movie synopses. George: Eh, if you want to get technical, Stefan, The Princess Bride was more about Westley coming back from being (mostly) dead for love, rather than killing an R.O.U.S. for love. And it IS R.O.U.S., not just “giant rat.” He then talks about how they are alike in their sappiness, and gives her a koala corsage! I had forgotten all about those! Kudos to you, VD, for remembering THAT little bit of nostalgia.
Jeremy comes home to find that Kol had already left, but when the doorbell rings, even though Jeremy thinks it’s Bonnie, we know it’s Kol! And he’s already been invited in! (Oh Shit! +6)
Bonnie argues with her parents about whether or not Expressionism is as bad as all that, and thinks she’s making some headway with her mom when she tells her about the race for the cure. Of course, that’s before her mom chloroforms her with some sort of dust. (Oh Shit! +7)
Klaus and Damon continue their tete-a-tete, and Klaus is awesome *Drink!* when he tries to instigate some brotherly competition by reminding Damon that Stefan fought and fought being compelled, all because he loved Elena, and why can’t Damon? But Damon is awesome *Drink!* right back when he shrugs that Elena knows that impulse control is not his strong suit. Kol ruins the moment when he calls Klaus and tells him that Elena and Jeremy are trying to kill him. (Oh Shit! +8) This makes Klaus mad, because nobody’s allowed to kill his siblings but him! He compels Damon to stay where he is, but he’s overcoming his compulsion! Or, it would appear — by the way he’s eyeing the water bottle — that perhaps Stefan slipped some Vervain into it to help him! Or something!
At the not-a-dance, Stefan tells Rebekah our favorite story of him and Lexi and their Bon Jovi concert times. And I have to say that I actually feel bad for Rebekah now.
Kol is hunting Elena throughout the house, and even though Elena shoots him, he’s stronger! He throws Jeremy down the stairs, (Oh Shit! +9) and stakes Elena to the wall! (Oh Shit! +10) Then he drags Jeremy away!
Stefan is ACTUALLY teaching Rebekah The Breakfast Club Slide, but it’s all just a ruse to get her to take off her shoes so Matt can get the dagger she’s concealed in her boot. Instead, she takes out the dagger and tells Stefan to take it to Klaus, because she DOES care. She wants to be human! She wants to have kids! She wants to fall in love! Or at least have someone stalk her outside her window with a boom box! George: I want to get wrinkly, and for my ass to sag…
Bonnie wakes up and gives her mom a migraine, and tells her that she can take her hundred dead witches and shove them, ’cause baby girl’s her own witch now. (Oh Shit! +11)
Elena is slowly inching her way off of the stake that has her nailed to the wall, just as Kol has strapped Jeremy to the kitchen island and is about to cut off his arms with a butcher knife! (Oh Shit! +12) He raises his arm for the chop, but Elena rushes him just in time, and Jeremy sprays him with the nozzle from the kitchen sink! And then stakes him with the Wickery Bridge stake! (Oh Shit! +13) Just as Kol catches on fire, they look up to the open door to see Klaus watching, with tears in his eyes. (Oh Shit! +14) Elena tries to tell Klaus that they had no choice, but Klaus is inconsolable! How many times does he have to tell you he’s the only one who gets to kill his siblings! So he’s going to burn the house down! (Oh Shit! +15) But then Bonnie gives him a migraine, and traps him in an invisible box in the living room! Klaus is super-pissed, and also good at miming, but he tells them he’s going to hunt them down and kill them all! (Oh Shit! +16) Klaus, you’ll never win over Caroline with that attitude!
Rebekah is crying over Kol, but Stefan tells her that now Kol can’t hurt anybody, and he wants to get back to the race for the cure — not just for Elena, but for her, too.
At the Salvatores, Damon shows up, and at least Elena is glad to see him. But then Stefan comes in with the Silas headstone, and tells them he didn’t dagger Rebekah. Damon takes this moment to share about Stefan’s horizontal time with Rebekah, and Elena is bothered, although, in my opinion, nobody on this show is one to talk. Stefan then makes a crack to Damon about using his sire bond to calm Elena down, and we have Salvatore Brothers Fisticuffs! *Drink!* (Oh Shit! +17) Just then, Jeremy screams and rips off his shirt Hulk-style to reveal all of his new tattoos! George: Aha! A plot point that REQUIRES shirtlessness! And now everyone can see them! (Oh Shit! +18)
