About:
You guys! I just watched Breaking Dawn, Part 2! It went CRAZY!! But I ALSO just watched The Vampire Diaries! So let’s discuss:
Elena is being haunted by The Ghost of Buster! He does things like make the microwave beep really loudly! It’s scary! She calls for Jeremy! The Ghost of Buster fights with her! And she grabs a knife and stabs him in the neck! But it was Jeremy! (Oh shit! +1) She killed Jeremy! Damon comes over to help, but thinks she should call Stefan. Also, he called Stefan. But Elena doesn’t want Stefan’s help! She’s got to go wash her brothers blood off her hands.
At Tyler’s house, Faye gets all flirty with Tyler — what?!! But oh, it’s because Klaus is there! I get it. They’re only faking. Then Caroline shows up, and gives Tyler all his stuff back. But she’s only faking, too. Right? Right! They fooled Klaus. Caroline and Faye are totally BFFs! Aw, Caroline.
But Elena is still hallucinating blood everywhere, on account of being haunted by The Ghost of Buster, and it turns out, Klaus knows all about it, on account of the fact that he killed the original 5 vampire slayers. There’s a witches curse on a vampire who kills a slayer, so that the slayer ends up haunting that vampire until they kill themselves. The Ghost of Buster isn’t helping with Elena’s FEELING ALL THE FEELINGS, so she runs outside! And Klaus whisks her away! (Oh Shit! +2)
Jeremy is admiring his new ink, but Matt can’t see it. They wonder if he’s been called as a slayer. Pssst! Jer, you HAVE. Professor Slim Shady (recently the witch professor, but WHAT does he keep doing hanging out with high schoolers? Even if he’s not evil, dude is nast.) show up. At the high school. And hey, there’s April! She wonders where Rebekah is. Let’s drink for deja vu! *Drink!* George: Hey guys, wanna hang out? April thinks she recognizes Professor Slim Shady. Probably from the time he tried to hang out with her in middle school.
Bonnie is upset that the Salvatore brothers lost Elena. But she agrees to try to break the witch curse that’s haunting her. No problem, she says, she’ll just get help from Professor Slim Shady, of whom they no NOTHING. And everybody’s all trusting him? What is wrong with you people? Is this Mystic Falls?
Klaus shows Elena to a lovely 1BR, exposed brick loft in the downtown area for $1200/mo., but she’s not interested! I AM. Especially if it comes with the pouty lips. Elena is all, “I don’t wanna be killin’ myself!”, but Klaus is the Yoda in this scenario. “You will be. You. Will. Be.” Then he leaves her in the room. And as nice as that place is, there do appear to be sharp objects in the room. You know, if he’s supposed to be keeping her safe and all.
Stefan is looking for Caroline and Tyler’s help in getting Elena out of the loft, and they tell him that, surprise! Faye’s a genius! Chris’s sire bond is broken! I think Chris is the hybrid guarding Elena? Possibly?
Possibly Chris brings in a nice piece of luggage with Elena’s toothbrush in it. That is some toothbrush. But I bet blood mouth is worse than burger mouth. Brusha-brusha-brush-da-na-na-na. The Ghost of Buster nags at her some more to try to get her to off herself, but Elena is holding her own against ALL THE FEELINGS *Drink!* So then he… turns into Katherine? What?!!! That’s not how I wanted Katherine to appear!!! Is that even what happened? (Oh Shit! +3)
Professor Slim Shady is giving a speech about some immortal dude named Silas and how he’s gonna rise again, and April remembers that he hung out with her dad. Damon makes some great faces. *Drink!*
Katherine asks what you’ve ALL wanted to ask Elena since the beginning of the season: “Don’t you EVER STOP CRYING?!!!!” *Drink!* Then she says some stuff about how Stefan won’t be able to love her now that she’s a vampire, and they’re really pounding that one home, eh? Elena tries to pounce on her, but there’s nothing there! Bye Hallucination Katherine! It was nice to see you!
Damon is hanging out in Alaric’s office, and finds some scotch hidden in the drawer. Aw, Alaric!!! RIP!!! We miss you. I need to go cry now. Bonnie brings in Professor Slim Shady, and Damon makes a great Origin of Species joke. *Drink!* They show PSS Jeremy’s drawing of Buster’s tattoos, and he tells them that — legend has it — the hunter’s curse lingers until another potential slayer is called. (Oh Shit! +4) So Damon calls Jeremy. George: He lit’raly calls.”
Possibly Chris IS Chris! He meets with Stefan, but is afraid Klaus is coming back soon. But he’s not! And that’s because Caroline is going to the Bronze to distract Klaus! Klaus tells her HE never would have let Tyler hurt her if Tyler were still sire bonded to him. Okay, and I get it. I know. Tyler is good, and I do like him now. I do. It’s just that I WANT KLAUS AND CAROLINE TO GET TOGETHER AND FOR HIM TO DRAW MORE PICTURES OF HER WITH RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS, OKAY?!!!!!
