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Hallelujah! The wait is over! The Vampire Diaries winter break is at a close! Now we can find out if Elena’s sire bond with Damon is broken! And what happens now that Klaus has killed Tyler’s mom!
The people of Mystic Falls show their unrivaled bravery — or stupidity, whichevs — by holding a candlelit memorial service for Tyler’s dead mom. I mean, these gatherings have always gone so well in the past…
Elena thinks she sees Rebekah (she does) and then follows the sounds of tears to find April standing near a bank of lockers, crying. (Oh Shit! +1) Perhaps she’s forgotten which one was hers? George: Is she pregnant? Oh, she’s just having a hard time with all the parental death. Oh, and the fact that she knows about the vampires, AND the fact that they’ve been compelling her. And of all of the vampires she could choose to throw in her lot with, April has chosen Rebekah. Well, I can’t say that I rightly blame her, since Rebekah has been the one to come clean-ish with her. So Rebekah stakes Elena. (Oh Shit! +2)
At the lake house, Damon is trying NOT to listen to all of the lovey-dovey smoochy-woochy messages that Elena is leaving him, while supervising Jeremy’s continued slayer training. Which, I mean, I don’t blame him, because the President of the Handsome Club is performing such presidential duties as sparring with Jeremy, which is a lot more interesting! *Drink!* Come on, boys. Shirts off. Despite the fact the I’M impressed with said sparring, Damon feels that Jeremy is a slow poke, and shows him how he’d fair against a real vampire. Then there’s a bit where Matt and Jeremy have ordered pizza from a cute delivery girl and Damon pays her several smackers to cut off the supply. Then they go jogging. I’m not sure if this is important.
Rebekah calls Stefan, who’s drowning his sorrows — that Elena and Damon FINALLY did it — in some scotch at the Bronze, and tells him that she’s holding Elena hostage at the high school. (Oh Shit! +3) Ah, how every high schooler can identify with that feeling! He calls Caroline for backup.
Mommy Sheriff is meeting with the new mayor, and going over vampires and other miscreants in Mystic Falls, and I’m wondering if we know who this guy is? Have we met him before? He does make a nice reference to the title of the last episode… Ooooh! He’s Bonnie’s Dad!!! Holy Cow! (Oh Shit! +4) He tells Bonnie that — despite the fact that he’s been MIA for, oh, three and a half seasons — he wants to protect her!
At the school, there’s some nice fast-motion vampire on vampire stalking, but it’s all for nought, because Rebekah is an Original, and we all know Originals are WAY faster than regular old vampires. Rebekah wants to take over Klaus’s race for the cure, and wonders why the rest of them haven’t found it while she was daggered. There’s a lot of awkward lack of eye contact, until Caroline blurts out the news that Elena and Stefan broke up. Then Stefan tells her that Elena slept with Damon, and really? How is that Rebekah’s business? I mean, way to be a bitter ex, Stefan. (Oh Shit! +5) Anyway, Rebekah is awesome. *Drink!* Also, a little aside, Stefan answers Rebekah’s “What happened?” with the Damon/Elena bomb, when that is NOT why they broke up. Does that mean that Stefan isn’t actually compelled?
Damon continues to Mr. Miyagi Jeremy, much to Jeremy’s annoyance. They take a break to discuss Damon and Elena, where Damon is awesome *Drink!* with a Facebook reference. Then Klaus shows up, all blustery and delicious, I mean, evil! He’s evil! He drowned Tyler’s mom! And killed all of his hybrids! And did other bad things! Klaus and Damon are both awesome *Drink!* with a little game of numbers, until Damon puts a couple of bullets into Klaus’s chest — for Tyler’s mom. (Oh Shit! +6)
Rebekah is awesome *Drink!* as she reviews the facts, until Elena drops a little bomb of her own: she didn’t sleep with Damon because of the sire bond. She slept with him because she’s in love with him! (Oh Shit! +7)
Bonnie is about to teach us all a valuable lesson about inappropriate relationships with teachers, or, wait, I guess that’s just my take on things. Professor Slim Shady tells her he’s taught her all she needs to know, and gives her a pretty necklace made from human bone as an inappropriate token of affection. As Bonnie leaves, she passes Kol Drogo!!! It’s been a long time since we’ve all seen him, so it’s no wonder it takes her (and us) a minute to figure out who he is. Long enough, that when she runs back to save PSS, both he and Kol Drogo are already gone… Kol Drogo has taken him to Rebekah! (Oh Shit! +8)
Klaus and Damon are awesome *Drink!* again when they discuss Jeremy’s lack of vampire killing, but things take an ominous turn when Klaus declares that he’s taken care of the problem. Just then, the pizza delivery girl shows up just then, asking to use the phone, but (Oh Shit! +9) she’s been turned into a vampire!
