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Previously: Bonnie screws over Kai and sends Damon back to the present day, Stefan turned over Enzo to Vampire Hunter Tripp, Stefan proves himself to be a heartless monster with his awful treatment of Caroline, Damon and Stefan have the most tear-inducing reunion in the history of this show.
Murder Van, Murder Van, Vamp Hunter Tripp and his Murder Van! And yes, you should be singing that to the Spider-Man theme song. Tripp has Ivy and two other vamps chained up in the back of the Mystery Machine (zoinks!) which he drives over the border into Mystic Falls. ZAP. No more Ivy, hurrah!
There is much filling in on Damon’s Return and Elena is understandably freaked out. She COULD just get Alaric to give her back her memories but in the interest of a plotline that I’m sure no one really wants, that doesn’t happen. Oy. Alaric is all about consent and promises to only do it if Elena asks him to. I’m sure Damon is going to be thrilled with that decision. (Spoiler alert – he is NOT.) Somehow the one kiss she shared with Liam and her job as a candy-striper has Elena convinced she’s making the right decision. EYEROLL.
Alaric also tells Elena how he couldn’t compel Dr. Jo so asks her to check and see if she’s on vervane. Guess what? She’s not, she’s a witch! Curious. And she knows that Alaric and Elena are vampires but is totes cool with it since they’re not hurting anyone. I think she even manages to be a bit impressed that Elena used her blood to save that girl’s life at the Corn Maze of Doom.
Sarah Salvatore is still hanging around, trying to track down her relatives. I’m not exactly sure how this girl doesn’t know how to use Google but whatever. She finds Matt in Tripp’s office and bribes him into letting her snoop through his “Animal Attack” files. Speaking of Matt, he’s still working undercover at Vampire Hunter Tripp’s Supernatural Holding Cell and is bringing Enzo some blood to drink. I’m not sure why Matt isn’t setting him free but he seems to think that if Stefan had a good reason to want Enzo dead then that’s good enough for him. Tripp storms in and starts making all kind of demands from Enzo; he wants names, dammit! This isn’t going to end well for Tripp.
Matt tells Caroline about Ivy’s Death Ride and Caroline isn’t amused that he’s just sitting there letting Enzo be locked up. Matt pouts. Caroline enlists Alaric to bust out Enzo, especially now that she knows that Tripp has Ivy’s phone and has figured out that Caroline? Also a vampire. Stefan shows up and confesses to selling out Enzo.
Damon shows up to Elena’s dorm but she’s not ready to see him. Is it odd that I don’t really care? I SHOULD CARE.
Damon lies to Jeremy about Bonnie, telling him that she found peace, instead of being trapped in an “all-magic hamster wheel” with a known psychopath. I’m not sure if that was the right choice but at least Jeremy can FINALLY start grieving. And he does, loudly, drunkenly and aggressively.
Damon calls Bonnie’s cell phone to hear her voice and this is somehow more heartbreaking than his non-reunion with Elena. Elena phones him and says she’s coming to meet him at her dorm. His awkward primping in the mirror is kind of adorable.
And then Tripp shows up for Caroline and kidnaps Damon instead. DAMN IT.
Damon and Enzo chained up in the Murder Van! Just like old times, heh. The Gang piece it all together due to Damon’s dropped cell phone in Elena’s room and so they make haste, setting up roadblocks and trying to fake out Tripp on his Murder Journey across the border into Mystic Falls. Alaric tells Stefan that he doesn’t blame him for giving up on Damon, that he was really just going through the motions as a way of curbing his bloodlust. It’s kind of nice that he’s cutting Stefan a break, because Caroline definitely will NOT. Alaric feigns asking for car help, Tripp isn’t having it and ACTION SEQUENCE, Alaric and the Murder Van end up OVER the border.
Thank God Stefan has reconnected with his Hero Hair; he struggles bloodily over the border, managing to free and return Damon and Enzo. Poor Alaric is dying but Dr. Jo swoops in to save him. It seems that Alaric dies as a supernatural but she’s able to restart his heart as a human…? Either way this means that Alaric is no longer a vampire. Which means he can’t undo Elena’s compulsion.
ANYway. Alaric is happy to be human again, the Salvatore Brothers are drinking at The Grille again and Caroline tells Stefan that he’s basically a sack of steaming garbage that no amount of apologizing can redeem. RIGHT ON.
Thoughts:
- I’m still not over the last scene of last week’s episode. I’m sure you’re not either. Let’s hug it out.
- “You didn’t think I was GONE gone? I promised you an eternity of misery!” I’m so glad Damon’s back, you guys.
- I am super worried about Bonnie; here’s hoping that Dr. Jo, New Witch in Town can help a sister out!
- NO TYLER. HURRAH.
- ”Flannel Hellscape” is the name of my not-yet-formed grunge tribute band.
- “When did Stefan’s moral compass become the One True Law?” I need an Enzo Quote-A-Day desk calendar.
- “I’m sorry if I’m confused about which vampires we like and which ones we don’t.” Come on, Matty D. No one likes a sour puss. But maybe a Vampire Flow Chart would help, and I’m sure Caroline wouldn’t mind making one.
- “You once told me that it was the most real thing you’ve ever felt in your life.” Damon, I know you love her but I’m ready for you to find a new lady. I can’t have you pining away for her like you did for Katherine.
- “The only one who’s turned in other vampires is YOU, Stefan.” Someone needs to get Caroline Forbes a damn cape made of sparkles so that when she drops truth bombs she can do so with a WHOOSH. I’d also like to add: “Am I your last stop on the Stefan Salvatore Apology Tour?” DAMN.
- Jeremy Gilbert: Terrible Hair Watch 2014. The struggle is real.
- “I just wanted to say that, because of what you did for me I can see Elena. So thank you. And I’m sorry. Other than that I don’t know what to say…I might miss you a little bit.” Damon and Bonnie are the new Stefan and Caroline…! I AM HERE FOR IT.
So what did you guys think? Hoping for a bit more with the Damon/Alaric and Damon/Enzo reunions? Eyeroll at Elena being permanently compelled? Let’s dish!
About the Contributor:
Amanda Reid is an East Coast girl living in California who will never stop missing a true autumn. She’s a bookseller who specializes in kid and teen lit, and she bakes a damn fine pie.
