About:
Previously: Elena is living happily in denial of ever being in love with and losing Damon, Stefan sells Enzo up the crazy river to Tripp: Vampire Killer, Bonnie and Damon meet Kai, resident of the afterlife and Bonnie gets her mojo back.
WELL. That was certainly a lot of exposition to take in for one episode. They sure as hell burn through plot on this show. Let’s break it down, shall we?
Shady Kai explains that Bonnie’s magic is only one part of the three of them returning home. The other part is Kai using his family’s Ascendant (magic item) to amplify the power of the eclipse. Bonnie also finds Kai’s backpack which we later assume to be his Family Murder Supply Pack. For now Kai has them convinced that they are stuck in this day because it’s Damon’s personal hell and presses Damon to tell them WHY. (And we finally understand why Damon has felt the urge to make blueberry pancakes every morning for breakfast.)
We flashback to May 1994 when Damon returns home to Mystic Falls and to his dubious brother. Stefan has every right to be wary since Damon unleashed his Ripper side, left his best friend (Lexi!) on a rooftop to die, etc. Uncle Zack (who I sort of completely forgot existed) is running the Salvatore Boarding House and has a lovely lady friend named Gail who is pregnant and loves blueberry pancakes. Damon is willing to try to go sober and consume only animal blood, but that doesn’t last long and we soon see bodies littered all over Chez Salvatore, including his uncle’s pregnant girlfriend. Damon wails about how often Stefan has disappointed him and let him down and honestly guys, y’all just keep disappointing each other, that’s your thing, it’s what you DO. I remind myself that this is a flashback and my level of irritation lessens.
Meanwhile Elena and Stefan are looking for Sarah, who has crossed into Mystic Falls and now knows that Caroline and Elena are vampires. Elena manages to catch up with Stefan before he takes off again to start a new life and convinces him to let her tag along. She wants to observe his “plan” in action. Road trip!
Jeremy is puking at the hospital with Alaric and gets shut down by Dr. Jo when he requests a quick fix for his dehydration. “Oh, like the ones we give kids in the Third World?” Sorry, privileged American teen, you can sleep it off like everyone else. Dr. Jo clearly digs Alaric who is finding being around so much blood VERY difficult and so Dr. Jo feels blown off. Later, Alaric and Jeremy are sparring in the woods and Jeremy finally gets the verbal beatdown he’s really needed all along; EVERYONE has lost someone but we all have to figure out a way to keep GOING and not self-medicate with Peach Schnapps. I think Jeremy finally gets it.
Matt has gone all covert ops/undercover in order to infiltrate Tripp’s Vampire Murder Squad and so feigns ignorance about Jay’s death. Sure enough, Tripp decides to make him part of his inner circle, telling Matt how for years he thought his wife died in a car crash that was his fault, but when he returned to Mystic Falls, whaddayaknow, he remembers his wife being bloodletted by a vampire. Cut to Enzo being tied up in Tripp’s Vampire Holding Cell.
Bonnie figures out that they are actually living in Kai’s hell, not Damon’s. Kai is perfectly happy to recant his tales of murdering his entire family/coven and can’t wait to get back to finish the job! So now Bonnie (not Damon, obvs) is no longer onboard with getting the three of them back to the present day. Kai confesses to not having any actual powers but he DOES possess the ability to take powers from witches. He gives Bonnie a painful example and says he can either take all of her powers and KILL her, or she can be a good little witch and do as he asks.
Elena is ready to let Stefan go start another new life when she sees him provoking a guy at the bar and proceeds to let this guy kick seven colors of shit out of him. What a surprise, Stefan actually isn’t dealing with losing Damon very well AT ALL. Elena starts lecturing him about what a piece of crap Damon was and how he doesn’t deserve his grief when Stefan just LOSES it and so now Elena knows all about how she had Damon ERASED from her mind. I MAY have watched that scene more than thrice.
Sarah confronts Jeremy and wants answers about her family. She holds a polaroid of Zack and Gail that’s she’s found at Chez Salvatore and knows that Gail is her mom because she has another picture that was found on her dead mother. She survived Damon’s attack because of a c-section/incubation. Jeremy recognizes Zack and tells Sarah that he was her father. INTERESTING.
Elena confronts Alaric who confesses to not really knowing what the hell he’s doing, but he gives her the journal she wrote to herself in case she ever found out about the compulsion. Her journal advises her against having Alaric restore her memories of Damon. “I want you to redefine yourself in the absence of the one who defined you.” She reads it and decides to give it back to Alaric for safekeeping.
Stefan is working on Damon’s car for his next “start over” when he’s startled by very thirsty, very much alive Ivy, whom Enzo turned into a vampire. I’m not sure why Enzo didn’t just tell Stefan this but that’s our Enzo.
Thoughts:
- Damon sending Lexi flowers seventeen years after leaving her to die? Hilarious.
- Drunk Jeremy needing tests run at the hospital: “Why don’t you throw in an STD screen while you’re at it?” We were all thinking it, Alaric.
- “Remind me not to kill him.” Kai is too much like Damon for Damon.
- Damon trying to go off of human blood: “Just swish it around a bit, is that rat hair you’re getting?” Blood Tasting with Stefan Salvatore.
- Stefan’s fake proposal to Elena was perfect. Prison time AND bullfighting?
- Why the hell is Bonnie wearing short overalls with one strap down? All she needed was band-aids on them and she’s the 4th member of TLC. Is there a 90s closet of terrible clothes somewhere in that house, and why does it only have women’s clothes? Because I’m pretty sure Damon has been wearing the same plaid shirt this entire banishment.
- “My husband would get a kick out of you” OH HE SURE WOULD, FLASHBACK-LIZ.
- I am the worst recapper because I honestly don’t remember how Alaric is “basically an Original vampire” now…?
- How much of Flashback Damon’s simmering resentment/murder spree has to do with Stefan never looking for him while he was imprisoned and tortured all those years?
- “Damon inspired you, he pushed you to own the darkest parts of yourself…and you made him feel human. You love Damon for the same reasons that I love Damon. Because in spite of everything that he does we can’t live without him. Now you don’t have to but I do.” TESTIFY.
- When Matt is brought to the Vampire Holding Shed and sees Enzo…does he KNOW Enzo? And vice versa? I’m assuming yes but again, worst recapper here.
About the Contributor:
Amanda Reid is an East Coast girl living in California who will never stop missing a true autumn. She’s a bookseller who specializes in kid and teen lit, and she bakes a damn fine pie.