Oh, Hallucination Katherine’s still there! Hi Hallucination Katherine! She is doing a very good job of reminding Elena of all the people who had died because of her. Which, actually, Hallucination Katherine, it all started with you. Or the person you were the doppelgänger of. Chris gets Stefan into the loft, and he tries to calm Elena down, but she only sees Buster coming at her, so she stakes him. (Oh Shit! +5) He cries and cries, but all she hears is “Who wants cake?”
Bonnie is not amused that Damon left out the tidbit about Jeremy being a potential slayer, and then Jeremy makes a funny about staking Damon to activate his Slayer powers. *Drink!* Stefan unstakes himself and tells Damon to go find Elena.
Caroline confesses to Klaus that they freed Elena and then lost her, and even though he loves her, and wants to draw pictures of her with ponies, he’s pretty mad. Elena is walking down the street having a FEELING ALL THE VAMPIRE FEELINGS montage, *Drink!* when she finds herself on a bridge! Is it the old Wickery Bridge, by any chance? George: They really gotta build a second bridge in that town. She looks into the water, like vampires can drown, but then her mom appears! And, oh! tells her she should have died at the bridge, so all she has to do is take off her daywalking ring, and it can all be over. George: You’re kind of a terrible mom. Elena stands there in the dark, since it turns out, dawn’s a long way off. Damon shows up and tries to talk her off the ledge. Kind of literally. Then he notices the absence of her daywalking ring. (Oh shit! +6)
Chris sure hopes helping Tyler and Faye doesn’t get him in trouble, and that’s when Klaus walks in and starts to kill him. Faye steps in, and Klaus decides to let him go. And that’s when Stefan walks in and stakes him! (Oh shit! +7)
Damon wants to get Elena off the bridge, but Buster won’t let her listen! Until Jeremy cuts Chris’s head off! (Oh Shit! +8)Then there’s a nice segue from the camera showing Jeremy getting a new new tattoo, to Elena getting a tattoo of her own. From the sun. Thinking quick, Damon grabs her and they jump into the Mystic… River.
Aaannd now it’s nearing Thanksgiving, so Kay’s Jewelers is inundating us with their awful, awful, cheesy commercials. That make me misty-eyed. Every. Single. Time. I hate them so much for that. I mean, seriously. He proposes with a Leo diamond AT THE STORE?!!! How lame is that?
I guess Damon fished Elena’s ring out of the river, and they’re all cozy and dry inside. And hey! Elena is ACTUALLY really and truly moved by his saving of her this time! I think that shows maturity. Damon is awesome *Drink!* with his Heathers reference. George: Teenage Suicide: Don’t Do It!!! Then they hold each others hands, and have meaningful eye contact! *Drink!* Then Damon takes the (annoyingly) high road, and tells her that everything Stefan had been doing, he’d been doing for her. AND then he tells her about the race for the cure.
Caroline comes in to find Tyler and Faye mourning Chris. Tyler is very upset about Chris, and whoops! Turns out, Caroline agreed to go out on a date with Klaus in exchange for Klaus agreeing to let Chris get killed! (Oh Shit! +8) Color me sad! Aw, poor Tyler.
Damon shows up at the Bronze, George: And Damon’s at breakfast. and orders his usual scotch, plus one for Alaric. RIP! Then Matt comes by and tells Damon that Professor Slim Shady is a super creepy dude for more than his obsession with high school students!
Meanwhile, Professor Slim Shady tells Bonnie that he knows about Jeremy, and that when he gets all of his tattoos, she’s going to want to come to him, because he’ll be the only one who can help. Well if that’s not foreshadowing, I don’t know what is. (Oh Shit! +9)
Elena apologizes for staking Stefan, but he’s totally okay with it. She asks him why he sent Damon to save her, and he tells her that the truth is, she trusts Damon, even when she doesn’t trust him. And that it’s okay. Elena tells him that she loves him for fighting for the girl she was, but that she’s different now. Who she is… What she wants… Who she wants… Stefan understands that she’s feeling ALL THE VAMPIRE FEELINGS FOR DAMON!!! What what?!!!! Are they breaking up?!!! I did NOT see this coming!!!! Stefan understood why she felt the feelings for Damon before, because he was the ripper, and he drove her to it. But he JUST. CAN’T. DO IT ANYMORE. WHAT?!!!!! (Oh shit! +10)
Okay, what do you think? Is this a fake breakup? Is it real? Will Elena and Damon finally be together? For a little while? And WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TO JEREMY?!!!
