Last seen on The Vampire Diaries: Buster the Vampire Slayer choked the head off a hybrid and escaped from Klaus’s clutches. Wonder if he’ll put a shirt on, now that he’s free. I mean, I hope he doesn’t feel it’s necessary on my account… Also going on: Elena is FEELING ALL THE FEELINGS, and OH YEAH, Klaus and Stefan have joined forces to find A CURE.
Buster the Vampire Slayer is back at his Camper in the Woods, which is surprisingly… still there? Also, he has the head he lopped off of that hybrid in a pillow case. Next, Buster is talking to the witch professor, who is very impressed that he met Klaus, ’cause he IS kind of like a celebrity. The witch professor tells Buster to make sure Bonnie doesn’t get hurt, since she’s a part of his “plan”, but Buster is all like, “No.” So the witch professor says he’ll take care of Bonnie himself. As they’re talking, we see Buster doing that thing where he injects a needle into a hybrid’s gums to pull out the werepire venom, *Drink!* and then he walks menacingly toward The Bronze. George: What I really wanted to be was a dentist.
Inside The Bronze, Jeremy is doing his side work when he thinks he hears a noise! He does! He hears Buster the Vampire Slayer! (Oh shit! +1)
At the Gilbert home, Elena is dear diarying again. Oh! And so is Stefan! Aw, and much like the first couple of episodes of the very first season, their diary entry voice-overs mirror each other in a diary montage!! *Drink!* And call me ridiculous, but while I feel I shoudl be annoyed with this scene, it kind of makes me misty. I L U, season 1!
Klaus calls with the news that Buster escaped, and is his usual awesome self *Drink!* with his talk about blame, trust, and his sister, lying daggered in a box. George: (singing) Daggered in a box… Klaus threatens Stefan not to tell anyone about the cure.
Matt is pretty mad, because Jeremy hasn’t shown up for work yet. Psst! Matt! Check the kitchen! April walks in and makes awkward conversation about not stalking him, and him and Rebekah being a thing. And I SO totally want Rebekah to be the one who gets the cure, so she and Matt can go off and live happily ever after! Also, I’m a little distracted by how defined Matt’s pectoral muscles look in his t-shirt. Ahem. And that’s when Buster comes out of the kitchen holding a knife to Jeremy’s throat! (Oh shit! +2)
Damon shows up at Elena’s looking for Stefan, and the two of them decide that Stefan is dodging them. And also that Elena is in a newbie vampire shame spiral about getting blood drunk and dancing with Damon last episode.
Buster is planning on using his hostages to lure all of the vampires in Mystic Falls to kill them, so he can get more tattoos. He also talks to Jeremy about their conversation last episode, but Jeremy has been compelled, so he doesn’t remember! And boy howdy, he is not happy about it.
Damon mobilizes the scoobies in preparation for killing Buster, but Stefan tries to act like he has another idea. Damon is awesome *Drink!* when he asks Stefan if he was out buying bossy pants all morning.
Bonnie and the witch professor are doing some serious flirting in his office, over tea and books, which, hey! Sounds like my kind of flirting, actually, but this is creepy, and not just because he’s a professor and she’s a high school student. Anyway, the witch professor wants to hypnotize Bonnie, but witches are immune to hypnotism, silly! Except, if that’s true, how did he just get her to take her earring off? I guess? Kind of a weird thing to get her to do. I mean, I’d at least try a chicken cluck or two.
Elena wants to bust all up in on Buster, and Damon tries to show her that she’s not ready, but Alaric (RIP) trained her! To throw Damon down on the bed and straddle him! With a crossbow! *Drink!*
Matt tries to convince April that Buster is just crazy, because everybody knows there’s no such thing as vampires, but Jeremy is too caught up in the fact that he was compelled again to be of much help. Instead, he talks to Buster about tattoos and shit. Then Buster sends Matt and April into the kitchen so they can escape.
Damon finds Alaric’s (RIP) maps of the underground railroad in Mystic Falls, so they can break into The Bronze and free the hostages. George: Boy, if Harriett Tubman had only had that fancy Samsung phone that obviously bought major product placement in this episode! Stefan tells them that Klaus is sending someone in, and that they should wait and see how that goes, but Damon is not having it. He also calls Klaus’s minions “the lollipop guild”. *Drink!* So Stefan Vervains him. (Oh shit! +3) Elena wants to go with Stefan, and is having vampire feelings, *Drink!* but he convinces her to stay put.
Tyler is talking to some hybrid who Klaus is sending in to get Buster. Or more likely, be a sacrificial hybrid, to see what Buster has in his arsenal. Caroline wonders who Faye is, and Faye acts a little bit like… Faye. The worst part of which is that she calls Tyler “Ty”. Caroline is NOT impressed, especially when she overhears Klaus talking to Tyler about “his time in Appalachia”.
Matt’s about had it up to here with April’s questions about vampires, but he manages to keep his cool and start to chisel away at the mortar of the bricked-over underground railroad. I think he’s putting a lot of trust in a dish towel to mute the sound of his hammering, but whatevs.
