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Happy Friday, TVD lovers! Are you ready to relive last night’s episode in full color (well, print) detail? Let’s go!
First off, I need to note that in the “Previously On”, Stefan says, “the race for the cure has begun”!!!!! They SO totally read our recaps! (Oh Shit! +1)
Anyhoo, all of the vampires that Klaus has changed are waking up. Jeremy is all “no way jose’! I’m not gonna kill these vampires!” This is all juxtaposed with those vampires chasing Jeremy and Matt!!! (Oh Shit! +2) Klaus is using Matt as incentive to make Jeremy kill the vampires! Damon helps slow them down, by punching the heart out of one of them! (Oh Shit! +3) But then Matt is attacked! (Oh Shit! +4) But woohoo! Elena comes and saves him, and they run to the lake house, and are safe! The sun rises, and Elena is kind of P.O.’d at Damon for setting this whole thing up with Klaus, and HELLO!!! tells him that SHE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT THE CURE!!!!! There it is, folks. There it is.
Stefan and Rebekah exchange some witty repartee *Drink!* about being daggered and stuff, and we have a Shirtless Salvatore! *Drink!* Oh, and Rebekah has plans to take over Klaus’s race for the cure.
Professor Slim Shady and Bonnie are having a creepy moment in his office where he’s telling her how Expressionism is cool and shit. Then Mommy Sheriff busts in and arrests him for questioning! That’s right, Bonnie, you really don’t want to be hot for this teacher.
Jeremy and Damon go ahuntin’ at the old honky tonk, but there’s weird blood streaks everywhere! Somebody came and killed all of the new converts! (Oh Shit +5) Who could it be? Why, Kol Drogo, of course! Kol Drogo tells them that Silas is major bad news, and that they should cancel the race for the cure. Jeremy isn’t buying what he’s selling, though, so Kol Drogo decides he’s going to rip Jeremy’s arms off! (Oh Shit! +6) But then Damon sacrifices himself to give Jeremy time to escape!
Rebekah and Stefan are searching PSS’s office, and Rebekah finds some weed to loosen Stefan up.
Bonnie doesn’t think that PSS has done anything wrong, and convinces Mayor Dad and Mommy Sheriff to let her talk to him. Where he proceeds to confess that he did exactly what they’re accusing him of. What? (Oh Shit! +7)
Matt tells Elena that the old her would never have left Jeremy with Damon (everybody always comparing human Elena to vampire Elena!), but then Jeremy calls, updating her on the sitch. Elena goes to Klaus for help, and he is awesome *Drink!* when he calls Kol Drogo and tells him to leave Jeremy alone. However, as soon as Kol hangs up, we see that he’s compelling Damon to stab himself a little bit at a time! Oh noes! (Oh Shit! +8) He then compels Damon to KILL JEREMY!!! (Oh Shit! +9)
Elena and Jeremy are preparing to fight, but Jeremy is having a hard time dealing with his slayer urges! He doesn’t know how he’s going to do this! Oh Jeremy!
Rebekah and Stefan are totally stoned now, looking at weapons, oh, and throwing knives at each other. Rebekah tells him that the reason she wouldn’t compel him to forget Elena, is because she wants him to learn that love destroys you. So you should just have sex. Stefan is awesome when he *Drink!* tells her that the sex they had wasn’t good because of the not caring, but because of the fact that she’s crazy. Then somebody comes in, and they hide! And that person finds… a rock! Or something. And Rebekah interrupts and asks who he is, all threateningly like. (Oh Shit! +10)
Bonnie confronts PSS a little more, and he gives her his schpiel about how it doesn’t matter who he kills, because Silas will bring them back. Bonnie thinks he’s crazy until he’s all like, but what about your Grams? Wouldn’t you like her back? (Oh Shit! +11)
At the Bronze, Damon is looking for Jeremy, and when he sees him, his eyes go all veiny, but then Elena calls his name, and it pauses the compulsion! But then Damon follows Jeremy down some sort of tunnel or exhaust pipe! (Oh Shit! +12) And Elena just stares!
Jeremy is running down a tunnel that I think was featured on an episode of the original Star Trek series, and Damon is following him, telling him how he’s all compelled, so Jeremy better run! (Oh Shit! +13)
Rebekah is torturing the dude to tell her who he’s working for, but the dude bites his tongue out and stabs himself! They decide that maybe there is a third player in this race they are racing. (Oh Shit! +14)
Turns out, Bonnie isn’t so moved by PSS, and she starts giving him arthritis of the hand! And setting the floor around a chair on fire! Daddy Mayor comes in and tells PSS to DO something. He tells Bonnie she’s in control, and everything stops. Then PSS tells Daddy Mayor that without him, Bonnie is heading down a road. (Oh Shit! +15)
Elena calls Stefan to ask him to save Jeremy, but Rebekah answers. Stefan is conflicted.
Jeremy cuts his hand — why do they always cut the hand?!!! And brings Damon to him, but Damon tells him he can’t fight him in close quarters, and that he has to SHOOT DAMON IN THE HEART!!!!! Jeremy falters for a moment, but then pulls the trigger!!!!! (OH SHIT!!!! +16)
But he shot Damon in the head! Thank GOD! Damon is not impressed, because, deep down, he’s a super good guy.
Rebekah tells Kol Drogo that he should get outta town, and then threatens to dagger him to break Damon’s compulsion, but Kol asks her what their family has come to?!!! Then he makes to actually kill her! (Oh Shit! +17) But Klaus comes in and saves her! And he wants to make nice! But Rebekah essentially tells him to go bite himself.
Jeremy is hurt, in the woods, and Damon is hunting him, but Elena stops him! She tells him he’s strong enough to break the compulsion, not because Stefan did it, but because she loves him! But Damon says he can’t, and goes to Jeremy, and is all like “Do it. Kill me.” But Stefan rushes in and saves him by breaking his neck. (Oh Shit! +18) Then Stefan is all badass and like, “you’re welcome.” He doesn’t even remind Elena that he, like, totally broke his compulsion.
Damon wakes up to find that Stefan has bled him out so he’ll be too weak to hunt Jeremy. But then we find out that he plans to leave Damon locked up until he wins the race for the cure! Elena wants to see Damon, but Stefan tells her that’s not an option, on account of the sire bond. Elena wonders why he’s hanging out with Rebekah, since Rebekah tried to kill her. Stefan is awesome *Drink!* with his line about nobody being perfect. Then he tells her that he doesn’t think about her when she’s not there.
Daddy Mayor totally wants Bonnie to go to Magic Anonymous, but she doesn’t need any help. She can quit any time. (Oh Shit! +19)
Klaus comes by to visit Jeremy and Elena, and wants Jeremy to come with him, now that Kol Drogo is on the loose. They opt out of that option, and Klaus is like, well, if he comes to kill you? Call me.
Stefan busts in on Rebekah, and asks where the thing is, but she’s not telling. So he asks her where the sex is. And it’s RIGHT. THERE. (Oh Shit! +20)
Jeremy is super-bummed about what to do next, but Elena has an idea! If he kills an Original, their entire bloodline dies with them! So Jeremy just needs to KILL KOL DROGO!!! (Oh Shit! +21) George: As Scrooge McDuck say, work smarter, not harder.
OKAAAAYYYY. There was a LOT of shizz that hit the fan. Let’s talk!
