HELLO everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful summer full of Netflix binges and copious amounts of alcohol. Let’s dish!
Previously: lots of shit involving Travelers and doppelgangers which amounted to Damon and Bonnie being dead (as if) and vamps not being allowed within the boundaries of Mystic Falls. Also – Alaric is back as Sexy Professor Vamp of the Occult! I’d like to register for that class please and thank you.
- The gang are all dealing (or not) with their grief over losing Bonnie and Damon in their own ways. What they are NOT doing is dealing with it together:
- Caroline has dropped out of Whitmore (I nearly spit my coffee out at this revelation) and is residing near the Mystic Falls border. She’s enrolled her poor mother as her new bestie and spends most of her time as Rupert Giles, poring over witchcraft books looking for a spell to bring back her friends.
- Tyler has enrolled at Whitmore but is having a very hard time keeping a lid on his werewolf rage. He’s no longer a hybrid and is finding this transition really hard. So basically we’re back to Season 1 Tyler when he was an angry dick.
- Matt is part of the Community Protection Squad of Mystic Falls (aww, Matty!), channeling his grief through physical fitness.
- Jeremy is (shocker) not going to school, drinking like he’s at an Irish wake, playing video games all day, hooking up with random girls and worst of all, DISAPPOINTING MATT DONOVAN.
- Alaric is helping Caroline with her search for a spell and struggling as a newbie vamp, especially with the bloodlust. He may have also lost his “game” (his words, not mine).
- Stefan took off in search of a witch that could help them undo the spell but has given up and is now “moving on” by working for a shitty boss at a repair shop in Savannah and having sexy time with a woman named Ivy. He’s avoiding all contact with anyone except Alaric. You know that Caroline is SUPER happy about that.
- Elena is dealing by NOT dealing after Luke gives her some psychotropic herbs that allow her to hallucinate Damon. It was supposed to be a one-time deal to help her say goodbye but Elena has been using them all summer long and is a certifiable addict now, complete with manipulative behavior and martyr complex. The drugs also have the unfortunate side effect of making her SUPER THIRSTY and so Elena is lurking around the borders of Mystic Falls, attacking people and compelling them to forget.
Thoughts:
- The opening scene with the camping, sexing teenagers (who have obviously never read the local paper or they would know better than to be in those woods after dark) was a nice nod to Season 1, especially with the “animal attacks”.
- Where the hell is Enzo? I mean, I know he passed on or whatever but are you telling me that we have NO MORE ENZO?
- Is Jeremy Gilbert really still in high school? They should just tell the administration that he’s being “homeschooled” and put a pin in it already.
- Tyler is looking at Liv like a hungry man lookin’ at a ham sandwich. Oh yeah. He wants some of that.
- Elena isn’t hallucinating Bonnie because (Fake Damon says) she doesn’t want to hear any truth bombs. I’d like to think that Elena knows that Bonnie has just been a plot device for the past two seasons.
- ”Could you BE anymore of a douchebag cliche?” No, Liv. Tyler cannot.
- My heart broke a bit for Elena when she asked Alaric to compel her to forget Damon completely. (Didn’t they try that last time when Jeremy died and THAT WENT SO WELL. I know it was a bit different because Damon compelled her to shut off her humanity but still. Mystic Falls needs a grief counselor on the town’s payroll.)
- Damon Salvatore making blueberry pancakes with little whipped cream-vampire fangs – cutest thing ever? So the afterlife is this every morning along with coffee, the crossword and Bonnie? Well, three out of four ain’t bad.
So what did you guys think? Are you excited for this season? Are you, perhaps, wondering why it’s not the FINAL season? (I love this show and all but it’s been losing steam a bit and Ian Somerhalder can’t look 21 forever. Apparently Paul Wesley has a mirror in his attic that ages for him.) Looking forward to potential Originals crossover? (*small cough* KLAROLINE)
About the Contributor:
Amanda Reid is an East Coast girl living in California who will never stop missing a true autumn. She’s a bookseller who specializes in kid and teen lit, and she bakes a damn fine pie.