PSS is a little star struck at being in a room with two Originals, but he’s still not forthcoming with the information they’re looking for, so Rebekah, bored, decides on a game of Truth or Dare. Elena’s choice of “Dare” ends up just being “Truth”, and has to tell Stefan how being with Damon makes her feel fresh and new, but being with him makes her feel like a sad sack. We KNOW, Elena, we KNOW. Anyways, it turns out Rebekah is a teensy weensy bit bitter about the past 900 years, and is gleefully taking it out on our friends, so when Tyler shows up, she compels him to turn, so he’ll kill Elena, Stefan and Caroline. (Oh Shit! +10)
Pizza delivery vampire attacks Matt! (Oh Shit! +11) So Jeremy stakes her! (Oh Shit! +12) Then Jeremy gets some new ink. It should also be noted that while not shirtless, Jeremy has spent this entire episode in a wife-beater-style tank. Hello arms! *Drink!*
Bonnie busts in on April, and apparently knows or cares not for her friends — who are in mortal danger — and instead starts performing a spell to protect PSS. This spell somehow backfires, so when Kol Drogo water boards PSS, April drowns a little bit. (Oh Shit! +12) Meanwhile, PSS tells them he doesn’t care about the race for the cure, he just wants Silas, who’s buried with it. Because Silas can raise the dead. What were our predictions, now, hmmm? Kol Drogo stabs PSS with a curtain rod, and Bonnie watches as blood pours out of April’s side. (Oh Shit! +13)
Tyler is trying to use lamaze breathing to fight turning into a werewolf while E, S and C stand there dumbly. (Oh Shit! +14) Oh, poor Tyler. Losing the battle, he tells them to run, and they do! Does this mean they aren’t compelled anymore? They barricade themselves behind a metal door, but he huffs and he puffs, and then he goes silent… (Oh Shit! +15)
Rebekah is butt hurtthat Kol Drogo killed PSS, but as soon as they leave the room, we see that he’s not dead! And neither is April! Stefan tells Bonnie to get April out of the school, but then it’s just him and Elena, and he does NOT want to talk. Apparently, Stefan has heard nothing that Elena has said to him about how he’s made her feel like a problem he needs to fix, and makes everything about him, him, him. “How many times are you going to rip my heart out?” Um, excuse me, Stefan. You might want to watch where you standing, because I think it’s on a pile of very shaky ground.
Caroline finds Tyler lying on the floor near a bunch of candles, and makes sure she covers his nakedness with a tablecloth first thing. I mean, priorities, people. Tyler is having a sad, *Drink!* because he feels like the whole thing is his fault. They then give him a nice moment to grieve his mother, which has been about 48 minutes coming.
Rebekah offers to compel Stefan for Elena, so he’ll forget ever loving her, and Stefan shocks us all when he’s all “Do it.” (Oh Shit! +16) But then Rebekah changes her mind. She doesn’t want Stefan to forget Elena like Klaus made him forget her, she wants him to suffer. Interesting. Makes me wonder if, perhaps, he really did love Rebekah? Anyway, she releases them from their compulsion, and Stefan stalks off. (Oh Shit! +17)
PSS is back in his office when Bonnie busts in tells him she can’t be using Expression, what with her dad acting as the new mayor. I mean, she could get SO grounded. Plus, Expressionism is really more of Klaus’s thing. What with the paintings of ponies and all. PSS tells her that Expression isn’t good or bad, it’s whatever she chooses to do with it. But he’s a lying liar who lies! Right? (Oh Shit! +18)
Damon is out burying the pizza deliver vampire when Elena calls him, and tells him that she loves him. She lurves him! And it makes her happy! And it’s not the sire bond! (Right?) So he… tells her he’s going to get the cure for her? What? Stefan-much? He also tells her that he’s going to have to “do some things”, and she’s going to have to just trust him, but to come over. Then Damon looks up into the sky all happy-like. Hmmm.
Stefan has called Rebekah over, and tells her that PSS is not dead. She tells him that she wants to find the race for the cure so she can… give it to Klaus? So he’ll have to be human again? As a punishment? Anyhoo, Stefan wants to partner with Rebekah as brother-haters extraordinaire, and win the race. (Oh Shit +19)
Meanwhile, April outs PSS to Mommy Sheriff and Daddy Mayor for making her dad blow up the council. (Oh Shit! +20)
Damon, Mr. President and Jeremy go to a honkey tonk bar to meet up with Klaus, only to find that he’s killed and turned everyone inside! Jeremy looks to Damon, who promised to find another way to complete his sleeve, but turns out, Damon thinks Klaus’s idea is the best bet. And all the vampires start waking up. (Oh Shit! +21)
Okay, campers. It’s your turn! Has the sire bond really been broken? Is Stefan really such a whiney bitch? Are they all just faking? Discuss.