The Sacrificial hybrid is on the phone with Klaus, receiving his final orders, before entering The Bronze. George: Worst part about being a hybrid? Having to wear one of those bluetooth-things to keep in touch with your sire. Buster tells Jeremy about his friend who got turned into a vampire, and then shows him the tattoo he got from killing her. The Sacrificial hybrid enters The Bronze and avoids the tripwire, but steps on the pressure-sensored one, which triggers a glass explosion. And covers the guy in shards of glass! *Drink!* Then Buster the Vampire Slayer blows a hole through his heart with a shotgun. Ouch. *Drink!* (Oh shit! +4)
Meanwhile, Stefan has snuck in from the other side of the tunnel, and sends Matt and April through it to safety. He then starts to attempt to reason with Buster, but Buster’s not having it, and does that thing where he grabs Jeremy and shoots from behind him at Stefan. I think Angelina Jolie did that with James McAvoy once, because, I mean, who can blame her? So yeah, it’s not as sexy when Buster does it. But it IS effective, and Stefan dives behind the bar. Unfortunately in all the ruckus, Jeremy stepped on one of the pressure sensors! (Oh shit! +5)
Buster the Vampire Slayer DOESN’T MAKE DEALS WITH VAMPIRES, but Elena pretends to be human and distracts him for a moment so she can knock him over! But his gun goes off! And shoots Jeremy in the stomach! (Oh shit! +6) Elena fights with Buster as Stefan grabs Jeremy and flings him to safety away from the bomb he’s standing on, but then disappears with Buster! Elena gives Jeremy her blood to save him, but then HIS blood makes her all vein-y around the eyes, and she tries to hide her hideousness from him. But it’s okay, he doesn’t mind! And he tells her about his being compelled.
Stefan is leading Buster through the tunnels when he runs into Damon. Damon wants Buster, and Stefan sends him away, and we have Salvatore Brothers Fisticuffs! *Drink!* Damon fits his hand inside Stefan’s ribcage until Stefan tells him about the race for the cure.
Buster is running through the tunnels, but is met by Elena, who eats him a little! (Oh shit! +7) And tells him to stay away from Jeremy! But Buster tells her she’s the monster! And shivs her! But not in the heart! So she snaps his neck! Whoops. Elena just killed someone. (Oh shit! +8) She’s gonna feel some feelings now. ALSO she just killed Buster the Vampire Slayer, so how we gonna find the cure? (OH SHIT! +9) Jeremy is gonna get called!!!! That’s how.
Bonnie and the witch professor are trying to meditate or something, but it’s not working. Except, it SO totally IS working, because 7 whole hours have passed! Then the witch professor totally gives Bonnie a St. Crispin’s Day speech, and she lights ever single candle — of which there are a lot — in the room. George: I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again: Witches love candles!
Elena is digging a hole in which to bury Buster the Vampire Slayer, while wearing a lot of blood on her chin, *Drink!* when Damon and Stefan come by. They try to comfort her, but she is having VAMPIRE FEELINGS, dammit! *Drink!* Damon tries to back Stefan up, but Elena gets mad at him, too. And that’s when the realization that she killed someone hits her. Sad face.
Caroline walks in on Tyler and Faye hugging, but Tyler tells her that nothing ever happened, and in fact, he and Faye are on a secret mission to free all of the hybrids from Klaus’s sire bond! And if Klaus knew, he’d kill them all! (Oh shit! +10) Aw, Tyler, you just keep being a better and better guy, and making me like you! Why you gotta do that?
Jeremy and Matt buddy cop a vervain bracelet onto April, who has been compelled to think this whole ordeal was caused by a gas leak. George: It’s gangs! On PCP! She wants to hang out, but they are both done with the day. George: I was really hoping for a me sandwich! She leaves awkwardly, and Matt asks Jeremy how he’s doing. They both agree that they’re really just sick of all the secrets. And THAT is when Jeremy gets his first tattoo. (Oh shit! +11) He keeps it a secret.
Stefan and Damon talk about how Elena is doing, and whether there is or isn’t a cure for vampirism over some scotch. *Drink!* Damon asks Stefan if he wants to turn Elena back into a human because she wants it, or because he can’t love her as a vampire. This is an interesting question, and one I’ve never considered before now, but… hmmmm. Anyway, Damon tells Stefan that he’s fine with Elena either way, so if he helps Stefan find this cure… it’s because he loves Stefan so much. Awww! Salvatore Brothers Unite!
Elena is back dear diarying, and you know what’s worse than killing someone, you guys? Losing yourself!! And feeling ALL the feelings! *Drink!* Then some blood drips onto her diary just then, and we think that maybe whatever Buster shivved her with was poisonous, but no! There’s a bloody trail to the bathroom! And in the bathroom, it’s, um, a blood bath! *Drink!* (I’m here all week) And Elena has a slip and fall in the blood! *Drink!* (Oh shit! +12) And somebody has written “Killer” on the mirror. But NO! It’s all in her head! Uh-oh, now she’s really losing herself. (Oh shit! +13)
And OH MAN, Katherine is back next week!!! Okay, let’s conversate!
